June 25
(-ooooooooo-)
Julianna lay cuddled in George's arms in her big bed under the plump cream-colored comforter. She pushed her head onto his shoulder and let out a sigh of contentment.
"I love you, George." She murmured. She felt the slight stiffening of his body.
"Jules." He tried to continue but she had placed a finger against his lip.
"Shh..I know." She said.
*****FLASHBACK*****
"George, we need to talk." Julianna said. He smiled.
"Sure. What about?" He asked, pulling her down onto the couch beside him.
"I love you." She said. He froze and stared at her, his heart flipping in his chest.
"No, you don't." He said. Her face hardened a bit, in anger.
"I know what I feel for you. If you can't accept that, that's fine." She said.
"Jules....You know I can't..." He stopped. She stared at him, but he avoided her gaze.
"Fine, maybe you can't....do....whatever it is that you can't do or say. But it's time that you accept what I feel for you. I love you and there's nothing you can do to change it."
"Jules...I can't give you what you want. I can't commit to you."
"What do you think I want?" She asked him. He paused, a bit thrown off guard by her question.
"Commitment. Marriage. Children." He said. She shrugged.
"What I want, is you. Maybe that means a commitment. I don't know. But the rest is really just icing on the cake, George." George stood and looked down at her.
"Don't expect what I can't give." He said and turned, walking away from her.
"I don't." She said to his back and knew he heard her.
*****END FLASHBACK*****
(-ooooooooo-)
The next day, George puttered around his house all day, restless with memories of Julianna. Last night had drudged up memories that made him feel ashamed. And she wouldn't even let him stutter stupidly through explanations like most women would. She just pressed her fingers to his lips and told him that she understood.
She wasn't like other women, George knew. By now they would all be pressuring him to make a commitment. She just let him make all the choices for their relationship. She went along with it like she wanted it. Hell, he wasn't even sure that she didn't want to, considering the way she was acting. She wouldn't even let him explain, not like he had anything to explain, or wallow in his own shame. She just told him everything would be okay.
Well, dammit, he wasn't okay with everything. Fuck. He couldn't even explain himself to himself.
(-ooooooooo-)
Later that afternoon, George lay sprawled out on his bed. It wasn't yet five o'clock, but George was moody. He couldn't do anything to keep his mind off of his girlfriend. He had tried beer. He had tried a sweaty game of basketball. He had tried a motorcycle ride. He had even called his Mom to talk, but she had asked him how Julianna was doing. Frustrated, he just decided to think about it and get it over with. Maybe he could come to a conclusion somehow.
The longer he lay there, the more ridiculous he felt. For months he had held her at bay, keeping his distance from her because he didn't want to lose his freedom. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized that freedom was what he had, even with Julianna.
His freedom with women didn't matter, because ever since Julianna and he had started dating, he hadn't wanted anybody else. Actually, since he had met her he hadn't wanted anybody else but had used other women to try and block her out. But now that he had her, he had no urge to be with another woman, to date them.
His freedom with his 'buddies' wasn't a big deal either. Julianna let him go out with the guys all the time. And he knew that she wasn't just letting him go because he wanted to, she was letting him go because she didn't mind at all. And when the guys went out and brought their girlfriends or wives, she came willingly and they always enjoyed their time together with their friends.
He still had his freedom to act. Hell, she acted. Sometimes they had to be separated and he never once heard her complain that he worked too much. She understood his career and his schedule.
The thought of making a commitment to her didn't scare him as it should have. Or used to. He couldn't imagine his life without Julianna in it. He loved her, he knew, but was afraid to tell her because then she might get the idea that he would want more from her. But what more would she want? A marriage? That didn't frighten him anymore. If he couldn't have her with him for the rest of his life, where would he be? Nowhere. He'd be lost without her. What would a ring on her finger change? He didn't date anyone else. Didn't even think about other women. So what was the problem? Children? No, that thought didn't scare him either. Maybe he didn't think he would make such a great father, but the idea of having a child with Julianna brought images of sweet little girls with curly dark hair calling him Daddy. Or a son he could teach to play sports. Thinking about watching a child, that he made with Julianna, grow delighted him.
He bolted up in bed. He wanted her forever. Completely. Always. He jumped out of bed to take a shower and shave so he could go find her and tell her everything.
(-ooooooooo-)
George smiled as he reached her house. He drove up the driveway and pulled up in front of the garage, not even noticing the car he had pulled up beside. He jumped out of his jeep and jogged to the front door. He slid his keys into the lock and pushed his way into the house. The first thing he saw had his stomach rolling.
Julianna was pressed up against the wall by her ex-boyfriend, Ron Eldard and was kissing him. When George burst into the house, he watched Julianna jump and try to pull away from Ron, but Ron held on.
"George!" She exclaimed. He stared at her, all the hurt he felt displayed openly on his face.
"I can't believe you." He whispered fiercely and turned, bolting out of the house. Julianna managed to wiggle out of Ron's grasp and ran out the front door, but George was already in his car. She ran to the car, but he was pulling away before she could reach it. He backed out of the driveway and drove off, tires squealing. She put a hand to her mouth and looked around, trying to see if anyone in the neighborhood had seen anything. She didn't see anyone so she turned back toward the house where she saw Ron standing in the doorway.
"You bastard." She pointed a finger at him. "Get the hell out of here." She said.
"But Jules..." He held a hand out to her.
"No. You just ruined the best thing that's ever happened to me." She said fiercely. "Out." She said and walked past him. She walked into the house and slammed the door in his face. She leaned against it until she heard the sound of Ron's car pulling away before she dashed through the kitchen, grabbing her keys and and slammed into the garage.
(-ooooooooo-)
Julianna had first drove to George's house, but she had already known he wouldn't be there. So she drove around town to spots he often visited, trying to find his jeep. Just when she was about to give up, she drove by Tim's Bar and Grill and spotted his jeep in the parking lot. She swerved into the lot and parked her car as close to his as she could. She jumped out and went into the bar. She quickly spotted him, talking to the bartender and owner, Tim, in the nearly empty bar. Hardly anyone was here this early. Julianna slid into a bar stool beside George.
"Well, hello there Miss Julianna." Tim said. George quickly looked over at her. He shifted slightly on his stool, moving away from her. It stung, but she didn't let it show.
"Hi Tim." She said with a smile that was forced.
"What can I get for you?" Tim asked.
"Nothing tonight, Tim. I need to talk to George, if you'd excuse us, please."
"Sure thing, Miss Julianna." He said and smiled, walking away to entertain another customer.
"I don't want to hear it." George muttered.
"Well, I want you to hear it. What you saw earlier was not what you're thinking." She said. George stood and lifted his arm.
"Tim, put that on my tab." George said, loud enough for the bartender to hear him. Tim nodded and George walked quickly out of the bar. Fortunately, he hadn't been there long enough to get intoxicated, so he was clearheaded and knew where he had left his jeep.
"Dammit, George. Would you listen?" Julianna asked, trailing his side.
"No." He said firmly. She grabbed his arm.
"You're being ridiculous." She said. He pulled out of her grasp and turned to her.
"Uh huh. I just walk in on my girlfriend kissing her ex-boyfriend even when she claims she loves me. Here, I thought you really cared, but you were just acting to make me think you were a wonderful woman. Yup, I think I'm being ridiculous!" He said and turned on his heel, storming to his jeep. She ran in front of him and pressed a hand to his chest.
"He kissed me. I did not kiss him back. He had me shoved against a wall, George. Now, I'm sure you've never had a man nearly twice your size pressing you up against a wall when you didn't want to be but it's a pretty hard thing trying to get one off. Especially when that certain man thinks you want to be there. Now whether you believe me or not is your problem. But I was not cheating on you. I was not kissing him. And I was *not* acting my feelings for you. I love you and if you can't deal with that, then I suggest you find something else to do." She said and stepped around him. She made her way to her car and he watched her through the windows of his jeep as she sped out of the parking lot.
He sighed and climbed into his jeep, pressing his head against the steering wheel. He was too concerned over this fight to worry if someone had heard their conversation. Lucky for them, no one had. George started the ignition and drove off.
(-ooooooooo-)
Julianna lay in bed a week from that night, struggling to fall asleep. She hadn't heard from George since their argument in the parking lot at Tim's. She wasn't sure whether he didn't believe her, or if he had taken her advice to heart and found something else to do. But whatever the reason was that he hadn't contacted her, all she knew was she could barely sleep without him. She could barely eat without him. Maybe she should throw herself on her sword and beg for forgiveness. Tell me what to do, she thought to no one in particular.
(-ooooooooo-)
George sat in his parents house, just enjoying their company. He had flew to Kentucky, just to visit them, seeing as how he didn't have anything to do for the next two days. They were settled in the living room, his parents on the couch and he sitting across from them in a chair.
"How've you been, son?" Nicholas asked, noticing the shadows under George's eyes.
"Pretty good."
"You've not been getting enough sleep." Nina worried aloud.
"I've been working, Mom."
"You should take a few days off. Rest some." She said. George smiled.
"I've got today and tomorrow off. I'll sleep all day tomorrow." George reassured her. She nodded, knowing he wouldn't.
"Why didn't you bring that beautiful girlfriend of yours by?" Nicholas asked. Nina brightened at the mention of Julianna.
"Yes, where is our lovely Jules?" Nina asked. George sighed.
"We broke up." Nina and Nicholas simply stared at him.
"You what?" Nicholas asked.
"What in the world for?" Nina asked, her hopes for the marriage of the two dashed into the dirt.
"We had a....fight, for lack of a better word. We've not spoken in a week." George said.
"What happened?" Nicholas asked. George sighed.
"Nothing." George said, reluctant to tell his parents the details.
"George. We're your parents. Tell us what happened." Nicholas said. George sighed and bent his head a bit, studying his hands.
"A week or so ago, I was lying around the house all day, contemplating our relationship. I realized that...I loved her. It was as simple as that." Nina smiled. "So, I rushed to her house to tell her what I had realized and how much of a fool I had been. Well, I opened up the front door of her house and saw her kissing her ex-boyfriend, Ron Eldard." Nina's smile fell and settled in a grim line. Nobody hurt her baby boy like that, she thought.
"So, I ran out of the house and drove away. I drove around for awhile before I stopped at Tim's Bar and Grill. I went in, had two beers when she showed up, claiming we had to talk. I didn't want to hear it but she told me that she hadn't cheated on me. She said that she wasn't kissing him back, but from where I was standing, it looked to me like she had been. Anyways, she said she was sure that I'd never had a man nearly twice my size pushing me up against a wall and kissing me when I didn't want to be kissed and that it's not the easiest thing to get that person off of you. Then she left." George finished.
"And you've not spoken since?" Nicholas said.
"Yeah." George muttered and looked up at his parents. So that was why he wasn't sleeping, Nina thought. He loved her.
"Talk to her." Nina said.
"I can't." George said.
"Why not?" Nina asked.
"It's not that easy...for me." He said. She nodded a bit, knowing her son wasn't exactly easy with words, especially when he may have made a mistake. Nicholas leaned forward on the couch.
"George, you love her. You admitted it. She loves you, that was obvious enough." Nicholas said. "And when that girl says she wasn't kissing him back, I'd believe her. She's not one to lie, George, and you know that. Even when she knows the truth may hurt. You can't let someone so special to you just walk out of your life. I don't care if you have to lock her in a closet or handcuff her to something, but you need to tell her how you feel and that you are sorry. You can't let one of the best things of your life go if it's possible to prevent it."
(-ooooooooo-)
Later that night, on the airplane back to California, George went over his father's words. He knew he was right. Well, there was only one thing George could do about that.
(-ooooooooo-)
Julianna was lying on the couch, watching television when the doorbell rang. She sighed and pushed up from the couch and made her way to the front door. When she peeked through the peephole, she was surprised as she could be when she saw George. She opened the door slowly, not sure if something was wrong or if he was there just to talk. George smiled meekly.
"Hey." He murmured. She nodded slightly and opened the door wider, letting him into the house. "Jules, we need to talk." George said.
"Okay." She said, walking back into the living room. She sat on the couch and muted the television with her remote. He sat beside her and paused, not looking at her directly.
"First off, I'm sorry it took so long just to get here." He said. She remained silent. He closed his eyes briefly, searching for the words to help him. "I'm sorry I blew up at the bar and grill. I had no right."
"Sure you did." She said. He paused and looked at her briefly before looking away again.
"Earlier that day I had been home alone all day with myself. I couldn't stop thinking about you." He murmured. "I was thinking about how much you tolerated from me, without a complaint. And I began to wonder why I was reluctant to make a commitment with you. All this time I'd tried to convince myself that I wanted my freedom. But the longer I thought about it, the more I realized that I had my freedom still. You let me do what I wanted with the guys. Sometimes you came along with me. I still acted. You acted. You tolerated my time schedule, like other women couldn't. And when I began to think that I wanted freedom with those other women, it hit me that ever since we had started seeing each other, I hadn't dated another woman. Or thought about another woman, for that matter and I was perfectly content with that. Because you're the only woman who I've cared so much about." He looked up at her then and saw she was studying him intently, trying to determine if he was lying, even though her heart was flipping in her chest with excitement.
"And I was thinking that..I can't imagine my life without you in it. If you weren't here, I would only be half of me. If you weren't by my side for the rest of my life, where would I be? Nowhere. I would be lost without you, Julianna. I'm not scared of a long term commitment. If you're the commitment, I'm game. Marriage doesn't frighten me, as long as it's with you. So if you want it, you got it." He smiled then and took her hand in his when he saw her eyes fill with tears.
"Can you imagine what it would be like if we had babies?" George asked. "Little girls with dark curls running to me at the end of a workday would be sheer heaven. A little boy I could call my own and teach everything to. Can you imagine them, Jules?" He watched as her chin trembled and she nodded slightly. A tear slid down her cheek.
"And the most important thing I realized was.." He paused. "I'm in love with you. I love you more than anything else. Nothing else compares. I need you, Julianna. I love you." Suddenly she threw her arms around his neck and sobbed happily into his shoulder.
"I love you!" She exclaimed and squeezed her eyes closed as he chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist.
"I know you were telling the truth about Ron. I knew it even last week. I'm sorry that I let you believe that I didn't trust you." He said. She turned her face into his neck and kissed him, kissing a trail up his neck, over his cheek and to his mouth. She opened her mouth to him, her eyes closed as happy tears continued to slide their way through. He leaned back, lying back on the couch.
"Let's begin forever right now, Jules."
(-ooooooooo-)