January 3rd-6th, 2001
-------------------
Takes place after both Julianna and George leave ER...George and Julianna are married just to warn you ahead of time. I got this idea off of a music video I saw...Sort of. It bloomed from that but really had nothing much to do with the song.
-------------------
Julianna stood in her bathroom, the door locked to prevent George from walking in on her. She slowly lifted her shirt and stared down at the flatness of her belly. Then she removed the towel she had used for her shower off of its rack and rolled it into a ball. She pushed it under her shirt and then moved her shirt down, making a small mound under it. She held the shirt in place as she stared sideways into the mirror at the mound she had made. She ran her hand over it, pretending for just a minute that she really was pregnant.
Suddenly the wedding ring on her finger cast a glint of the mirror and shined straight in her eyes. She blinked for a moment before lifting her left hand to inspect her engagement and wedding rings. The rings had sat there for just over three years, and she could still remember clearly what her wedding to George had been like. It was the most beautiful experience she had ever had and she knew hardly anything could compete. The one thing she knew could beat that experience was an experience she feared she would never have; giving birth.
Julianna wanted a baby, a child, so bad but before they had gotten married, George had made it clear that he hadn't wanted children. Didn't want children. But lately, the urge for a child was so strong to Julianna, that she had a hard time thinking of anything else. Every time she and George made love, she wished they were making a baby, and not protecting themselves from what George would consider a disaster.
The only thing she could hope and wish for, was that George had somehow changed his mind. That was why she was going to talk about it to him that very day.
-------------------
Julianna walked into the kitchen where George stood at the counter, pouring coffee from the pot and into his mug. She looked at his back for a moment, seriously contemplating turning back around and not bringing this up. She could feel it inside of her that he would be upset. But..she had to do it. If Julianna didn't, she would always know she had never even tried.
"George." She murmured quietly. He turned his head to look at her, a slight smile on his lips.
"Hey babe." He said. He turned to look at her, cupping the mug in both of his hands.
"We need to talk." She said.
"Okay." He nodded and leaned back against the counter. She walked to him and leaned her hip against the counter. He responded by turning toward her and leaning his own hip against the counter. "What is it?" She tipped her head down and looked into the dark brown of his coffee. Finally she turned and looked up at him, meeting his gaze.
"I know that we talked about this before, but...I feel that if I never say anything, then nothing will happen. And I want it to, I.." She trailed off.
"What are you talking about?" George asked quietly, staring down at her. She took a deep breath and making sure her eyes were locked on his, jumped over the emotional ledge.
"I want a baby." She said. He simply stared at her, no emotion flickering over his face for nearly thirty seconds as they stared at each other. Finally he looked down as he placed his coffee onto the hard surface.
"We talked about that before we got married, Jules." George said and pushed off the counter. He looked back at her for a moment as he walked to the other side of the kitchen.
"I know we did, I just..I thought maybe you had changed your mind. It's apparent that you haven't, but George, there is this void inside me. I know I could go on with just you for the rest of my life and I'd be happy. But there is this emptiness that I feel and I know that a baby can fill it." He simply stared at her from across the room as she continued talking. "It's not my biological clock ticking. These days women are having babies when they are forty-five. I just have this...place inside me that is yearning for a child. I know you don't want children. I'm asking only for one." She said, knowing that her heart ached for more than one..She wanted two, or even three, but she knew she wouldn't ask that of him.
"Jules, it's not a little puppy. There is so much involved in raising kids." He argued.
"I know." She said. "I saw how hard my mother struggled raising us three girls by herself. I know how it is. I know it will be hard. But..we can afford the best for a baby and the rest will come in time. I know I can be responsible for a baby."
"What about me being gone all the time? You wouldn't be able to come with the baby because eventually they would have to go to school. Or when they are younger, they'd be hard to take traveling." He said.
"People do it all the time! Other actors have done it! Why do you suppose we can't?" She asked.
"But I would still be gone a lot. You don't want that for our baby."
"You'd be their father. It wouldn't matter as long as you came home. I'd be there when you were gone." She argued.
"What about when I am gone for months and can't get back?" He asked.
"We can always take the baby with us until he is five years old. And after that, we can get a tutor..I can home school him or her on the road when we can't be home."
"That's too unstable for a child." He said.
"You said yourself in an interview that you are home, in Los Angeles, seventy-five percent of the time!" She said.
"What about the other twenty-five percent?" He asked.
"Normal people do it! What about, about children of truck drivers? Or the kids whose parents work in an emergency room? What about Laura? She has Cal and she continued acting! Other actors do it besides just her!" She exclaimed.
"And end up getting divorced." He shot back. A pained look crossed her face.
"I don't want that to happen." She said softly.
"Me neither. If we are apart too much, it may strain our relationship. I love you, Jules, I don't want to ruin that. Plus, you would get upset with me for not spending more time with the baby because of work."
"I act too!" She exclaimed.
"Look, Jules, I just don't think it would work." He said and pulled out a chair from the kitchen table and sat.
"It'll be hard on our relationship. I know that. But I want a baby." She said.
"We discussed this before our marriage, and now we are discussing it again. I can't have a baby. It would be unfair to them." He said. Tears gathered in her eyes as the little amount of hope she had held simply died away. She looked down, furious with herself for letting him see the tears. Even though she loved him, she did not want him to see how much he hurt her by refusing her flatly. She wanted a child, so badly. Never in her life had she thought she would ache for a child so much.
A tear slipped down her cheek. He sighed gruffly, aching inside as his gaze dropped to study the table. He hated seeing her cry. It was so effective because she rarely did it. He hated knowing he was the one who made her cry. Deep down inside, if George was truthful to himself, he knew he wanted a child. Maybe more than one. But he knew he wouldn't be a good father. He was too busy and could not even be responsible for himself, let alone someone else. He looked up at Julianna and saw her silently wiping away more tears that had fallen. She lifted her gaze from the floor and met his eyes with hers for what felt like a century.
His belly clutched at those wet eyes glistening painfully in his direction. Slowly he stood up, scraping the chair back against the floor. She watched him, tears still falling slowly down her cheeks, creating wet trails. He walked to her and stood in front of her before he moved his arms to her and pulled her to him. She wrapped one arm around his back and the other one around his neck before she buried her face in his shoulder. He sighed as he surrounded her with his body, cradled her, and pressed her bottom gently against the counter.
"I love you." He murmured. She squeezed her eyes closed, trying to fight the tears. "I know you want a baby very badly. Deep down inside, I feel the need for one myself." He said, and felt the surprised tensing of her body. "But I wouldn't be a good father. I don't want to be away from you ever. And when we are both acting on separate ends of the continent, the world, we can't do that to a child. We can't pull them between us. And I don't want to cause any extra tension between you and I. I love you, Julianna, and don't want to lose you for anything. Not even a child that could be. You're too important to me. I know this is important to you, but...I don't see how it could work." He paused. "I promise I will think about it, though, for you." He said. She pulled her face back and he immediately brought his hands up to wipe at the tears that were still coming down her face.
"Can I say one thing?" She asked. He smiled and pressed his mouth to hers gently.
"Of course." He murmured. She finally slowed the tears down and sniffled her nose quietly.
"We can always make sure that the two of us aren't doing movies at the same time on separate sides of the world. I know that sometimes there will be movies we both want to do at the same time and that we will have to be far apart. But I know that having a child would be more important to me than any movie, so I could compromise and just stay home. But, remember, being away is only twenty-five percent of our life anyway. We're not on ER anymore, so we both have more time for movies and can space them out." She took a deep breath. "I really want a baby, George, and if you do too, I don't see why we can't work it out." He sighed.
"You missed your calling. You should have been a lawyer." He said. She smiled and leaned her head foreward so that their noses and chins both touched. "I promise you I will think about it. Think hard about it."
"Promise?" She asked.
"Promise." He said and touched his lips to hers to seal the deal.
"Thank you." She murmured. He nodded and ran his hands through her hair.
"Now, how about we go practice on making babies, just in case I decide I want to try for a real one." He said. She laughed slightly and hugged his neck.
"We need a lot of practice." She joked. He laughed and plucked her off her feet to carry her to the nearest place where he could get her out of her clothes.
-------------------
Nearly a week later, Julianna was giving up hope. George hadn't brought the subject of a baby up since that day in the kitchen and she just knew he was putting it off, hoping she had forgotten. But she hadn't and it hurt her deeply to know he was deliberately avoiding having that conversation. Deliberately avoiding telling her that he didn't want a baby after all.
Julianna sighed a little as she thought of this and pushed her way into the house. After she shut the door behind her and turned, she noticed the faint glow coming from the end of the hall. She couldn't see anything because there was a turn in the hallway, but she wondered what was making that soft light. She knew George was home and wondered what he was up to.
Julianna slid out of her shoes and hung her coat up in the closest before she headed toward the light. When she walked around the corner, George was nowhere in sight, but she noticed the light was a bit brighter in the dining room. She walked toward it and turned, looking at the table. It was set beautifully, and Julianna's breath caught in her chest. He had lit candles, the source of the soft light, and had set flowers on the table between two settings of her best china. She simply stared at the table, unable to think of any reason why he would have set this up for her.
Suddenly his arms slid around her waist and he cradled her back against his chest as he brushed his lips over her ear. She was a bit startled, as she had been in La-La Land and had not been paying attention to anything but her racing thoughts and the beautiful table.
"Hey baby." He murmured.
"What's all this?" She asked, craning her neck around to look at him. He smiled.
"Well..I know I am a typical male and I do all the typical male things on special occasions...Like birthdays and anniversaries. But I realized that I had never really done anything special for you, out of the blue, for no reason. So..I decided to make a nice dinner and we could eat over candlelight.
"You made dinner?" She asked. He chuckled.
"Barely. The house almost blew up." She grinned. "But I managed to make spaghetti and breadsticks and I threw a salad together."
"Wow." She said. He chuckled.
"Yours is better, of course, but it's the thought that counts." She turned in his arms and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I love you." She murmured against his mouth as she kissed him. He swayed a bit with her in his arms and smiled against her mouth.
"I know. I love you too." He said. "Let's eat." He pulled away.
They ate his salad, breadsticks, and spaghetti as they laughed and talked over the candles and good china. They flirted, which they still did three years into their marriage. Every now and then he would reach across the table to play with her fingers and they would exchange soft smiles. Julianna's heart beat slowly, thickly in her chest and she was amazed and awed at how much she could still love this man even after all this time. She had thought she loved other men, but it had never compared to what she felt for George. And it never faded. It just grew stronger with every day that she knew him. And it made her want to cry with happiness to know that he felt the same way about her, in return.
She studied the gorgeous lines of his face and the darkness of his eyes. He smiled at her as they finished up their meal.
"Did you enjoy it?" He asked. She smiled.
"More than you know." She murmured. He smiled.
"There's more." He said, a secret ness sweeping through his voice. She raised her eyebrows.
"Oh?" She asked. He grinned.
"Would you like to dance, Mrs. Clooney?" He asked. She smiled widely and nodded.
"I'd love to, Mr. Clooney." He grinned and stood, holding a hand out for her. She placed her hand in his and stood, walking with him as he crossed into the living room and to the CD player. He pressed play and she realized he already had a CD ready and waiting. He turned as soft music filled the room and pulled her gently against him.
He slid his hands up her arms and moved them so they surrounded his neck. Then he slid his arms down and circled her waist, holding her gently close to him. She sighed softly, happily, as she looked up at him.
"You continue to dazzle me." He said quietly. She smiled slightly.
"And you continue to suck up." She teased. He grinned and bent, brushing a soft kiss across her lips.
"You know me well." He said and then grew serious as they swayed to the music. "I'm serious though. Everything about you dazzles me. Your eyes, your smile, your laugh. Even when you are upset with me for one thing or another, you still dazzle me. The way you love me dazzles me." Julianna stared up at him, captured by his talk. She knew that if they weren't married and they had only known each other for a day, she would have fallen in love with him anyway, just because of what he said. Who he was. "It's unbelievable to know that I somehow deserve your love. Or maybe I don't and I am just a lucky man." He paused. "I just want you to know how much I love you and how much I will always love you." Tears shined happily in her eyes.
"Oh, George. I'll always love you too." She kissed him. "You always shock me when you do stuff like this." She said, blinking the tears back. He chuckled and cuddled her closer.
"I hope when our baby arrives that if it is a girl, she will be just like you. Or if it is a boy, he will be lucky enough to fall in love with someone just like you." George said. Julianna's mouth had fallen agape moments ago when he had said baby.
"What?" She whispered, finally getting over the initial shock. She stared into his eyes.
"I want to make a baby with you, Julianna. Tonight. Right now." He murmured.
"Are you...Are you sure?" She asked, still surprised. He smiled.
"Very much so. I've always wanted to have a baby....your baby, but I always figured I would be a bad father. And I probably will be. But I don't think I should deny you a child just because I am not sure about my reliability as a father." He said.
"Are you sure you really want a child though and that you aren't doing it just for me?" She asked.
"I promise that I want this for you, but that I want it too. I want our baby, Julianna. Make him or her with me now." He said and kissed her gently. She got caught up in the kiss as she cupped the back of his head and held him close. Finally she pulled her lips away from his for just a moment and whispered.
"Yes." He quickly scooped her up off the floor and into his arms so he could carry her up the stairs and make their future.
-------------------
A month later George walked into the house, wondering if Julianna was home. He knew she had said she had to run some errands and so he wasn't sure if she would be back yet. He hoped she was. He hung his coat up in the closet and took his shoes off before slowly padding down the hallway. He walked into the kitchen and smiled when he saw Julianna sitting at the kitchen table.
"Hey babe." He said and reached for the refrigerator door. Then he froze as he saw she was crying. He went quickly to her and dropped to his knees in front of her. "What is it, Jules, what's wrong?" He asked, staring up at her face. Another tear slid down her cheek. He reached up and took her wet cheeks into his hands. "What?"
"Oh, George.." She murmured.
"Tell me what it is, Julianna." He said, his concern for her continuously growing when she wouldn't tell him. Suddenly her face lit up in a huge smile.
"Oh, George..It's...I...The most wonderful news." She said. Relief flooded through him.
"God, you scared the hell out of me." He wiped a tear away. "What is the wonderful news?"
"I'm pregnant." She said. His eyes lit up.
"Really? You're sure?" He asked. She nodded.
"Positive!" She threw her arms around his neck. "I bought three different pregnancy tests." She laughed a bit. "I was a day late for my period and so I had to know now. They were all positive!" He kissed her.
"Oh, wow." He murmured and pulled her out of the chair and into his lap." He pulled her away a bit and looked down at her flat stomach. "There is really a baby in there." He said as he stroked a hand over her tummy.
"A teeny tiny one." She said. He grinned and bent down, nuzzling her belly.
"Wow." He murmured, amazed at the love he already felt for the tiny life growing inside his wife.
"I need to call the OB and make an appointment so I can start taking vitamins and make sure everything is alright." She said.
"Okay." He said and stood, scooping her up in his arms. She laughed and hooked her arms around his neck. "You shouldn't strain yourself." She laughed.
"I think exercise is good for the baby." She said.
"Not this baby." He replied and kissed her. She laughed as he picked up the phone. He handed it to her. "Do you know the number?" He asked.
"It's the same number for my gynecologist." She said.
"Good." He replied and walked with her into the living room. He sat down on the couch and continued to hold her in his lap. She smiled up at him before quickly dialing the telephone number for the doctor's office. She placed the phone against her ear.
"Hello. I'd like to make an appointment with Dr. McKinnon." She paused. "Julianna Margulies.....As soon as possible, please." She waited for a moment, all the while staring up at George with a happy smile on her face. "Yeah, yeah, Thursday at 4 o'clock is perfect. Thank you. Good-bye." Julianna hung up the phone and looked up at George before she wrapped her arms around his neck.
"I love you." He murmured. She kissed him.
"And I love you, George."
-------------------