May 4-8, 01.

xo-xo-xo-xo

Julianna sat alone in the study, her head bent, weeping softly. Her hands were crossed over her abdomen as if she was trying to hold something inside, which in a sense, she was. This pregnancy made her happy, no...thrilled. It thrilled her to know she was carrying a child, a part of her and George, something she loved already. But her heart ached for the other two babies she had once carried. Every day she tried to get past the sorrow and some days it was easy to ignore, but others, such as today, the other babies were hard to forget about. Or at least to try to forget about. She knew she never did....or would.

George opened the door leading from the garage and into the hall. He walked down the hall, slipping his jacket and sneakers off before putting them away. He placed his keys on the table and walked through the house, looking for Julianna. He was about to head upstairs when he saw the light on in the study. George walked to the doorway and saw Julianna sitting alone at the computer, her head bent.

"Jules?" He asked. She lifted her head just slightly. She had known he was home, had heard him come in. "What's wrong?" He asked, dropping to his knees in front of her and taking her face into his hands. Her cheeks were wet with tears and he began to panic. "Jesus Jules, what is it?" He asked, wanting to shake the answer from her. She lifted her hands and touched his wrists.

"George.." She whispered hoarsely.

"What is it?" He whispered fiercely, fearing the worst.

"Look." She murmured and pointed to the computer screen. On it was a diagram of a fetus...more specifically a nine week old fetus.

"I see it." He said, looking back at her. She touched the key pad on her lap top and the little mouse icon popped up. She moved her finger until she came upon a link. She clicked it and another picture filled the screen, this time it was an ultrasound picture.

"9 weeks." She said. He nodded.

"That's how far along you are." He said. She nodded. "Why are you crying?" He asked. She let out a mixture between a hiccup and a sigh.

"I was 9 weeks along..when..Last time."

"Oh Jules." He said, his fingers tightening around her face, bringing her back around to look at him.

"Why me?" She murmured, staring into his eyes.

"C'mere." He said, managing to pick her up against him. He sat on the couch and cradled her in his lap. "Jules, I know this is hard for you. I understand that because it's hard for me too." He said. She buried her face into his neck and shoulder, taking comfort from his voice and his embrace. "But you have to...get past it. I know, I know it's hard. God, I know it is. But...I need for you to be healthy and happy and take care of yourself for this baby." He said, placing a hand on her stomach. "We have to work hard so we can make sure nobody decides to take this one either."

"You mean so that I don't lose another baby?" She asked, sitting up slightly, her face angered. He wrapped his arms tighter around her waist so she couldn't escape his grasp.

"No, that's not what I meant Jules."

"I can't even grieve for my other children?" She asked, her voice hard.

"Jules, listen to me, okay?" He asked, his own face pained. She fell silent, somewhat distanced from him, even though she was sitting there on his lap. "I know how hard it is for you to lose the babies because I was there, remember? Maybe...maybe you have it harder because you carried them...I don't know. But that doesn't mean I loved them any less or I wanted them any less than you did. We lost the two of them, but we have another one coming. I know it would break our hearts if we lost another one and it cannot be healthy for you to sit at home, alone, and cry. I need for you to be happy." He paused, lowered his head. "Maybe it's just that I want to prevent you from feeling any pain and I can't. If I could, I would, but I can't and I know if you get depressed it wouldn't be healthy and then something could happen and even more pain would be brought upon you. Upon us. I would hate for that to happen. Maybe I'm being selfish, but....I love you and our babies too much." She lifted his face with her hand and he saw that her eyes were watering with tears.

"You're a wonderful man, do you know that George?" She asked. He managed to smile slightly and brought his warm strong hand up to cup her face. "I love you for trying to protect me." She kissed him gently. "Thank you." She said. He smiled and she lowered her head to his chest, snuggling into him. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her snugly against him.

"I love you, Jules."

"I know. I love you more." She said and grinned. He chuckled.

"I don't know about that."

"I do." She said.

"No, I don't think you do. I love you more. Definitely." He said as they argued playfully, back to their usual banter.

xo-xo-xo-xo

A week later, Julianna was lying in bed, her shirt pulled up under her breasts and her stomach exposed. George walked into the room, coming out of the bathroom and looked at her on the bed.

"What're you doing?" He asked, laying on his stomach on the bed beside her.

"I'm growing." She said. He nodded, delighted and laid his hand over hers, which was resting idly on her abdomen.

"And you know what?" He asked, looking at her. Her gaze shifted until she met his.

"Hm?" She murmured.

"You've never been more beautiful." He said. She grinned then, her face flooded with pure pleasure from his comment. Then she looked back at her stomach, their hands entwined there.

"When I was 10 weeks with my first pregnancy, I didn't start getting bigger this soon." She noted.

"All pregnancies are different, including your own." He said. She nodded.

"My little bump." She murmured affectionately. He chuckled and bent down, kissing her stomach. "I'm scared of becoming too attached, y'know?" She asked, looking back at him. He nodded, resting his chin on their hands.

"Me too." He replied. It relieved her to know he was scared right along with her.

"I don't want to feel that pain again, George, but I feel that I'm cheating this baby by not loving it enough."

"You love it enough. I know you do." He smiled. "You might have reservations, but you don't love this baby any less than the other two. You're scared....So am I. It's understandable, Jules. But believe me, your love for this baby is already stronger than a lot of children see in their lives." He said. She nodded and reached up with her other hand, touching her stomach lightly. She lay quietly, content to listen to his breathing and content to just be there with him.

"People are going to start taking notice soon." She said.

"Yep." He replied.

"If I'm growing bigger already, it'll be sooner that they will start to notice." She said.

"Are you okay with that?" He asked. She nodded.

"Yes, I'm just scared that maybe once people know...something will happen to the baby. And then everyone will have to know about this baby too. For some God given reason they didn't find out about the second miscarriage but they did the first one. I don't want that pity again." She said.

"You talk like it's going to happen, like you're going to have a miscarriage again." He kissed her stomach before shifting up to come face to face with her. "I refuse to believe it. We're going to have this baby and love it. Appreciate it even more now." He kissed her lightly and smiled. "And don't argue with me." She wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled.

"Yes sir." She murmured and leaned up, kissing him again. He deepened the kiss and sparks lit inside of her. Every time he kissed her it happened. She hoped to God that that feeling never wore off.

xo-xo-xo-xo

"Hey Rach." Julianna said as her sister entered the kitchen. George had let her sister into the house. Julianna's back was facing her sister as she cut up tomatoes for their lunch.

"Hey Jules. How's the baby?" Rachel asked a grin on her face. Julianna turned then and smiled back at her sister.

"He or she is fine."

"Holy shit." Rachel said. Julianna's brows drew together. George entered the kitchen, just in time to hear Rachel's comment.

"What?" George and Julianna said at the same time.

"You're big." Rachel said.

"Well thanks!" Julianna said, pretending to be offended but rather pleased.

"Did I really just see you a week ago?" Rachel asked, placing her purse onto the counter beside the tomatoes.

"What're you talking about?" Julianna asked and turned, continuing her chopping.

"You're what, 17 weeks?"

"Mm hmm." Julianna replied. George took a Pepsi out of the fridge and popped it open, taking a long drink.

"When I was 17 weeks pregnant with both of the kids, I was never that big."

"So? Your point is?"

"Are you sure you're only 17 weeks?"

"Yes, I'm sure. I think I would know." Julianna said, grinning. George chuckled and pulled out a stool across from the women. Rachel let out a sigh.

"When's your next appointment?" Rachel asked.

"Today, why?" Julianna asked.

"Call me when you get back, I wanna see what they say." Rachel said. Julianna turned, looking at her sister with a puzzled look.

"What for?" She asked.

"Just call me, okay?" Rachel said.

"Alright." Julianna said, looking at George. He shrugged.

"When was your last appointment?"

"When I was 8 weeks." Julianna said.

"Why so long ago?"

"I had to cancel my last appointment and then Dr. Mitchell didn't have any extra time. That was two weeks ago. She called though to make sure everything was going good. I told her it was and she said to call me if anything happened. She didn't sound concerned. Why are you?"

"Nothing.....I'm not concerned, I just think I know something that nobody else knows about.." Rachel paused. "The baby." Julianna looked up at her sister, her face alarmed.

"What?" Julianna asked.

"Nothing. Just call me after your appointment."

"What the hell, Rachel? What are you talking about?" Julianna asked, turning to her sister. Rachel smiled.

"It's nothing to be worried about. Really. Don't get yourself worked up about it. I just want you to call me and I want to see if I was right."

"Rach..." Julianna said helplessly.

"Don't worry!" Rachel said sweetly as she picked up her purse. She began to dig through it.

"Here's the number for that place you asked about. That, uh, baby store." Rachel said, handing Julianna a piece of paper. She put her purse over her shoulder. "Remember to call me." Rachel said, breezing out of the kitchen.

"Rach!" Julianna called after her.

"Bye!" Rachel called back and they heard the door shut behind her. Julianna turned and looked at George, her eyes wide.

"Well, that was interesting." George stated.

"What do you suppose she knows?" Julianna asked. He shrugged.

"Beats me."

xo-xo-xo-xo

"You okay?" George asked, holding Julianna's hand as he opened the door of the doctor's office. She shook her head.

"I can't stop thinking about what Rachel said." She said nervously.

"She said herself that it wasn't anything for you to worry about. Don't let her bother you." George said. She nodded and he knew she wouldn't forget it. He kissed her cheek gently, wishing he and only he could reassure her, but thanks to Rachel she was scared as hell. "It'll be alright." He said. She nodded briefly as they walked up to the desk.

xo-xo-xo-xo

Dr. Mitchell walked into the exam room where Julianna and George were waiting. Julianna was laying on a bed, the kind they had in exam rooms and she was freezing. The table with the thin paper covering was no source of warmth. George was holding her hand, trying to keep her warm and rubbing the goosebumps from her arm.

Dr. Mitchell had a clipboard under her arm and when she saw the two of them, she raised her eyebrows, studying Julianna's stomach.

"Hey guys." She said.

"Hi." They chorused.

"How have you been Julianna?" Dr. Mitchell asked.

"Good. Great actually." Julianna said, beaming. Still she couldn't keep her stomach from rolling nervously.

"Refresh my memory. How far along are you again?" Dr. Mitchell asked, even though the clipboard she was looking at told her.

"17 weeks, give or take a couple of days. Why?" Julianna asked, her voice immediately on guard.

"Oh...just checking." Dr. Mitchell replied. "Have you been taking your prenatal vitamins?"

"Of course." Julianna said, still slightly suspicious.

"Any problems? Anything especially bad, like the sickness?"

"No." Julianna said. Dr. Mitchell looked at George who confirmed with a nod.

"Good. Ready to see your baby?" Dr. Mitchell asked, smiling. George squeezed Julianna's hand briefly.

"Definitely." He said, speaking out for the first time besides his greeting to the doctor. She grinned and moved towards Julianna. Within seconds the gel was applied and the paddle was on Julianna's abdomen. The machine was flicked on. Julianna let out a gasp as the baby's heartbeat filled the room.

"Ah, I suspected as much." Dr. Mitchell said, finding the right spot on her stomach. Julianna and George looked at her, their faces slightly alarmed.

"What?" Julianna asked.

"Hear that?"

"Hear what?" George asked, he and Julianna looking back at the screen.

"If you listen, you'll hear how the heartbeat is sort of fast and maybe a little off beat." Dr. Mitchell said.

"Oh God, something's wrong." Julianna muttered, her face turning pale and her hand tightening against George's.

"No, nothing is wrong. Everything's wonderful in fact. Do you see that?" Dr. Mitchell asked, pointing to two different marks on the screen.

"Yeah..." Julianna trailed off.

"Those," Dr Mitchell paused, "Are your children." George and Julianna's jaw drops.

"Children?" George asked.

"More specifically, your twins." Dr. Mitchell said, smiling.

"My God, there's two of them." George whispered before turning to look at Julianna. She looked stunned as she met George's gaze with her own.

"Twins?" She managed weakly. He nodded and they stared at each other, communicating with their eyes. Dr. Mitchell sat back and watched the two of them, somewhat amazed by their understanding. It was truly like they were talking to each other without making a sound. She'd never seen that with any of her other patients before. Suddenly the two of them broke out into huge smiles, their faces alight with joy. Dr. Mitchell watched as George pressed a quick, though meaningful kiss to Julianna's lips. Then they both turned back to the screen, staring at their children.

"They look to be non-identical. Separate sacs."

"Wow." George whispered and reached out, touching the screen slightly.

"Can you see anything else?" Julianna asked.

"You mean the gender?" Julianna nodded.

"No, not yet. Normally with twins it takes a bit longer to tell because they are somewhat smaller."

"Wow." George grinned. "I still can't believe it."

"Rachel!" Julianna suddenly exclaimed. George turned to her and nodded.

"She knew." George said. Dr. Mitchell looked at the two of them, an odd expression on her face. Julianna turned to the doctor.

"My sister wanted me to call her after I left here because she wanted to know if she was right. Of course she worried me to death. But she must have known 'cause she couldn't get over how big I'd gotten in a week and how big I was for 17 weeks." Julianna said. "Ooh, I'm gonna have to hurt her now." She said, grinning.

"She must've realized it, too. So did I." Dr. Mitchell said. Julianna turned and looked at George.

"I love you." He said. She squeezed his hand.

"I love you too." She replied, smiling widely before the two of them looked at the monitor.

xo-xo-xo-xo

"Hello?"

"You knew!" Julianna said loudly into the phone. She heard Rachel's laugh on the other end. Julianna was sitting in the car and had called her sister as soon as she had closed the door of the car behind her.

"I knew what?" Rachel asked.

"That I was having twins!" Julianna said.

"I didn't know you were having twins, exactly, I knew you were having multiples though."

"How in the hell would you guess that?" Julianna asked.

"You were huge, beautiful, but huge and every woman I've seen with only one child and being 17 weeks pregnant was not that big. But my friend Linda, you've heard me talk about her and her twin sons Evan and Ethan? Well, I'd seen her at 17 weeks too, so I figured it out myself."

"You had me worried to death. I could throttle you for that!" Julianna said. Rachel chuckled.

"I didn't want to tell you because I wasn't completely certain and besides, it'd ruin it for you at the appointment." Rachel said.

"Well, I guess I'll forgive you."

"So how do you feel about it?" Rachel asked. Julianna smiled and looked at George who was driving along.

"I'm thrilled." Julianna said, grinning. George turned to her and smiled, showing his own excitement openly.

"And George?" Rachel asked.

"Do you have to ask?" Julianna said. Rachel laughed.

"He's thrilled too, I take it."

"Definitely." Julianna said, smiling away.

xo-xo-xo-xo

Julianna sat down on the couch and watched George move about the room before he took a seat beside her.

"Hey." She murmured. He grinned.

"Hi Mommy." He said. She smiled widely and reached out, touching a tuft of his hair that was sticking out of place. She tried to smooth it down but it stayed in place.

"How do you feel about it?" She murmured to him, not meeting his gaze, instead looking at his hair. He could tell she was nervous, even though he thought she knew how he felt. The look they had exchanged when they found out and in the car when he was talking to Rachel, she seemed like she thought he was happy about it. But now she was showing how she really felt in the privacy of their home. He reached up and touching her cheek, directing her face downwards so that his eyes met hers.

"Do you really have to ask?" He asked. She stayed silent, staring into his eyes. Then she nodded just slightly.

"I need to know." She whispered, her voice hoarse. He sighed and bent his head just briefly.

"I could tell while looking at you in that exam room how you felt when we looked at each other. It was as if I could read your thoughts. I knew exactly how you felt, that you were thrilled. And I thought that was mutual. I know I was expressing my feelings in that exchanged look and I thought you knew me well enough to be able to tell that I am so happy. I am....ecstatic." George said. She bowed her head, somewhat ashamed.

"I...I knew, it's just that...." She stopped.

"You needed reassurance." He said. She paused then nodded.

"Yeah." She murmured.

"You shouldn't be unsure about me, Jules. If we were having 10 children at once I would be thrilled. Maybe it would be as hard as hell, but what I'm saying is that I love our children. Each and every one of them." He said, lifting her chin up. "Do you understand?" He asked gently. She nodded. He smiled. "Do you realize we have four children together?" He asked. Her mouth opened slightly and then she nodded and let out a little laugh. She leaned into his embrace and began giggling.

"We're having two." She said. He chuckled and kissed her jaw.

"Twins." He said.

"Twins." She repeated. She pulled back from him and her eyes sparkled.

"You and Doug are similar in more ways then we thought." She said. He chuckled.

"As are you and Carol." He said. They smiled and kissed quickly. He lifted his hands and she took them into her own, entwining their fingers together, their forearms pressed together. He kissed her fingers delicately.

"Two girls? Two boys? One of each?"

"Two girls." He said. She giggled.

"Why?" She asked.

"Two little Jules running around." He said. "Can you imagine all the curls?" She groaned.

"I'd feel bad for the poor girls." She said. He laughed.

"What for?" He asked.

"'Cause I remember all those curls when I was younger. Boys like to pull them and tease you about them. They did me."

"I love your curls, Curly." He teased. She punched his shoulder playfully. He chuckled.

"What about names?" He asked. She froze. Unfortunately for her, he noticed. "Jules.." He trailed off, his hand on her face gentle.

"I'm sorry, I.." She paused and looked up at him and he saw the tears in her eyes.

"Aw, baby, I'm sorry...I didn't mean to upset you." He said. She shook her head and rested it into his shoulder.

"It's just that..." She paused and started over. "I've thought about it before and we never named the other two. And..I don't know, it's....We never got a chance.....I.....For some reason I am ashamed that I didn't, or...something. I don't know." She buried her face further into his neck and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Do you want to?" He asked, feeling the tears against his neck. She shrugged.

"I don't know." She trembled. He hugged her closer.

"If you want to, we can. We know they were both boys." He said. He felt her sob against him. This was really bothering her. "We don't have to." He held her until she settled down and was merely hiccuping in his arms. She pulled away from him and he immediately began wiping his face with her hands.

"It's like they don't have any identity." She said.

"Yes they do. Their our children, Julianna. To us, they'll always have an identity. Would you love me any less if my name was Fred?" He asked. She shook her head. "See, it doesn't really matter. If you want to name them, we can. If you don't, we won't." He said.

"What do you want?" She asked softly, her voice unsteady from her crying spout.

"I want what you want." He said. She shook her head, frustrated.

"No, really, George. What do you want?" She asked. He smiled grimly.

"I don't care, really. It doesn't matter to me. Either way they will be our babies." He said. She nodded and lowered her head, biting her bottom lip in thought.

"I think I want to." She murmured and looked at him.

"You think?" He asked. She shook her head and looked at him.

"No, I do." Julianna said. He took her face into his hands gently.

"Run your ideas past me." He said. She shook her head.

"I...I don't know, George." He smiled.

"Julianna Margulies, don't you dare lie to me like that." He said. "We both know you've named them both already." He said. She blushed slightly.

"I have not." She said. He grinned.

"I think you have." He said. She smiled.

"Okay, so maybe I sorta did." She said. He chuckled.

"Tell me." He said.

"Andrew Nicholas was the first baby. I, uh, I had picked it out before I even knew if he was yours or Rons. Actually, before I even knew he was a he." She grinned. "But..I wanted something to go by if he was or even wasn't yours, so I picked out your Dad's name for his middle name. I figured it wouldn't be to obvious if the child was Ron's. That he might not figure it out." She said. He chuckled.

"Always a thinker." He said. He pressed his lips to her forehead. "I think the name suits. Andrew Nicholas." He smiled. "I love it." She beamed.

"You do?" She asked. He nodded.

"And your other idea?" He asked. She grinned and nodded slightly.

"Jackson Matthew." She said.

"Hmm." He considered this.

"Andy and Jack." He chuckled. "I think that's great too."

"Really?" She asked, somewhat surprised.

"It fits. Andy and Jack, original and manly." He said. She laughed. "So what about the twins?" He asked.

"I haven't thought that far ahead yet." She said.

"Well, run some ideas by me. When you picked out Andrew Nicholas you must have picked out a girl name also." He said. She shrugged.

"Madison Eve." She said. He laughed shortly.

"How do you do it?" He asked.

"What?" She asked.

"Come up with the most beautiful names on Earth?" He asked. She grinned, somewhat shy. He chuckled.

"Maddie. Maddie, Andy, Jack, and baby number four." He said. She giggled.

"I like how the nicknames just pop out of you." She said. He smiled.

"It's funny that I do that with everyone, but yet, I don't have anything to make out of my name except maybe Georgie." He said. She had to laugh.

"I like nicknames." She said. He nodded.

"So I guess there won't be any George Juniors." He said. She laughed.

"No, no juniors period." She said. He chuckled.

"Have you thought of any other names?" He asked. She shrugged.

"Not for another girl." She said.

"What about a boy?" She grinned.

"Owen Michael." She said.

"Owie." He said and laughed. "Sounds like he tripped and fell." She grinned. "But you know what? That does have a certain ring to it. Owen, Jack, Andy, and Maddie. But, I don't think Michael works."

"What then?"

"James?" He suggested.

"Owen James." She said, rolling it off her tongue, trying it out.

"You know what? I do believe that works." She said, grinning at him. He smiled.

"We also need to pick out another girl name and another boy name, in case we happen to have two of each." He said.

"You chose. I chose Andrew, Jackson, Owen, and Madison. I want you to pick too." She said. He chuckled.

"If it makes you happy." He said. She smiled and nodded, touching his cheek.

"It will."

"Alright then. Olivia." He said.

"Olivia." She sounded out the name and tipped her head to the side. "Livvy?" She questioned. He shook his head.

"Nope, Ollie." He said. She laughed.

"Owie and Ollie. Can you imagine?" She asked. He laughed.

"Nope, maybe we should re-think putting those two together." He suggested. She nodded.

"Olivia and Bob or Owen and Madison." She said. He laughed.

"That's it, we'll name him Bobby Junior." George teased. She laughed.

"Nah! Pick a boy name." She said.

"I don't know any good ones like you do." He said.

"Sure you do. Think." She said. He shrugged.

"Dylan Christopher." He said. She laughed.

"That's perfect. See, all you had to do was think a little bit." She said. He laughed.

"I could be dangerous if I thought hard enough." He joked. She grinned and leaned her head against his.

"Owen James, Dylan Christopher, Madison Eve, and Olivia what?" She asked.

"Jo." George said.

"Olivia Jo." She grinned. "Her nickname could be orange juice."

"Still, it fits don't you think?" He asked.

"Owen James, Dylan Christopher, Madison Eve, and Olivia Jo." She nods.

"Yep, it fits. Except we won't use Olivia and Owen together, right?" She asked.

"Right. Besides, our first choice for a girl name is Madison, right?" She nodded. "And our first choice for a boy is Owen, so if we have one of each that will be it, correct?" He asked.

"Correct." She replied.

"Let's try it out. Owen and Dylan. Madison and Olivia. Or Madison and Owen." He said. She grinned.

"I can't believe we thought of all those names just now. In one night. I thought it would take us years to think of one name, let alone two." She said. He grinned.

"Well, believe it. We're more alike than we think." He said. She smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

"I love you, George." Julianna murmured. He smiled.

"I love you too. And you two." He said, placing a hand on her stomach. She giggled softly and nestled her head into his shoulder and neck as she rested against his chest.

xo-xo-xo-xo

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