Carol awoke in her bed with the sun pouring over her warming her like hot chocolate. She smiled slightly and stretched like a cat but before she could stretch all the way, nausea hit her like bricks. She thrust herself out of bed while covering her mouth. She threw herself onto the bathroom floor near the toilet and reached clumsily for the sides to hold herself up. When she was finished she stood up weakly and ran a washcloth under some cool water. She wiped off her mouth and then her forehead and face. She looked in the mirror at her reflection and groaned. She turned her eyes away so she wouldn't be able to scrutinize herself. She filled up the cup beside the sink with cold water and took a sip. She washed away the sour taste in her mouth and sighed. She finally looked up at herself in the mirror and leaned in for a closer look. She noticed the bags under her eyes and ran her finger lightly over the purple marks. She knew these were from many nights spent thinking about Doug, alone without her in Seattle, and not sleeping. She sighed and got herself a towel. She turned the water in the shower onto hot and waited for it to heat up. She stood with the shower curtain open slightly and let the steam envelope her. She turned the heat down to just the right temperature and shed her clothes quickly. She stepped under the showerhead and let the water cascade over her chest massaging her body like thousands of little fingers. She put her face under the stream of water and reached blindly for the washcloth and soap. She lathered up the soap and then scrubbed her face, hoping to shed away all the unwanted sorrow.
She finishes up her shower and grabs for her towel. She wraps it around herself and steps out into the coolness of the bathroom. She shudders slightly and begins to dry off quickly. Wrapping the towel around her body, she steps into her room and gets out some fresh undergarments, and a pair of sweats. She goes to get a t-shirt of hers but stops. She slowly turns around and walks to one of her drawers and opens it cautiously, as if something is going to pop out at her. She reaches down and touches one of the t-shirts Doug had left behind. She slowly brings it out and holds the soft cloth up to her face. She breaths in deeply and smiles slightly at the smell of him. She cradles it to her face before she drops the towel and pulls it over her head and onto her body. She smiles as she dresses herself the rest of the way. She's glad she doesn't have to go into work until later that afternoon.
o--------o--------o
Carol sighs and pushes her way into the ER. She goes into the lounge and puts her stuff into her locker and heads out to the nurse's station to start her day.
o--------o--------o
Carol is sitting in the lounge with her head back on the couch. Mark walks in banging the door against the wall snapping her back to reality.
"Oh sorry Carol, I didn't know you were in here." Mark says.
"It's okay Mark. I was just resting my eyes." Carol says.
"It's not really my place to say Carol, but you look like hell." Mark says, getting himself a cup of coffee offering her one. She shakes her head.
"I feel like hell too." Carol says. He sits down across from her in a chair.
"What's wrong?" Mark asks taking a sip of his coffee and making a horrible face.
"I've been throwing up these past few days and I get terrible headaches." Carol says.
"Do you want me to take a look at you?" Mark says.
"Would you?" Carol asks.
"Yeah sure. Do you have any ideas of what it is?" Mark asks. Carol looks at him and is silent before she nods slightly. He just looks at her with a questioning look on his face.
"I think I'm pregnant, Mark." Carol says. His mouth drops open.
"Now?" Mark asks. Carol smiles weakly.
"Perfect timing huh?" Carol asks sarcastically.
"I..I uh don't know what to say." Mark says shaking his head in disbelief.
"You don't have to say anything. Mark.....I really need to tell Doug and I want to do it in person but it's not really a good idea to travel in the first trimester, is it?" Carol asks.
"I wouldn't recommend it." Mark says. Carol nods knowingly.
"Yeah. I know. So I guess I'll just have to call him." Carol says, smiling sadly. "I just want to see his reaction. We waited so long for this baby Mark and now..why now?" Carol asks.
"I don't know what to tell you Carol, although I think you should let me get a urine or blood test before you start jumping to conclusions." Mark says.
"Okay, but Mark, I know. I'm pregnant." Carol says. He nods understanding.
"Just let me get one first okay?" Mark asks. Carol nods.
"Can we do it now? We're both on break and the sooner the better." Carol says.
"Sure. If you want." Mark says.
"I want to take a urine test, it's faster." Carol says. Mark nods and stands up, Carol following him.
"Well I hope everything works out for you in the end Carol," Mark says and hugs her. She hugs him back and smiles.
"I'm glad you're here with me." Carol says. He smiles and they walk out together.
o--------o--------o
"Carol, would you come with me please?." Mark says coming up to the desk. She nods and walks away with him to the lounge.
"Did you look at it?" Carol asks, referring to the chart he is holding.
"I know that the patients aren't supposed to read their own tests, but I figure since this doesn't have your name on it, I'll make an exception. Besides, I think you should know before I do, considering I'm your friend before your doctor." Mark says. Carol nods and takes the file. She opens it and scans the page for the result. She nods her head slightly and closes the file.
"Bingo." Carol says softly. He smiles.
"Well, congratulations." Mark says. She nods.
"Thanks for everything Mark." Carol says.
"What are you going to do about the whole Doug situation?" Mark asks.
"I've been thinking about it and I'm going to call him and ask him to come back. I don't know what he'll say but it's just for a visit so maybe he'll come." Carol says. Mark nods.
"Good luck. Now go home. Your off in five minutes and we're not busy. So go. Call him." Mark says.
"Well, I want to call him now, while I still have my courage up. Will you stay in here when I call him?" Carol asks.
"Do you really want me to do that?" Mark asks, skeptical.
"Actually, would you call him for me, and kinda just talk to him for minute. Then I'll take it. I just want him to..I don't know what I want but will you please?" Carol asks. Mark nods slowly.
"If that's what you want." Mark says.
"Yeah. Please. He's probably at his apartment by now because it's pretty late, so just let me get the number." Mark looks at her as she rustles around in her purse for it.
"Carol, why do I get the feeling that you already know the number?" Mark asks. Carol straightens up and turns to him. She smiles.
"Your right. I do. It's obvious isn't it?" Carol asks. He grins.
"Not to others maybe, but to me, yes." Mark says. She giggles. She turns towards the phone and walks nervously to it. Mark follows. She sighs deeply and picks up the phone.
"Don't leave a message if he's not there." Carol says. Mark nods. She dials the number and quickly hands him the phone. He waits a few seconds.
"Hey Doug..it's Mark." Mark says and gives Carol the thumbs up sign. She smiles nervously and puts her hand on her stomach which is fluttering nervously.
"I'm just calling to see how you're doing buddy." Mark says. "That's understandable.......Mmm hmm." Carol looks at him and nods. He nods. "Doug, hold on one second okay? I need to get something really fast." Mark says. He listens for a second then hands Carol the phone. She sighs nervously. Then she shakes her head and holds the phone out to Mark. He shakes his head and she presses her lips together then raises the phone to her ear. She listens to him breathe for a second.
"Hey Doug." Carol says, pressing her hand up to the side of her head, looking down at her feet. Silence on the other end for a few seconds.
"Carol?" Doug asks, chuckling slightly.
"Yep. It's me." Carol says. He chuckles again and she can't help but smile at the sound of his chuckling. Something she has missed a great deal.
"Is there a reason Mark just called me and then gave you the phone?" Doug asks.
"I'm chicken." Carol says. He chuckles again and she smiles at Mark. He turns to walk out. "Thank you." Carol calls after him.
"For what?" Doug asks, confused.
"Oh, sorry, I was thanking Mark for being my hero." Carol says. Doug chuckles again.
"So..uh, how are you Carol?" Doug asks.
"Um..well actually I'm fine, but I have a request." Carol says nervously. Her stomach flops and she places her hand on it, again.
"What's that?" Doug says.
"I understand if you say no." Carol says, fidgeting with her shirt.
"Well what is it?" Doug asks.
"I want you to come back..just for a visit." Carol says quietly.
"I..uh.." Doug stutters.
"Wait, before you say anything hear me out. I wanted to come to you to visit but something uh came up and I can't come. But I really would appreciate it if you came, because it's really important." Carol says.
"What is it?" Doug asks.
"Well, I want to tell you but I can't. Not over the phone. So, do you think..." Carol asks.
"I..yeah I could probably arrange that." Doug says.
"Even if it's only for like one night or something. I just need to talk face to face with you," Carol says.
"Okay, we'll I'm going to call the airport and see what I can do. Are you at home or work?" Doug asks.
"Work. But I'm going home now." Carol says.
"Okay, well...I'll call the airport, then I'll call your house in lets say about an hour. Is that alright?" Doug asks.
"Yeah, that's fine. Thank you Doug." Carol says.
"No problem. It sounds important." Doug says. Carol nods.
"Yeah it is. So...I'll talk to you in an hour then. Right?" Carol asks.
"Yeah. Bye." Doug says.
"Bye." Carol replies and hangs up the phone. She pats her stomach gently and smiles. She gathers her stuff from her locker and walks out of the lounge to see Mark at the desk.
"Hey Mark?" Carol asks.
"Yeah?" He asks turning around.
"I'm going home. I need to know when do you get off?" Carol asks.
"Not til 6 in the morning." Mark says. Carol smiles.
"Good luck. Um..if I call you here, do you think I could talk to you real quick. I know were not supposed to have personal calls but I promise it'll only take a minute. If I even call you, okay?" Carol asks.
"Is everything alright?" Mark asks.
"Yeah. He's supposed to call the airport, then call my house in an hour and depending on when he'll be here, I may need to take a "personal" day." Carol says.
"Okay, I understand. Just call me here." Mark says.
"Thanks Mark. I appreciate everything." Carol says.
"Your welcome." Mark says.
"I'll see ya." Carol says and walks out of the ER.
o--------o--------o
Carol is sitting on the couch, watching a bad romance movie, but not really concentrating on it. She is thinking of Doug and how to tell him about the pregnancy and what to do after he knows. She sighs and rubs her temples, trying to relieve the headache she has. She sighs and jumps when the phone rings. Her heart pounds, when she realizes it's probably him. She picks up the phone.
"Hello?" Carol asks.
"Carol. Hi." Doug says. Carol smiles.
"Hey Doug." Carol says.
"Well, I called the airport.." Doug says.
"And?" Carol asks.
"I'm there right now and my flight leaves in a half hour." Doug says. Carol laughs.
"Already?" She says.
"Mmm hmm. I hurried over here after I called. I should be there early in the morning. Like around 6. Is that okay?" Doug asks.
"Yeah, I'll make sure to be up." Carol says.
"Okay, and I got tomorrow and the next day off, but I have to fly back that night. So I'll be able to stay two days and one night. Is that okay? If it's not, I can always leave earlier." Doug says.
"No, that's fine." Carol says and smiles again.
"Okay, well then, I'll see you then." Doug says.
"Bye. Oh and Doug?" Carol asks, risking her happiness.
"Yeah?" Doug answers.
"I love you." Carol says, he smiles.
"I love you too Carol." Doug says. He hangs up and cannot wipe the smile off his face. She calls Mark and let's him know she will be taking the next two days off. When she hangs up, she sighs and smiles to herself. She turns off the TV and all the lights and makes her way to the bedroom slowly in the darkness. She flips the lamp on beside her bed and climbs in. She pulls the covers up to her chin and says a silent prayer. She reaches over and sets her alarm for 5:30 and flips off the light, settling into her bed, laying her hand protectively on her stomach. She falls asleep almost instantly.
o--------o--------o
"BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP."
"I hear ya, I hear ya." Carol says and reaches over from under the cover and slaps off the alarm. She settles back under the covers but her eyes pop open as she remembers who's coming that day. She jumps out of bed and hops into the shower. She brushes her teeth and dries her hair and gets dressed. She puts on her jeans and a comfortable spring sweater. She goes out into the living room and sits nervously on the couch. She flips on the TV and sighs. She breathes in deeply wondering why she's so nervous. After all this is the man she loves with her whole heart. She sighs and runs her fingers through her hair. She pats her stomach nervously.
"Hey baby. Your daddy's coming to see us. I guess your nervous too, huh?" Carol asks and chuckles lightly to herself. She settles back into the couch and tries to focus on the movie.
o--------o--------o
Doug parks the rental car on the street. He looks up at the house and sighs nervously. He looks in the mirror to check his reflection. He gets out, shutting the door quietly after grabbing his single bag from the backseat. He slowly walks up the steps and sighs deeply. He reaches his hand out and nervously knocks on the door. He hears her rustling around inside and then the door opens and she smiles.
"Hey." Carol says.
"Hi Carol." Doug says. She smiles widely and he can't help but smile back at her. She steps aside and he comes into the house and sets his bag down near a chair. He turns back to her and smiles nervously. She can't help herself and she reaches up and hugs him. He chuckles as he holds onto her. She smiles and giggles happily. When he pulls away from her she kisses him quickly and smiles. He smiles back and chuckles again. She looks around and then pulls him to the couch. She sits and faces him.
"Doug...I just need to say some things, so please, just let me talk first before you say anything." Carol says. He nods. "I want you to know that I've thought a long time about everything that's happened with the whole Ricky Abbott thing. I've thought about it, ever since you said you were quitting. After you left, I realized that I understood exactly why you left. You left for the same reasons I was staying. Your job was going down the drains at County and I know now how much your job means to you, working with children and everything. My job is great here at County. I'm good at what I do and I know how to do things around here. I'm a good nurse. I stayed because of my job and you left because of yours. Also, I stayed for my friends. I have friends here. I know everyone. And I know you left because you didn't have friends here anymore. Also, my family. My mom is so stuck on Javier now that I don't really have any family here. Which I didn't really realize until after you were gone. See, the only thing that made our decisions hard was each other. I wanted to go with you and you wanted to stay with me, but neither one of us would sacrifice the rest of our lives for that, so I stayed and you went. I'm not angry at you. I was at first, but I realized it's just as much my fault as it is yours. So, I just wanted to let you know that I don't blame you for it. I just didn't want to say all of it over the phone. I wanted to tell you that to your face." Carol says. Doug nods slowly and then he smiles.
"Carol, I want to apologize for leaving the way I did. I know that I didn't really give you that much time to process all of it. I told you one day and left the next. I'm just glad you understand why I left and I'm glad that I know now why you stayed. And I'm really glad that you have forgiven me too. I don't think I could live if you hated me for leaving you." Doug says. She takes his face into her hands.
"I don't hate you Doug. I love you." Carol says. She leans forward and presses her lips to his, in a passionate kiss. He wraps his arms around her waist and can hardly contain his happiness. When she finally pulls away from him, he chuckles and she giggles happily. He wraps her in his arms and hugs her tightly. She pulls away from him and smiles.
"What?" He asks.
"There's something else. I have to tell you why I couldn't come to Seattle." Carol says. His face gets serious because he thinks something might be wrong.
"Why?" Doug asks. She holds back her smile.
"I'm not allowed to travel." Carol says. He gives her a confused look.
"Why not?" Doug asks.
"Mark told me I'm not allowed." Carol says. He just gives her a more confused look.
"Mark? Why, is work busy?" Doug asks.
"No, he told me as a doctor, not a boss, that I'm not allowed to travel." Carol says. Doug just stares at her for a few seconds with a confused look on his face. Then his face slowly lights up.
"Are...are you..." Doug's voice falters.
"I'm pregnant with your baby Dr. Ross." Carol says and finally smiles. He laughs.
"Your...your really pregnant?" Doug asks. She nods happily. He gathers her into his arms. "Wow." He says and laughs. She laughs with him and hugs him close to her. She never wants to let go. Suddenly he pulls away from her and gets a sad look on his face. She notices the look and knows what he's thinking. She puts her hands on the side of his face and lifts his head up so he makes eye contact with her.
"I'm coming with you." Carol says. She has fully gotten his attention.
"To..to Seattle?" He asks, hardly believing her.
"Yes. Doug...I...to be honest, I probably wouldn't have even called yet if it wasn't for this baby." Carol says. Doug looks down. But she pulls his head back up to look at her. "But that does not mean I am going with you for the baby. I've been thinking...I've known I was pregnant for about a week. At least I guessed I was when I was sick every morning and had headaches and skipped my period but I just got it confirmed by Mark yesterday. So I've been thinking all week. Since you've left, I let myself believe that you didn't love me, that's why you left. When I became pregnant, I realized that I would never be in this position if you didn't love me. I have a baby, our baby, growing inside of me because I love you so much. It took this baby to make me realize how much I need you in my life and how I can't live without you anymore." Carol says. Doug smiles slightly.
"Well then, I'm glad this baby came at this time. Cuz I need you with me too Carol. I love you baby." Doug says and kisses her. She smiles happily and kisses him back.
"I can't travel until after my first trimester, so I'll go to the doctor's sometime soon and ask her when it will be okay for me to travel and then as soon as it's okay, I'm moving up to Seattle to be with you." Carol says.
"I don't think I can wait that long" Doug says. Carol giggles.
"You have too." Carol says. He nods slowly then leans in and kisses her pulling her on top of him as he lays down.
o--------o--------o