December 10, 2004 - February 6, 2005
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This is my continuation of Doug and Carol's kiss on her front porch in the season three finale, "One More for the Road."
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Home. It was all Carol could think about as she stood on her front porch with her arms wrapped tightly around Doug's waist. He held her head gently between his hands and a moan slide from deep in her throat straight into his mouth. She shivered against him and he slid one arm down to surround her and pull her closer, thinking she was chilly in the night air. But that wasn't it at all. She felt like she was finally coming home now that his arms were back around her. She belonged there. Carol burrowed closer; not wanting to come up for air and find out this was all a dream or just a mistake. She couldn't face him, so she stroked his tongue with hers and shivered once more. Passion threatened to overwhelm both of them, so Doug had to stop or he was going to take her right there on the front porch. He pulled her back, but kept one hand on her face, tilting her chin up so she would look him in the eye.
"Carol," he murmured and her lips curved up in a slight smile.
"Come inside, Doug," she said. He stroked his thumb under her eye.
"Are you sure?" He asked. "I didn't come here for that, or even for this, really, I just…"
"Come inside, Doug," Carol repeated quietly. He smiled slightly and bent his head, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of her mouth.
"Okay," he said and let her go so she could unlock the door. He followed her in to the house and watched her take off her coat. He couldn't help but watch her body move in that little black dress she was wearing. She glanced at him over her shoulder and saw the look in his eyes. She turned back around quickly, her heart fluttering. She knew that look, God, she knew it. It had used to make her melt. Still did, she thought to herself and reached behind her to take off her necklace.
"Would you like some coffee?" Carol asked, turning around to face him once she got her necklace off and placed it on the stand beside the couch. He shrugged.
"Sure. I probably don't need it, but I'll take some."
"Want me to make decaf?" She asked and headed to the kitchen. He took his coat off and threw it over the back off the couch.
"Whatever you want," he replied quietly and followed her. She lifted an eyebrow at him quickly and then turned to the coffee maker. She went slowly, needing some time to settle down. Her heart was still pounding in her chest from that kiss on the porch. She didn't want to admit that she was nervous, not even to herself. When she couldn't stall anymore, she turned to face him.
"So," she said quietly and looked at him. He didn't say anything for a moment, so she barreled on, unable to stand the silence. "Why are you here?"
"I just wanted…" He paused, and leaned back against the counter to watch her. "I don't even know, Carol, I… I saw you leaving work in that dress and my mouth just went dry," he confessed. She swallowed, staring at him. "And I had to just find out."
"Find out what?"
"If you were serious about Toby." She didn't say anything, so he continued on. "It made my stomach turn a little to think about him peeling that dress off of you," he said and shook his head. "Sorry."
"Doug, no offense, but it's none of your business who I choose to sleep with," she said.
"I know that," he said, "That's why I came over."
"You're not making any sense, Doug," she said as the coffee pot gurgled behind her and the aroma of the coffee lifted into the air.
"What we had a long time ago, Carol," he paused, frustrated with his inability to talk to her about what he felt. "Back then, I wasn't ready for it. I wasn't ready for everything you had to offer me," he said. "I was a drunk, Carol," he admitted and it surprised her. "I was a player. All around, I was not a good guy, and I can see that now. And I can see what I did to you and I regret it." He stared at her. "I know now that I had a good thing and I ruined it. It had nothing to do with you, it was all me. I was… I turned into my father, something I promised myself I would never do. But I did." He smirked at himself and looked down, studying his shoes. "The apple doesn't fall far from this tree, I guess," he muttered. Carol swallowed hard, wanting to tell him that he wasn't his father, but she honestly didn't know. He had never really talked to her about his father, though she knew the general story.
"Doug," she started but he cut her off.
"No, Carol, I need to tell you this," he said. She nodded and stayed across the kitchen from him. "I was a complete shit to you back then and I know that. But I've changed." He stopped and shook his head. "God, that sounds so cliché, but it's true." He looked back up at her. "I haven't had a drink… or a… woman for seven months," he said. "Ever since Nadine Wilks…" He stopped. "When that happened, I finally realized that I was never going to get anywhere in my life with that; with what I was doing. I know it's only been seven months, but I've figured out things and settled down. I don't expect you to believe me, but I…" He met her gaze. "I want to have the chance to show you. I don't necessarily think you will give me that chance, or should, but I'm here to find out. You said it's none of my business, and it's not, but I would like to make you, your life, my business. I'd like to let my life be your business; all of my life." He barreled on before she got the chance to answer. "That's why I'm here. I never actually planned on kissing you or anything more than that. I just wanted to talk. I just needed to tell you… everything." Carol stared at him, watching his face. She saw that he was openly putting everything out on the table. He wasn't lying to her. She knew his lies; she'd suffered through them for two painful years. Suddenly she was aware that the coffee maker was quiet, so she turned around, put her back to him to gather up the pot. He dropped his chin to his chest, feeling defeated.
"I know you told me seven months ago that you weren't going to play my games anymore. I understood that Carol. But I'm not playing anymore," he said quietly. She handed him his mug of coffee and walked past him, still silent. He stared down into the dark liquid for a moment before he turned and followed her. He watched her take a sip from her mug and wrap her hands around it. She turned to him.
"Just say the word, Carol, and I'm gone." He said, knowing she was going to tell him to go. He looked away from her and cringed, waiting for it. He didn't hear her place her mug on the coffee table but he heard her walking towards him. She reached for his mug and took it away from him and placed it on the stand beside her necklace. She looked up at him, her face near his.
"Don't go," she whispered. She wasn't sure if she was making the right choice, but all she knew was that right now she wanted him. She wanted him to be there, with her. She wanted to take what he was offering and she'd think about the consequences later. She stepped forward and lifted her lips to his. As soon as their lips made contact, he reached for her and dragged her close. She wrapped her arms around his neck quickly and stood on her tiptoes to meet him. She nipped at his bottom lip before she darted her tongue out over it to sooth the area she had just used her teeth on.
"Carol," he groaned and settled his hands on her hips.
"I want you, Doug," she said and slid her hands under his scrub top. She tugged his dark shirt out from his pants and slid her hands under the two shirts so she could feel his skin against her fingers. She turned around, tugging him towards the bedroom.
"Carol, wait," he said, even as she tugged his earlobe with her teeth. He held her still with his hands on her hips. "I want you to be sure," he said, "I don't want you to regret this."
"Doug," she said and slid her hands around to cup his butt and press her pelvis into his. He moaned again.
"Carol, if we do this, I'm not leaving," he said as she dragged her tongue down his neck. "I won't get up and walk away, not like before. If we go in there, I'm not coming back out, not tonight," he said.
"I don't care, Doug, I just need you now," she said and began tugging his shirts over his head. As soon as he was free of the clothing, he had his hands around her waist again.
"Don't regret this, Carol," he begged. She didn't answer, just led him into her bedroom. He hoped she wouldn't regret it.
"Touch me, Doug," she breathed. He reached his hands under her dress to cup her butt, but he couldn't touch her skin because she had panty hose on. She leaned against him and reached down with one hand, pulling off the straps of her right shoe. She switched legs and tugged the other one off. She hiked up her dress and reached to pull her black panty hose off.
"Wait," Doug said and placed his hands over hers. She looked up at him and met his gaze. "Let me do it," he said quietly. She dropped her hands and watched him. He kneeled in front of her and pulled on her panty hose. The dark material slid down her thighs, exposing her smooth, milky white skin. He sighed and pressed an appreciative kiss to her inner thigh. She trembled and touched one hand to the top of his head for balance. He tugged the panty hose down farther. She stepped out of them and kicked them aside. He slid his hands up her calves and gently tickled the backs of her knees for a moment before he slid his hands up the back of her thighs. "What are these?" He asked, smiling as he exposed her lacy black panties. He lifted her dress high enough so he could nibble along her hip.
"Doug," she murmured. He pressed his lips to her center. "Doug, I can't stand up much longer," she said. He chuckled low in his throat and stood up, wrapping his arms around her.
"Kiss me, Carol," he said. She lifted her mouth to his and slid her arms around his neck. He pressed into her so she walked backwards until the backs of her knees hit the edge of the bed. He pressed her down onto the bed and laid his heavy weight over her as he settled in between her legs.
"Are you sure?" He asked as he pulled his lips away from hers. She looked up at him for a moment and then she nodded. He lowered his head and buried his lips into the skin under her ear. She arched her neck back, giving him access. He slid one hand up over her thigh and stroked her body until he reached her breast. His fingers rested against the bare skin just above the top of her dress. He stroked the skin there and she murmured against his lips.
"Carol?"
"Mm?" She murmured as he stroked his hands over her.
"I love this dress," he said. She opened her eyes to look at him. He kissed the skin above her dress where his hand had just been. "It drives me crazy," he said. She reached up, wrapping her left hand around the back of his neck. "When I saw you today leaving work," he trailed his tongue over her chest, "I lost my breath." He lifted his head and looked down into her sleepy eyes. "You're gorgeous." She grinned a little.
"You might like this dress, but I need you to get it off of me. Now," she said. He chuckled and pressed his lips to hers quickly.
"Hot?" He asked. She lifted her hips and pressed them against him. His eyes crossed.
"Yes," she answered. She rolled over, offering him her zipper. He slid it down slowly and pressed kisses along her back as he did. He tugged on her dress and she slipped her arms out of it so that her shoulders and upper back were exposed. He trailed his tongue over her shoulder bones.
"Lovely," he murmured and tugged her dress down farther until it was settled around her hips. He pressed an open mouthed kiss to her lower back. Carol sighed. He sat back up and pulled her dress all the way off. He tossed it gently to the floor and reached up to unhook her strapless black bra. She lifted up so he could pull it out from under her and he tossed it to the floor, too. Then he gently rolled her over. He sat up and looked down at her. She looked like an angel with her curls spread over the pillow, her smooth pale skin exposed to him, and a sexy little grin upon her lips.
"You have no idea what you do to me," he said and leaned over her to press a searing kiss to her lips. She wrapped her arms loosely around his shoulders. He pressed his naked chest against hers and she sighed at the texture of him. His mouth trailed to her ear and then nibbled lower, lovingly kissing her neck. He traced her collarbone with his tongue as her fingertips danced lightly over his back. His mouth slid down and he nipped gently at the skin on the side of her breast. She gasped a little at the roughness of it, but sighed when he slid his tongue over the abused skin to relieve it. He swirled his tongue around her nipple and she trembled in anticipation. He finally took her into his mouth and suckled gently. She moaned and dug her nails into his shoulders. He settled there for a few seconds before moving his mouth lower. He kissed a small freckle she had below her right breast and then kissed his way down her flat belly. He dipped his tongue into her belly button and moved to the skin beside it. He nipped gently and sucked for a moment, leaving a little mark of his behind him on her skin. He wanted her to see it later and remember what he had done to her.
He finally moved lower and pressed another open mouth kiss to her hip. She shuddered and moved under him. He grinned, remembering that was a sensitive spot. He moved lower, pressing his lips to her inner thigh once more. He moved to the other thigh and then slid his tongue up to outline her black panties. She moaned deep in the back of her throat. He sat up a little, taking hold of the lace and slowly peeling it off of her body. He tossed the panties to the floor with her other clothes. He kissed around her center, teasing her. She wiggled under him, lifting her hips and making soft little noises with her throat. He pressed his face into her thigh for a moment, desperately trying to hold on to his control.
"Please," she said softly and he couldn't have stopped himself if he wanted to. He stroked his tongue over her a few times and she shuddered, her thighs clenching around his head as an orgasm shimmered through her. He watched her come back down to earth and he settled in beside her, not yet on top of her. When the shudders finally stopped she opened her eyes to look at him, surprised he was no longer on top of her.
"Doug?"
"I don't have a condom," he said.
"I'm on the pill," she replied.
"I don't want you to worry," he said. "I'm clean."
"I know," she said and believed him. Even if she couldn't really trust him in some aspects, she knew he would never hurt her like that. "Me too." He slid back over her.
"I promise I won't leave this time, Carol," he said and she opened her legs wider, wrapping herself around him. She didn't want him to talk, not now, especially not about this.
"Doug," she shifted up, pressing her center against him. He clenched his teeth for a moment.
"Carol, keep your eyes open," he said. She stared at him. "Watch me," he said and sank slowly into her. She moaned and arched into him, but held his stare. He didn't move yet, just resting inside of her.
"You can trust me," he said quietly. She only nodded and didn't reply. He knew she didn't trust him, but he knew he would have to show her. He moved inside of her and they groaned together. Her eyes slid closed, but he stopped again. "Open," he whispered. She opened up and looked at him. He moved again, sliding in and out of her. "I love this, Carol, I love what you do to me," he said. She tightened her legs around him and lifted up to meet him. Her fingernails scraped down his back as he quickened the pace. He lowered his head to kiss her as she matched his tempo beat for beat. He groaned and dropped his forehead to hers. Their eyes stayed open and on each other's, despite Carol's desperate wish to close them and just focus on the pleasure he was bringing her. Finally her eyes crossed with the pleasure and another orgasm ripped through her, even as he continued sliding into her.
"Carol," he murmured and she reached down between their bodies and ran her fingers over the area where their bodies met. He groaned, dropped his head to her shoulder, and pushed into her one last time as he emptied inside of her. Carol stroked her hands down his back, and he turned his face into her neck. He sighed.
"God, I missed that," he said. She chuckled under him and he kissed her neck quickly before lifting his head. "You're are so beautiful." She felt a slight brush creeping up her neck. He chuckled and bent his head, pressing his lips against hers. She kissed him back before he slid off of her, and turned on his side. He pulled her snugly against him and she smiled up at him. He wrapped his arm around her waist as she yawned.
"Go to sleep," he murmured. She looked at him and he saw the apprehension in her eyes. He reached down, pulling the covers over them as he snuggled into the pillow. He would just have to prove to her that he wasn't going anywhere. He couldn't convince her, so he'd have to show her. "I ran all over the city looking for Charlie tonight, I know I'm going to sleep," he said. She continued looking at him, even after he closed his eyes. "Goodnight Carol," he murmured.
"Goodnight," she whispered and stared at him for a few moments before she slid her eyes closed, wanting to find peace in sleep.
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A few hours later, Carol awoke to feel a heavy arm lying on her stomach. She froze and her eyes popped open, as she wondered who was in her bed with her. When she saw Doug's sleeping form wrapped around her, she smiled, feeling her heart rate slowing back to normal. She studied him, amused by how he looked like a little boy in his sleep. His face was relaxed and peaceful. She ran her fingertips lightly over his forearm as she stared into his face.
She was lying on her back with her face turned towards the left. He was lying on his right side and stomach, his head facing her and his left arm draped over her. Their legs were slightly tangled under the covers. Carol wiggled her toes and relished the sated feel she felt in her entire body from the sex.
It had been ages since she had such great sex. Doug had always been the best, she thought and smiled. Even when she was with Tag and Shep, she would catch herself fantasizing about Doug sometimes. She hated herself for it, but it was the truth.
Carol's smile faded as she studied Doug. She really was shocked that he was still there after three hours. She remembered a time when she used to wake up and find him gone, nearly every night. It had been a rare occasion for him to actually spend the entire night with her and when he did, it was usually because he had been drinking so much that he passed out. He would usually pretend to be asleep, or doze, and as soon as she was in a deep sleep, he would get up and leave her. She had hated him for that at the time. Even though he had said he was a changed man, she had still believed he would get up and leave. Maybe he still would, but he normally didn't even last this many hours.
Carol felt a sliver of hope enter her heart and she smiled, cuddling closer into Doug's warmth. Maybe he really was changed. Maybe this could turn out to be something really good. She sighed softly and snuggled in, turning her head into the pillow slightly. He snored lightly and she smiled, closing her eyes to go back to sleep. Maybe this time.
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