Feb. 24, 2001.
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Doug stood back behind a wall, barely breathing, not wanting to disturb the couple inside the medicine lock-up. Even though he was cautious, he expected if he started cheerleading without his pants on the couple still wouldn't notice him. They were deep in an argument and he was listening. He felt guilty but he had been worried about his friend lately. She wasn't eating, he could tell by the way she began to fill out her pink scrubs less than normal. She would come into work, bags under her eyes from not sleeping. He noticed things like that about her. He was beginning to suspect something was going on with her and her boyfriend, but when he questioned her she pasted a smile onto her sickly-looking face and told him he worried to much. He had shrugged it off in the beginning, but he knew he wasn't the only one noticing how awful she had looked lately. His other friends in the ER had commented about it.
Doug was bound determined to get to the bottom of this. So lately, he had been watching her more, when she didn't know he was looking. And whenever Dr. Nicholas Seers from ICU came down to talk to his girlfriend, Doug tried his best to listen in and catch as much as he could. He cared about her.
Carol.
God he cared about her. It just wasn't fair. Doug had only been working at County for about a year. In that time he had became extremely close friends with Carol and had fallen desperately in love with her. Without her knowledge, or anyone else's for that matter. Although he expected that Mark knew. Mark didn't say anything to him about it, but Mark knew. Doug was almost sure Mark knew.
"Dammit Carol, what do I have to do for you to show me some respect?" Nicholas asked, in the medicine lock-up, his voice heated.
"I don't know, Nick, you tell me." Carol replies, anger flashing in her green eyes. Nick grabbed onto her upper arms, yanking her closer until they were about nose to nose.
"What is your problem? I have been good to you. I haven't done or said anything that should make you talk to me this way." He says. Her body then slumped down, going limp in his arms, her head bowed. At first he wasn't sure what had happened and was relieved when she lifted her head. But then he stopped. She had tears in her eyes, her bottom lip trembled, and her chin quivered.
"You're a liar." She says and pulls herself out of his embrace and heads to the door. He grabs her wrist, pulling her around so quickly it startled them both.
"Why am I a liar?" He asks. She clenches her jaw tightly and closes her eyes briefly before she opens them to look at him.
"I know what you're doing. I know about Ann." Carol says and raises her eyebrows. He drops her wrist, his face suddenly paling. She ticks her head to the side slightly and looks at him. "We're through, Nick. I don't want you to come near me again. And I wouldn't suggest you even try to lie to me about it." Carol says, her voice hard but her insides as soft a mush. She feels like puking. Carol turned on her heel and headed out the door.
Doug heard her approaching and he immediately turned the other way, looking down at his chart. She passed him, not seeming to have even seen him, and he watched the back of her as she went into the women's restroom. He walked towards the door and leaned against the wall next to it. As Dr. Seers walked by, Doug shot him a nasty look, warning him to leave her alone. Nick looked down, away from Doug's gaze as he walked past. It took all Doug had not to pounce on him and beat the shit out of him for hurting her.
When Carol came out of the restroom, she was surprised to see Doug waiting for her, not knowing anyone had seen her enter the restroom. She smiled at him as best she could considering she had just emptied her stomach of her lunch.
"You okay?" He asks. She looks at him sharply, wondering if he heard what had been said in the lock-up. She studies his face briefly, but his face assured he hadn't heard. Or so she thought.
"Yep. I'm great." She replies with a smile. He gives her a look.
"I saw you head into there. Are you sure you're okay?" He asks. She sighs and nods.
"Yeah. I'll be okay." She says.
"What's wrong?" He asks. She shrugs.
"Nothing that won't fix itself." She says. He raises his eyebrows.
"Carol, let me come over tonight and you can talk. Tell me what's up." He says. She hesitates, really hoping for some peace tonight to get it all sorted. But she realizes if she is alone she will cry herself into a depressive state. She shrugs slightly and nods.
"Okay. You can come over. I don't know how much talking I'll be doing." She says. He nods.
"Okay, well, we'll see. I'll be over sometime tonight, alright?" He asks. She nods and smiles slightly.
"Alright." She replies, trying to put on a happy front.
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Doug rang the bell to Carol's house. He heard the inside door open and he waited until the main door opened and Carol's face peered out. When she saw it was him she smiled and opened the door wider, moving aside to let him in.
"Hey Doug." She says. He grins at her.
"Carol." He says, walking into the house, his ears immediately picking up on the soft music coming from the stereo. She closes the doors behind them.
"Coffee?" She asks. He nods.
"Sure." He answers, making himself comfortable by taking off his shoes and coat. He and Carol had hung out often, here at her house, and he knew to make himself comfortable.
"Cream and sugar." Carol says, a statement rather than a question. He follows her to the kitchen.
"You know me well." Doug says, grinning. She smiles at him, her head tilted slightly as she pours him a cup. He can see the faint redness in her eyes, telling him she had been crying. His grin faded slightly at those eyes. Those beautiful green eyes, splashed with sadness. He sighed softly as she handed him his mug of coffee, still smiling as she headed into the living room. She sat down on the couch, curling her legs up under her as she reached for her own mug of coffee, already on the coffee table in front of her. He walked over and took a seat beside her, sipping his coffee before placing it down in front of him.
"So, are you going to tell me what's wrong with you?" Doug asks. Carol grins slightly.
"Doug, I wish you wouldn't worry about me so much. There's nothing wrong." Carol says. He sighs and rubs his hand across his eyes slightly.
"So explain your weight loss. I also know you haven't been sleeping. You are always exhausted and you have bags under your eyes." Doug says. Carol's eyes narrow.
"You've been keeping tabs on me." She says. He shakes his head.
"No, Carol...you just look sick. I care about you and I don't want to see you hurt. I want to know what's going on with you so I can help." Doug says.
"I've been working out." She says trying to explain the weight loss. His face hardens but it passes almost as quickly as it came.
"You shouldn't lie to me, Carol." Doug says softly. Her face falls slightly, as she looks away, ashamed with herself.
"Doug, I.." She starts but he stops her with his voice.
"I heard you and Nick in the drug lock-up." Doug says. Carol looks up, her face angry, her eyes flashing.
"You listened in on our conversation?" She asks.
"I walked by and heard you arguing...rather loudly, I might add. And I was curious. So yes, I listened." He replies. She looks at him, her mouth agape. She stands from the couch and begins pacing.
"I can't believe you eavesdropped." She says.
"Carol, what happened? I know you. You haven't been taking care of yourself and I know it has to do with Nick. Obviously." He says. She stops then, her face crumpling as she sits back onto the couch.
"He cheated on me." She says simply. Doug nods.
"With Ann." He replies. She looks up at him, her face filled with hurt.
"How much did you hear?" She asks, her eyes wide.
"Everything after him asking what would he have to do for you to show him some respect." He says. She nods, closing her eyes and she falls forward, her chest against her legs, her head bowed. Doug leans forward instinctively, a hand reaching out to touch her elbow gently. A tear slipped out the corner of her eye. "Carol." He whispers.
"Do you really want to hear this?" She asks. He nods.
"I want to know everything." He says. She sighs and looks over at him. She sits up and turns towards him, drawing her knees up to her chest.
"About two months ago, I started realizing Nick didn't come home after his shifts. Not for about two hours afterwards. At first I didn't say anything, just figuring he was staying after for a few extra hours of work. Well, one day I called in to ask him if he wanted anything special for dinner since he was coming here after work. Mary, the desk clerk in the ICU, told me that he had left for home about an hour ago. Of course, I was worried sick, thinking he got in an accident or something. When he came home an hour later, I thought about questioning him, but I didn't, figuring he had been doing something important and that I should respect his privacy. Well, the next few times he wasn't home on time, I called the hospital and every time Mary told me he had went home. So, one night when he came home late, I asked him where he had been, that I had called into work asking for him. He told me that he was just out with the guys, having a beer. I believed him for awhile until I got sick of never knowing what days he would be home and what does he wouldn't. So, I asked him to start calling me if he was planning on going out drinking. He told me he would. Well, the day after I asked him...I was home. I didn't work that day but he did. He had left his cell phone on the kitchen table. So when it rang, I picked it up. It was a woman's voice. We did the whole 'who are you' conversation. I didn't even recognize her voice. But anyway, that's when I began suspecting it was a woman. Of course it had crossed my mind before, but I didn't let myself believe it until then.
"So..that was about a month ago. I went up to the ICU to ask Nick if he wanted to go on his lunch break with me. I asked Mary where he was and she looked really nervous. I had to press her to tell me he was down in an empty room. So I headed down there and I tried to get in the door. It was locked and I was slightly suspicious. I went back to the desk and I asked Mary if she had the keys because it was locked. She started sweating, feeding me some bullshit about having lost them. When I turned around to leave, I saw Ann Harding coming out of the room, followed by Nick. Luckily they didn't see me and I headed to the elevator. I knew then what he had been doing and I went to roof and had myself a good cry. For some God forsaken reason, I stayed with him a whole month. I stopped eating and I hardly slept because I was depressed. I always wondered if it was me, if I had done something wrong." Carol says, looking up at Doug's face. She can see the anger in his eyes.
Doug reaches out, taking Carol's hand into his and pulling her closer. She moves into his embrace, laying her head on his shoulder and begins to weep. He holds her, rocking her in his arms.
"Carol, you didn't do anything wrong. Nick's a bastard and he never deserved you." Doug says. She looks up, tears squeaking out her eyes.
"I didn't even love him. I just felt so betrayed. I think for the most part I stayed with him during the month that I knew because I wanted to see how long he would drag it out. I wasn't going to tell him I knew, but he kept pressing me this afternoon and it just came out." Carol says. Doug sighs.
"I'm glad you told him. You would have made yourself sick not eating and sleeping. You already have." He says. She nods and he pulls her to him again, letting her bury her face into his shoulder.
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Two weeks later Doug and Carol sat in the lounge at work, drinking coffee. Carol had gained a few pounds back, mostly because Doug made her go to lunch with him everyday at work and eat everything. She didn't mind, she felt better than she had felt in months. She felt free, not because she was single, but because she was rid of Nick. She had only seen him once since their confrontation in the lounge and she had ignored him, much to Doug's relief. She wasn't going to let him back in. Doug had a chance, or so he hoped.
"So, what're you doing tonight?" Doug asks.
"Um, not much." Carol replies. He nods.
"Well, I've got my first decent evening off in awhile. Wanna do something? Maybe get some burgers or something somewhere, catch a movie?" Doug asks. She smiles widely.
"Going to try and force cheeseburgers and popcorn down my throat?" She asks. He grins.
"You need some beef on that body." He says. She laughs.
"That's a very pleasant way to put it." She says. He chuckles.
"Well, are you up for it or not?" He asks. She grins.
"Sure." She replies. He smiles, his heart fluttering as he looks at her.
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Doug and Carol stumble through the door of Carol's house, laughing about something.
"God, Doug. I can't believe you said that." She says. He shrugs.
"The guy was so drunk he probably didn't remember it five minutes later." He says, still chuckling. She grins.
"Well, do you want some coffee?" She asks. He nods.
"Sure do, Buttercup." He says, grinning. She giggles.
"You never should have seen that movie. You're going to be calling me Buttercup until the end of time." She says. He laughs.
"Or maybe Sugarpie." He says.
"Oh Lord!" She says, moving towards the kitchen, grinning wildly. He chuckles and follows her, leaning against the counter as she begins preparing the coffee. They make small talk as they wait for the coffee to ready itself. When Carol hands him his mug, he takes a sip of it, nearly burning his tongue.
"This is hot stuff." Doug says. She rolls her eyes, the corners of her mouth turning up in a slight smile.
"Dumb ass." She teases. He chuckles slightly as he lowers his mug, setting it on the counter, his left hand still surrounding it.
"You look better." Doug says. She looks up at him, raising an eyebrow.
"What?" She asks.
"You look better. Two weeks ago you looked like death." He says, moving both his hands to his sides, leaning back on the counter. She smiles softly.
"I feel better. I mean.....not only do I feel healthier, I feel better about myself as a whole. I don't feel so used." She says. He grins slightly, moving closer to her.
"It's the Doug Therapy." He teases. She shrugs.
"If it wasn't for you, making me eat and taking me out to keep me company, I wouldn't be where I am now. Thank you, Doug." She says. He grins and moves closer still.
"You're welcome." He whispers, staring straight into her eyes. She stares back into his chocolate colored eyes and her breath hitches in her chest as she realizes he is still moving towards her. Inching closer, slowly. So slowly. Her heart thuds in her chest as she leans forward, pressing her lips against his. She sighs through his mouth and he swallows it up, the kiss soft and sweet. His hand came up to touch her hair, running his fingers through the soft curls above her ear. It was his turn to sigh. She finally pulled away, becoming aware of what they were doing.
"Doug..." She whispers. He shakes his head slightly.
"I'm sorry Carol, I..." He stops, looking at her. She smiles slightly, embarrassed.
"No Doug, it's fine." She says, looking up at him. He grins sheepishly.
"That was un-called for. I'm sorry, I've just been wanting to do that for awhile." He says. She raises her eyebrows in surprise.
"You have?" She asks. He chuckles, his cheeks flushing pink with embarrassment.
"Yeah." He says softly. She giggles slightly, surprising herself and him. He looks up at her.
"I'm sorry Doug." She says, bringing her hand up over her mouth as she continues giggling, looking at him. His face grows hotter. "Oh Doug, I'm....you're just....you're blushing. Bad." She says and bends at the waist in laughter, more from nervousness then amusement. He looks up at her, a grin spreading over his lips.
"What? You've never seen a guy blush before?" He asks. She nods, tears in her eyes.
"Yes, but just not you. I've never known you to be shy, Doug." She says. He chuckles.
"I do believe there are blood vessels in my face." He says. She giggles some more.
"I'm sorry." She replies, her hand moving back to her side, an amused smile upon her lips. He grins and looks down at his feet.
"Yeah, well...I'm sorry for kissing you." He says. Her grin widens.
"Why?" She asks. He looks up, surprised as he shrugs.
"I don't know. I guess because I hadn't planned on doing that and I caught us both off guard." He says. She nods.
"Well, you did catch me off guard but do you really plan kisses?." She asks, grinning once again. He smiles.
"Not really.." He says, his voice trailing off. She becomes serious now.
"Doug, I just....I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. Y'know? It's only been two weeks and as much as I've enjoyed your company, I don't think I'm ready for that just yet." She says. He nods.
"I know. I'm sorry about doing it, because I knew that." He says. She smiles, touching his cheek with her hand.
"Don't be sorry. It was nice." She whispers. He chuckles and unexpectedly pulls her into his arms. He hugs her gently and kisses her cheek.
"I better get going." He says. She nods, stepping away from him.
"Thanks for dinner and the movie." She says. He grins.
"You're welcome, Buttercup." He says. She rolls her eyes and groans.
"Oh no. Not this again." She says. He chuckles and steps away from her.
"I guess I'll see you at work tomorrow?" He asks. She nods.
"Definitely." She says.
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Doug and Carol continued to see each other outside of work every now and then, going on dates but never taking it seriously. Well, Carol tried not to and Doug pretended like he wasn't. But he hadn't kissed her again although he had thought about it numerous times. Carol felt herself growing closer and closer to Doug until it felt like they were dating only without the intimacy of lovers. She could talk to him about anything, her father, her mother, work. He always understood and never made fun of her. In return, she listened to him, his talk about his childhood and his father. They also had their fair share of good laughs, always teasing each other about one thing or another, but never taking that teasing to the level of hurt.
"Carol, Buttercup?" Doug asks from his position on the floor of Carol's living room. She looked down at him from her perch on the couch.
"Dougie?" She replies. This had become their ritual. He called her Buttercup on a frequent basis and she always made up another pet name for him off the top of her head. He grins.
"I do believe we are two of a kind." He says. She giggles.
"Two peas in a pod." She replies. He laughs.
"Buttercup and Dougie." He says.
"Lucy and Ethel." Carol says with a burst of laughter. He chuckles.
"I prefer Lucy and Ricky." He says. She giggles.
"Oh that's right. Some kind of masculine thing." She says. He grins and gets onto his knees, placing his elbows on the couch, his face just inches from her.
"I'm very masculine, thank you very much." He says. She grins.
"I'm sure it's the very truth Ethel, I mean Ricky, Ricky!" She says, laughing. He chuckles and his eyes widen.
"Oooohhh, I've got a good one!" He exclaims.
"What?" She asks.
"Kerry and her crutch." He says. They look at each other, wide-eyed before they burst into hysterical laughter.
"Doug, that's....horrible." Carol says, her side aching from laughing. He chuckles.
"I'll be the crutch!" He says. This throws her into another fit of giggles.
"Yes, I can see Doug Ross as a crutch." She says. He laughs and pushes his way onto the couch beside her. She turns on her side and he lays on his back, looking up at the ceiling.
"We're juvenile." He says. She laughs.
"Oh, but it's fun." She says. He chuckles.
"Yeah, I'd have to agree." He says, smiling. She grins as he looks up at her, her head balanced on her open palm. He looks up at her and before she can even think of what she is doing, she presses her lips onto his, holding them there. Their eyes lock and he stares up at her before she closes her eyes and presses closer to him. He reaches up with one hand, touching her cheek gently. They kiss sweetly, slowly, almost lazily. Both of them frightened to take it any further. Doug didn't want to push her. Carol didn't know if she wanted to let this happen, but before she could stop herself, she had slide her body over his and let her tongue reach out to caress his lips. He reaches up, pulling her head away from his gently.
"Carol..." He says.
"No Doug..." Carol says, trying to push her lips back to his again, not wanting the words. She just wants to feel. He pulls her away still, holding her head in his hands.
"I don't want to take advantage of you." He says.
"You're not." She says. He looks up at her.
"Carol....If you don't want this, you have to tell me now, or I probably won't be able to stop." He says. She looks up at him, her mind cloudy with want and need.
"Doug, I want.." She closes her eyes briefly. "I want you to make love to me." She says.
"And I want to, so badly. But I don't want you to regret this." He says.
"I won't." She promises him, although she's not sure what she'll feel in the morning. "Please." She whispers, her voice husky. He sighs, searching her face.
"Not here." He says. She slides off him and they walk to her bedroom, hand in hand.
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Doug woke up the next morning, Carol lying beside him. One hand reaches out towards him, but not quite touching him, and her other hand curled up to her chest as she slept, her chest rising and falling gently.
Doug knew she wasn't ready. Even though she had said she wouldn't regret it, he knew she did. Somewhat. Oh, sure, she enjoyed herself as much as he, but she hadn't been ready for such a step. And he knew it. But sometimes your mind couldn't control your body.
He sighed softly and shifted under the covers. He had to be at work in an hour. He slipped out of bed and walked towards the bathroom to take a shower, hoping she wouldn't mind.
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Carol woke to the sunlight streaming over her face. She stretched and remembering last night, opened her eyes to find the bed beside her empty. Oh no. He was gone. Just as Carol's stomach began to sink, she heard the crinkle of the newspaper. She sighed and laid in bed a minute, collecting herself before she crept out of bed. She tugged her robe over her t-shirt and walked out the door. She went into the kitchen where Doug was sitting, reading the newspaper and drinking a cup of coffee. His hair was damp, indicating a shower.
"Hey." He smiled at her. She tucked her rumpled hair behind her ear and smiled slightly.
"Good morning." She says, moving towards the coffee machine. He places the paper onto the table before folding it. He stood up, gulping the rest of his coffee before he put his mug in the sink. He then turned to her, her lips on her mug as she took a drink. He watched her, saw the hesitation in her eyes. He sighed softly and reached out, touching her arm with his hand.
"You said you wouldn't regret it. But I can see you do." He says. She places the mug down on the counter and looks back up at him.
"No, Doug. I don't regret it at all. I'm just not ready for that kind of relationship with you. Yet." She says. He nods. "Last night was.....amazing. It's what I needed. I needed you and you let me have you. But.....I don't think that I can..." She paused, closing her eyes briefly. "I need more time, Doug. I'm sorry." She whispers. He moves towards her, taking her shoulders into his hands.
"Carol, I plan to give you whatever you want. And if you want...or, or need more time, then I will wait." He says. She looks into his eyes, the gratefulness showing. "But, I hope you know that I'm sticking around and I intend to have you...completely, one of these days." He says. He places a short yet promising kiss on her lips. "I have to go to work now, but you think about it. I'll see you later." He says and he turns, walking out of the kitchen and into the living room. He slips his coat on and already having his shoes on, slides out the door, closing it behind him.
"Don't let me go, Doug." Carol whispers to herself before she turns, pouring her unwanted coffee down the drain. She just wasn't sure she could trust a man again. She had trusted Nick and he had broken that trust....hurt her. She and Doug were best friends and he knew everything about her. She knew he wouldn't hurt her, wouldn't break that trust she put in him. But for some reason, she couldn't let herself go.
She was scared. But not of Doug.
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Carol walked into work later that afternoon.
"Hey Mark." She said as she placed her things under the desk. Mark grinned at her.
"Hey Carol. Just in time." He said.
"Uh-oh, that doesn't sound good." She says.
"It seems that an El train has fallen off the track." Mark says. Her mouth drops open.
"But I just took the El." She says.
"Yes, it was a different El. I checked on that. And all those other people had to transfer over to your line, so that's why they kept it running." He says. She nods.
"Yeah, it was busier then normal." She says.
"Yep. Doug and Peter are on the scene." Mark says. Carol's heart jumped a bit. Doug was there? All of a sudden she had a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She was being ridiculous. Why was she worrying about Doug? She herself had went to some of the accident sites before. Doug would be fine. But she couldn't shake the gnawing feeling in her stomach.
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Doug heard a little boy screaming.
"I have to go get him." He told the firemen who were helping.
"Be careful. Here put this on." The fireman instructed, handing him a hard hat. Doug put it on and made his way into the wreckage. He crawled on his stomach, trying to locate the screaming child. He saw the blonde little boy, around the age of six, laying in the rubble.
"Hey Buddy. It's okay. I'm here." Doug says, smiling as best he can. The child whimpers.
"My leg."
"It's okay Pal. What's your name?" Doug asks.
"Jake." The kid replied.
"Well, I'm Doug. I'm going to get you out of here Jake." Doug says. The child nods, whimpering.
"My leg hurts." He says. All of a sudden Doug hears a crack. He looks up as dust begins to fly. Doug covers the boy's body with his own as the car begins to crash around him. The child begins to cry hysterically as Doug tries to shush him.
Then darkness.
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Carol stood at the desk, everyone waiting for the first patient. The MICU beeped and someone came on over the radio.
"County General can you read?" A man's voice said. Mark, the closest to the MICU picked it up.
"This is County, go ahead." Mark said.
"This is Chopper 47. We brought your doctors to the scene. We've got one of your doctors stuck under the rubble. We need an extra." The man's voice says. Everyone looks at Mark. Carol freezes, her body stiff and rigid, her mind running wild.
"Can you tell us who it is? Ross or Benton?" Mark asks.
"Ross." The man replies. Carol shudders.
"Okay, we'll have someone out there as soon as we can." Mark says.
"We're already on our way with the chopper. Just head to the roof." The guy replies.
"I'll be there." Mark says and hangs up the MICU and heads to the lounge. Carol follows him.
"Mark....Let me go too." She says. He looks at her.
"Carol, really, you shouldn't." He says, grabbing his coat.
"Please, Mark. He's my best friend." Carol says. Mark stops and looks at her. He nods.
"Okay, get your coat." He says. They rush out of the lounge and she grabs her coat from under the desk as they rush to the elevator.
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Mark and Carol rush toward the wreckage.
"Where is he?" Carol asks, her voice less controlled then she would have liked. The fireman looks at her.
"He's under there." He says, pointing to the end of the train which was crushed. Carol gasps and her eyes fill with tears. Mark pushes her out of the way gently.
"How long has he been under there?" Mark asks.
"He went in to get a little boy about 25 minutes ago. We've got most of the other passengers out. There's another team working on the other side, so we can focus on the doc and the kid."
Carol had her hand over her mouth, staring at the heap of metal. He couldn't have survived that. There was no way. She shook her head. She couldn't think like that. She had to hope. Dear God, don't take him away from me now.
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Carol waited anxiously as the teams got to work, trying to cut through the metal with their fancy equipment. She watched and waited, her heart pounding and her stomach churning. She bit her fingernails, a habit she had dropped when she was a child. She only did it when she was scared and nervous. And she knew she was both of those things. She had never been so scared in her whole life. He could be dead. She shook her head as if to clear herself of those thoughts. If he survived this she wouldn't know whether to kiss him and wrap her arms around him and never let him go, or to kill him herself.
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Carol moved towards the wreckage as the firemen went in, trying to find Doug and the little boy. She stood by Mark's side, her arms crossed over her chest in an attempt to stop biting her nails. She turned to Mark and he looked at her.
"They're going to be okay, Carol." Mark says. She shakes her head and turns back to the wreckage, biting her lip to keep the tears from coming. She watches as firemen disappear into the rubble. Carol watches a small stretcher as it is pulled out of the mess. Only it's not Doug. It's a little blonde haired boy who is crying for his mother. A flicker of hope lights up in Carol as she realizes the child is alive. Doug has a chance. She watches as two firemen walk out of the metal pile before she sees him.
Doug. Oh God. He was alive. He was walking slowly between two other firemen. Carol didn't know if she should laugh or cry. She opted for crying since she figured they would classify her as a lunatic if she laughed. And she was going to kill Doug herself. After she kissed him.
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Doug sat on the couch in the lounge, his head in his hands, trying to avoid the places where he had be scraped up slightly.
"Where's Carol?" He asks Mark. Mark shrugs.
"I don't know. She disappeared as soon as we got back. I think she went home. She was worried sick about you, Doug." Mark says. Doug nods and looks up at his friend.
"I slept with her last night." He states. Mark grins.
"That's the first time?" Mark asks, surprised. Doug nods.
"Yeah. But....she's not ready." Doug says. Mark's forehead scrunches.
"She's not?" He asks. Doug shakes his head.
"This morning she told me she wasn't ready for that kind of relationship with me. Yet." Doug says. Mark whistles lowly. "Seers hurt her bad, Mark. He cheated on her and now she can't even trust me." Doug says. Mark's eyes widen slightly.
"Nicholas Seers treated her bad?" Mark asks. Doug nods.
"Cheated on her with Ann Harding, up in ICU. You know that one nurse with the long blonde hair?" Doug asks. Mark nods.
"Yeah, I know who that is. Wow, I never knew." Mark says.
"Yeah, and you still don't. You can't tell anyone that I told you." Doug says. Mark nods.
"I promise bud. You should go see Carol. She seemed pretty upset." Mark says. Doug nods.
"I don't want to push, y'know? But I'm going to head over there anyway." Doug says. Mark nods as Doug stands.
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Doug rang the doorbell. He waited until he saw the door open and Carol peeked her head out. He smiled at her.
"Hey." He says. She doesn't answer him. His smile fades. She opens the door and steps aside, letting him in. She walks into the house and heads towards the kitchen. He follows her, not bothering to take off his shoes or coat. "Carol?" He asks.
"What?" She snaps. He looks at her in surprise.
"What's wrong?" He asks. She looks at him but doesn't answer.
"Why are you here, Doug?" She asks. He looks at her.
"Carol...I....I just wanted to come see you. I thought we could talk." He says.
"I don't want to talk." She says, sitting down on the couch. He moves to sit beside her.
"Okay....then we can just sit." He says softly. She looks away from him, staring at the floor as her eyes fill with tears.
"Carol? What's wrong?" He asks, reaching out to touch her. She pulls away from him, jumping up from the couch.
"You could have been killed today, Doug!" She says, pacing the floor.
"But I wasn't. I'm fine." He says. She looks at him.
"That's not the point." She says, staring at him, wild tears running down her face.
"What is the point then? I'm confused, Carol." He says.
"You almost died. You said you were going to stick around. You said you were going to have me one of these days, Doug. Then you go off and almost get smashed under all that shit!" She exclaims. He stands, realizing what she's upset about.
"But Carol, I'm okay now." He says, reaching out to touch her arm. She pulls away.
"But what about tomorrow? Or the next day? Or even next year?" She asks.
"I'm not invincible, Carol." He says.
"But you don't have to go crawling through metal piles waiting to collapse! Doug, I know you! You would do anything for the sake of a child. Including dying!" She exclaims. He grabs her shoulders, pulling her closer to him as tears stream down her face.
"I didn't realize it would effect you this much." Doug says softly. She pushes against his chest but he holds her in his grip.
"It did!" She whimpers. "It does."
"I promise to be safer from now on, Carol." He says. "I didn't mean to scare you." He says. She goes limp in his arms, no longer able to fight. She moves forward, burying her face into his shoulder and sobbing as she wraps her arms around his waist tightly, holding on.
"Doug.......you could have died." She whispers. He kisses her head.
"But I didn't. I can't promise that I'll live forever, Carol. But I'll promise to try." He says. She sobs again, her arms tightening around his waist. He holds her, rocking. "But I'm here now." He whispers. He stands, holding her as she cries, rocking away the pain. She lifts her head to look into his eyes.
"Doug." She whispers. He looks at her before pressing his lips to hers gently. When he pulls away he looks at her.
"I love you, Carol." He says. She looks at him, her mouth open in surprise before she whispers softly.
"I love you too, Doug." She whispers. He scoops her into his arms and crushes his lips against hers. He carries her back to the bedroom, closing the door behind them.
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