Nearly a week later, George had managed to keep Julianna within his sight for the majority of the time. When he couldn't, he had always returned to find her completely sober, managing to keep herself that way. But he felt that they really needed to discuss everything, because him just being there wasn't help enough. It was some, but not all that she needed. And he knew that. So as they were eating dinner, one that Julianna had prepared to keep her mind off things, he brought up subjects he wanted to discuss.

"Jules?" He asked, and dug in to a bite of pasta.

"Yeah?" She asked, and looked up at him.

"We need to talk." He said.

"About what?" She asked, knowing it would have something to do with the situation, but hoping he would say something different.

"Did you ever go to the hospital?" He asked. She stared at him, and then swallowed. Finally she looked down and shook her head no.

"I didn't want to." She said.

"You could have got something, Jules. Medication...I mean...what if...You had gotten pregnant, or something?" He asked. She shrugged.

"I'm on the pill, and was. Plus, I didn't, did I?" She asked. He shook his head no.

"But what about....other things?" He asked.

"STD's?" She asked. He swallowed and nodded.

"Well, he was wearing a condom." She said.

"Are you sure?" He asked. She nodded.

"Amazingly enough, yes. He did." She sat her fork down, no longer having an appetite.

"But you should have got it checked out. I don't want to....turn this around, but you and I have.......made love. Since then."

"I don't have a STD." She said.

"You can't be sure." He said. She sighed.

"He wore a condom, George."

"That doesn't mean anything. It could have broke. He could have got some....fluids outside of it, somehow." George placed his own fork down, no longer hungry himself. Julianna buried her face in to her hands.

"Do we have to talk about this now?" She asked. He stared at her.

"We need to talk about this."

"While we're eating?" She asked.

"If we were lying in bed, you still wouldn't want to talk about this. If we were watching TV. It doesn't matter where we are, Jules. We still need to discuss this."

"Well, what else do you want to discuss? Besides the fact that I could have HIV and that I could have given it to you?"

"Jules." He said.

"Look, I'm sorry that I got you involved in this."

"You know that's not what I meant, Jules. I was merely saying." He said and sat back in his chair. She sighed and then looked up at him.

"I know I don't have a STD. I haven't gone to the doctor, but I just know. If I thought there was a chance, I would have gone to the doctor before. I may seem suicidal, but I'm not. If I died, I'd rather do it my way, then be taken out by a disease that the fucker could have given me." She said. She stood up then and took her plate with her. She scraped everything in to a bowl to put in the refrigerator. He sat, staring down at his own plate.

"Are you done?" She asked. He nodded, and she took his plate. He stood up, and began to help her clear the table. When she began to run water for dishes, he turned it off, and took her hand.

"I want to know, Jules." He said. She stared at him. "I want to know everything." She looked at him for a minute longer and then nodded. She kept ahold of his hand and led him in to the living room. He sat down and she sat beside him and then shifted their positions so that her back was against his chest. He knew that it was so she did not have to face him, and he was fine with that. If that helped her, he would do it. He wrapped his arms firmly around her and waited patiently.

"I was walking along the sidewalk after leaving a restaurant where I had been eating with Miranda. It was dark, and I was a little weirded out, because it was mostly deserted. She had driven, but I had walked, because I had felt like some fresh air. She offered to take me home, but since it was out of her way, and I wanted to walk, I said no. She tried a few times to get me to go with her, but I wouldn't. Anyway, so I was walking, and I was carrying my keys between my fingers, so that if anyone tried to jump me...." She stopped. "I could have some sort of defense." She paused and took a deep breath. "I had this creepy feeling, like something wasn't quite right. I'm not sure why, but I just felt....it." She paused again and George's arms tightened around her. "I was so close to home. Almost, almost to the suburbs. But all of a sudden a man jumped out of this dark alley and grabbed me, pulling me back with him. I tried to cut him with my keys, but I think I only scratched him a little. Even though I was prepared, I was still caught by surprise. He twisted my keys away from me." She stopped and closed her eyes. George simply waited. "He began to tear at my clothes." Her voice hitched and George lowered his head, rubbing his cheek against hers. Julianna turned her head toward him slightly. "I couldn't move him at all. He was so much stronger." She stopped. "I felt......his hands. Everywhere. Touching me. Hurting me." A tear slid down her cheek and he felt it against his own. His heart clenched deep in his chest.

"He...He...shoved his fingers...inside of me." Julianna's breath hitched again, and George felt the anger sharply burning inside of him. "It hurt, but he wasn't......even close to finished yet." Julianna's eyes stayed closed, and George hated that he knew what was replaying behind them. "He tore.....my...my underwear, and then I heard the ripping of his condom package." A little sob escaped her lips, and she lifted one hand to her mouth, pressing her fingers against it. Pushing it back inside. Her other hand squeezed George's arm.

"You can stop." He said. She shook her head, knowing she had to continue now.

"Then he was inside me." She said it, finally, pushing it out loudly. Another sob escaped and George tried to shush her, but she had to go on. "Pushing at me, driving in to me. And I hated it, I hated him so much! I wanted to fucking kill him! But I couldn't even move. I was paralyzed with it, with pain, and fear. I wanted to hurt him as bad as he was hurting me!" She exclaimed, and openly began to cry. George shifted her in his arms, needing to cradle her closer. He turned her around, and she buried her face in his chest. He scooted down, so they were lying beside each other, and then he gathered her up as closely as possible. She clung to him, pouring her agony into him. He just gripped her, waiting it out, letting her know he was there for her.

====== ====== ======

A little while later, she quieted down.

"Thank you for telling me." He said softly.

"Thank you for holding me." She said. He kissed her forehead.

"I don't want you to take this the wrong way." He paused. "But maybe you should see a therapist." She sighed.

"George."

"I know you don't want to. I know you don't want to rely on anybody else. But listen, Jules. There are things I can't do for you. Things I can't understand, or help you with. Therapists are educated and trained to help with things like this. You don't have to go forever, just as long as you feel you need to." He said.

"I know you're right, George, but I really don't want to do that." She said.

"If you know I'm right, then you know you need to go. You need to sacrifice your independence one more time." She sighed.

"I'll think about it." She said.

"That's all I ask." He said. "Now, why don't we just lay here for a little while." He said. She nodded, and cuddled closer. Just together. It was all she needed for now.

====== ====== ======

A little over a week later Julianna was sitting on a couch in her new therapist's office. She was dreading every minute of their conversation. The doctor began to give her normal, run-of-the-mill, beginning speech, and Julianna barely listened.

"And you know that whatever we speak of here is absolutely confidential." Dr. Roberts stated, rather than asked. Julianna nodded at the woman across from her. Dr. Roberts nodded back.

"So. Is there a specific reason that you are willing to share on why you began therapy?" The brunette asked. Julianna shrugged a bit and stared at her.

"My boyfriend decided I needed to come." She said, and cringed with Dr. Roberts began to take notes.

"And why was that?" Dr. Roberts asked. Julianna didn't answer for a minute. Dr. Roberts just stared at her. Julianna sighed.

"Because I've been having some problems, lately." Julianna said in a round-about way. Dr. Roberts nodded, and still did not say anything. Julianna stared for a minute. "There was an incident that happened a few months ago, and he has been trying to help me through it. He decided that he wasn't enough help and so I agreed to come to therapy."

"Why did you agree?"

"Because....I know he's right. I didn't want to come, though." The doctor nodded.

"Many people say that, actually." Julianna looked at her in surprise. The doctor continued. "A lot of people are forced to come here, or have family members who want them to come. Only about twenty-five percent come willingly and on their own."

"I am only here for him."

"That's devotion." Dr. Roberts said. Julianna shrugged. "You must love him." Julianna's heart flipped. She had never really thought about it. She supposed she did, but she hadn't had time to think that over for herself. Dr. Roberts saw Julianna's mind working, but her instinct told her that it was something Julianna needed to figure out alone.

They sat there and talked for the rest of their hour, before Julianna went home to think over her situation.

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"How did it go?" George asked when she got home. She shrugged.

"It was okay." She said. He nodded, not wanting to pressure her, especially since he was the one who had pushed her to have therapy. She looked at him, and saw that he wasn't going to ask her anything else. He would let her tell him what she wanted, when she was ready. Her heart swelled and she moved to him. She took his face in her hands and kissed him hard. She pulled her lips back and leaned her forehead against his. "Thank you." She said. He wrapped his arms around her and squeezed.

"You're welcome."

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Later that night, Julianna lay awake beside George. She was curled up against him, her body curved into all his nooks and crannies. She turned her nose into his neck, smelling him. She traced her finger gently over his chest, but decided not to do that, because she didn't want him to wake up. She wanted to lay there and just enjoy being with him, and be able to think about him. She turned to look at his sleeping face and she realized then and there that she would give up her drinking, and the pills, and everything else for him. He would become her new addiction. She would continue therapy and change herself for him. Make herself into a better person, for him.

"I love you." She whispered quietly, and nuzzled her face into him, closing her eyes to sleep. The only thing she would ever have to worry about was if he would leave her. As long as he was with her, she would be okay.

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After another session with her therapist, and more days with George, she knew she had to tell him about her feelings. She was scared, scared of rejection, but she knew she had to do it. It was something she had to do for herself. And if he was going to leave her, she would rather he did it now before she got in even deeper. She thought about it, wondering if she should plan something, a time to tell him, or just wing it. After some thinking she decided to just sit him down and tell him. Sugar coating it wouldn't make him love her, he just had to, despite her serious flaws. She also knew that they hadn't been together for very long, but she knew that if she loved him, it was possible for him to love her. Or at least be willing to give it a try.

"Whatcha wanna do tonight?" George asked as they sat together on the couch. Julianna nibbled her bottom lip nervously.

"Talk." She said.

"What?" He asked. She took a deep breath and then turned to him.

"I want to talk." She said. He nodded.

"Okay. What about?" He asked. She closed her eyes for a minute.

"Don't say anything until I'm done, okay?" She asked when she opened her eyes. He nodded.

"I....I just want to thank you, for everything." She paused. "I was going through a rough time, and couldn't turn to Ron. Didn't want to. And you were there, even though you weren't sure it was the right thing to do. And then when I told you I was raped, you stuck around. You didn't run away, and you didn't leave me to suffer through it alone. You tried to make me stop my abuse, and you talked to me. Made me get help." She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and tried to hold them back. He reached for her hand, and she scooted a bit closer to him. She bent her head, and wiped her eye quickly. He kissed her hand. "And I just wanted to thank you." She looked up at him, unable to hide her tears. He took her face into his hands and kissed her cheeks gently.

"You're welcome." He said. She struggled to compose herself, because she didn't want to cry when she continued. She sniffled, and forced the tears back down.

"I'm not done." She said. He chuckled, and nodded, dropping his hands. She wiped her face once more, then met his gaze. She stared at him for a moment and then sniffled again. "I don't know if it's too soon to tell you," She paused, "But.....I love you, George." She watched his face flash with surprise and then delight.

"Jules." He said and his eyes closed for a minute. Then they popped open and he crushed her against him. "I love you, too." He said and she began to cry again, clinging to him. "Oh God." He said. "I wasn't ready for that." He chuckled. "I was trying to figure out when I wanted to tell you that, but I didn't want to push you."

"I couldn't hold it in anymore." She said. "I thought that if you were going to leave me, I'd rather you do it sooner."

"I'll never leave you." He said, staring into her eyes. And then he leaned forward, capturing her mouth with his. They kissed deeply for a moment, loving each other, before he pulled away.

"You're the reason I'm still living." She said, and cupped his wrists in her hands. He nuzzled her cheek gently. "I want to be a better person for you. I want to quit doing all these bad things so I can be better for you."

"You couldn't get any better." He said, and kissed away the tear that slid down her cheek. "I love you just the way you are, Jules. Just the way you are." He said and kissed her again. They wrapped their arms around each other and laid back, settling into their love.

====== ====== ======

Julianna went to a few more sessions with her therapist, and they went through the rape, recounted it and everything. Julianna had hated telling a complete stranger about the hell she had been through, but she did it for George. She hadn't cried, she had fought the tears away, but it hadn't helped her. She knew she should stick with the therapy and go a few more sessions, but she hated it.

"George?" Julianna asked when he was helping her make dinner.

"Yeah?" He asked. She turned to him.

"I don't wanna go to therapy any more." She said. He put the knife he was using to cut the vegetables down on the counter, and turned to face her.

"Okay." He said.

"Today I told her about the rape. But I hated it. I hate having to tell her, tell a stranger, what had happened to me." She paused. "I want to do this for you, but I don't think I can."

"No, Jules, this is supposed to be for you. If you don't like it, or it's not helping, then you can stop." He said and stepped closer to her. She stared at him.

"I'll go to my next session and tell her that I am done, and tell her why." George nodded, and Julianna continued on. "I know that I'm not completely okay. I probably never will be. But," Julianna paused, "You healed me George." She said and tears filled her eyes again. He came closer and placed his hands on her sides. She leaned into him. "As long as you stay I'll be alright." He kissed her neck softly and pulled back.

"Then you'll always be alright." He said softly.

"I love you, George."

"I love you, too, Julianna."

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