February 23rd-March 6th, 2003
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Continues as soon as the second chapter was over. Jules and Ron are still on the phone. You may want to see where the other one ended so you know where they are in the conversation.
You may want to shield your eyes later on because there is a NC-17 scene in this fic, but you sort of have to keep your eyes half open to catch everything else.
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"Ron, I..."
"Jules, just listen for a minute." He said. She blinked her eyes hard, trying to get the tears to go away. She didn't want to cry and she definitely did not want him to know she was crying. "Do you think that maybe you could come over and we could discuss this in person?" No, Julianna thought, I can't. "Please, I....I need to see you." He said. Her stomach was starting to hurt.
"I...Okay." She said.
"You will, you'll come?" He asked. She shook her head no.
"Yes. I'll come." Fuck! Julianna thought. What about George? She questioned herself. "Are you at home?" She heard herself say and then wondered why she called it home, because it wasn't home anymore.
"Yeah."
"I'll be right over." She said and pressed the off button on the telephone. Then she sat very still on the couch, staring down at her cell phone. After a few minutes she stood, making her way into the kitchen. She wasn't going to change her clothes or touch her hair or do her make-up. There was no need to do that with Ron, and plus she didn't want to look her best. She hated that she didn't know what to do about Ron and George. She wanted both of them.
+========+========+
Julianna walked into the garage and knocked on the door because even though it was unlocked, she didn't feel it was her place anymore to walk uninvited into this house, even if it used to be hers. A few seconds later Ron opened the door. They kind of just stared at each other for a few seconds, and Julianna tried to calm her stomach and her heart, but it wasn't working. The sight of him just made it worse.
"Come in." He said, opening the door and stepping aside. She walked into the house, drinking everything up. She would always love this house. Not much had changed since she had left because she had left the majority of the decorations and things. They walked into the living room and she sat on the couch, fiddling with her fingers. He sat beside her and sighed.
"This house isn't the same without you." He murmured.
"I miss it." She said and he waited, hoping she would say she missed him too.
"You can come back." He said softly. She wanted to, desperately.
"Ron." Julianna said. He sighed.
"What do you even see in George?" He asked.
"Please don't talk about him. It only makes it worse." She said. Would either one of them ever shutup about the other, she wondered. Maybe they should get together. That brought a small smile to her face, but Ron didn't see it.
"I'm sorry." He said. He paused. "I know what I did to you was wrong. I....Don't really understand why I did it, but I realized how much of a jackass I was being, and I know that I wouldn't want to hurt you like that, not on purpose. Something just came over me. I love you, Jules, and I wouldn't ruin what we had on purpose." The sad thing was, she believed him. How could they have spent so many years, wonderful years together and have him not feel the same as her. She turned to him then, her eyes filled with tears.
"I miss you." She said. He smiled a little, and wrapped his arms around her. She went willingly, and hated herself for it at the same time. She buried her face in his throat and began to cry.
"Shhh, shhh, it's okay baby." He said, rubbing her back. He held her as she cried, hating herself for still wanting him, hating herself mostly for hurting George this way. When she had settled down Ron lifted her head with his fingers and kissed her gently.
"So are you coming home?" He asked. She looked at him for a few moments before she nodded yes.
+========+========+
George pulled into the garage to find Julianna's car beside his, where it was supposed to be. He got out of the car and that's when he noticed something was amiss. All of her stuff that they had left in the corner was gone. He looked into her car and didn't see it. His eyebrows scrunched up in puzzlement. He walked into the house, calling Julianna's name.
"Jules? Where are you?"
"In the living room." He heard her call back softly. He went in and saw the back of her head from her place on the couch.
"What happened to all your stuff?" He asked and came around the side of the couch. And then he saw her face. It was red and her eyes were a little puffy. Her cheeks were wet and she was holding a fistful of tissues in her hand. He sat quickly, resting his hand on her shoulder.
"What's the matter, what happened?" He asked. He had a very bad feeling about this in his stomach. She stared at him, tears still sliding down her face.
"There's something I have to tell you." She said. He nodded, his stomach churning. He knew it wasn't going to be good news.
"Okay." He said softly, dropping his hand into his lap.
"Ron called." She said. George nodded and began to put up his defensive walls. He stared at the coffee table.
"And?" George asked.
"He asked me to move back in with him." George nodded.
"So all your stuff is back at your house?" George asked. Julianna nodded.
"Yes." She said quietly.
"Alright then." He said and looked at her.
"I'm so sorry, George." She said. He shrugged.
"I didn't think it would last forever." He said. Julianna lowered her head and raised her hand, pressing her fingers on either side of her nose, pinching the bridge between her fingers.
"I'm sorry that it couldn't. I'm sorry that I pressured you into having this relationship with me. I never should have talked you into it." She said and sobbed. He sighed then, knowing she was right. He had gone into this relationship even though he had his reservations, only because he had wanted her then. He still wanted her, but she apparently didn't want him back, at least not as much as she wanted Ron. But he scooted closer to her and wrapped his arm around her waist. She turned into him, sobbing.
"We both did it, knowing what could happen." He paused. "And I don't regret it. I'm glad it did happen, Jules."
"But it's going to affect our friendship, just like you said it would." She said.
"Maybe a little, but I'll do my best to not let it." He said. She nodded.
"Okay, me too." She said. He sighed and kissed her forehead.
"I'll miss having you here all the time." He said. She sobbed harder. Inside his heart was breaking.
+========+========+
Later that night Julianna slept in her old bed with Ron's arms wrapped around her. Like nothing had ever happened. She lay awake, staring at the wall and wondering if she had done the right thing. She loved Ron, and she had wanted him back, but was he right for her? After everything he had done, should she have taken him back? She wasn't sure, but she knew she would probably find out. And then what happened if he was wrong for her? George probably wouldn't take her back and she'd be all alone. Tears filled her eyes again, and she blinked them away. She closed her eyes, trying hard to make herself fall asleep.
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That same night George lay awake in bed, cursing the world. I hate her, he thought and sighed, knowing it was useless. He loved her, and there was nothing he could do about it. He hadn't known he had loved her ever since he met her, until he had her. And when he realized it, she left soon after.
The person he really hated was Ron. George knew Ron wasn't right for Julianna, and he knew she was smarter than to go back to somebody who had cheated on her. And George hated Ron for having Julianna's heart. She loved him, even though George was sure Ron didn't love her back, not the way he should. But George did. He loved her more than he loved anything in the world.
It took her leaving for him to realize how much.
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Two months later
Julianna was sitting on the couch in her living room, worrying. For the past two months things between her and Ron had been going fantastic. She felt like they were back to their old selves, except for the fact that she missed George. She hadn't seen him since she had left his house that night. Plus the sex with Ron was different now and she realized it was because sex with George had been better.
But here she was, sitting on the couch, worrying about Ron because he wasn't home. He was three hours late from work, and she had called him and hadn't gotten an answer. She thought he might still be working, but he usually called. She was worrying that he was lying on the side of the street somewhere, having been in a car accident. But nobody had called. She sighed, deciding she should just go to bed. It was past midnight, and she was worried, but sitting here doing nothing wouldn't help. She might as well lie down and worry. She stood up and headed up the stairs.
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Around 3 AM in the morning Julianna heard the door close downstairs. She knew it was Ron. She rolled over, sitting up on the bed, figuring he would be right up. And he was. He walked in and looked at her.
"Hey." He said.
"Where were you?" She asked, as he flipped the light on. She squinted, staring at him.
"Work." He said.
"This late?" She asked.
"We had to run over." He said. "We couldn't get a certain scene to work out and they wouldn't let us leave until we did."
"They never keep you this long over." She said.
"Well, they did." He replied. She blinked a few times, watching him change into his pajamas.
"Why is your hair wet?" She asked.
"It's raining." He said. She knew he was lying. She had been awake all night and it had not rained. She stared at him for a few moments, wondering. Realizing. Hating. She laid back down, covering herself up. She turned away from his side of the bed, and tried to go to sleep, even though she knew it wouldn't happen.
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By the time the morning rolled around Julianna was mad. She was angrier than she had ever been in her entire life. She laid in bed, listening to Ron shower, while she seethed. She sat up, staring at the door of the bathroom, waiting. When he came out with a towel wrapped around his waist, she jumped up, ready for a fight.
"Where were you last night?" She asked. He stared at her.
"I told you." He said and began to dress.
"You lied." She said. He looked at her.
"How do you know?" He asked, his voice a little cocky.
"It did not rain last night, but your hair was wet. You lied then." She said. He shrugged.
"That's not proof." He said.
"It's good enough for me." She said. "Were you out fucking another bitch?" Julianna asked. He whipped his head toward her, eyes flashing. He quickly pulled his shirt over his head and began to walk out of the room. She chased him into the hallway, grabbing his arm and pulling him back. "Tell me!" She shouted. He turned, gripping her upper arms and holding her tightly, with her back to the stairs. He shook her.
"Why don't you just mind your own God damned business!" He yelled.
"Ron, you're hurting me." She said, trying to be calm. But he was scaring her. He shoved her against the wall.
"I'll do as I please, do you hear me?" He asked, and slammed her against the wall once. Then he pushed her, and she tripped over her own foot, and began to fall down the stairs. She slid to a stop only three steps down, but she felt an indescribable pain start at her arm and shoot throughout the rest of her. Ron stormed past her, not even bothering to see if she was okay. She heard the door slam and she looked down at her arm in shock. Then she began to cry. She managed to slide down the rest of the stairs and into the kitchen. She used her left arm, the good one, to pick up the telephone. She dialed George's cell phone number.
"Hello?" He asked.
"George." She sobbed.
"Oh God, Jules, what's wrong?" He asked frantically. He jumped up from his desk and walked out of his office.
"I think I broke my arm." She said, crying.
"Where are you?" He asked.
"At home."
"I'll be right over." He said and hung up the phone. She placed her phone into her purse and managed to get some flip-flops on. She unlocked the door and went back to the kitchen, sitting at the table.
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That's where George found her when he came rushing into the house. She had her arm cradled in her lap and her head down on the table. When he came in, she lifted her head. He could see that she had stopped crying, but her face was pale and she was sweating.
"Okay, Jules, can you walk?" He asked. She nodded. "Which arm?" He asked.
"Right." She muttered. He walked to her, helping her out of the chair carefully. He avoided touching her arm and let her lean on him, because he could see she was quite shaky. He didn't blame her. Broken bones gave him the heebie jeebies, especially when he had them himself.
"You're going to be okay." He said, wondering what had happened. She nodded, resting her head against his shoulder because she didn't feel so well.
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George took her to a private practice because she didn't want to go to an emergency room. She called while they were in the car to let them know she was coming, trying her best not to cry or throw up.
When they got there George went into the room with her, waiting until the doctor came as fast as she could. She began asking Julianna questions and Julianna told the woman that she had tripped and fallen down three stairs. The doctor nodded, believing her, as did George.
But when the doctor went to examine her arm, she lifted Julianna's shirt up to her shoulder. And there was another mark on her upper arm. A bruise that ran sideways. Julianna knew it was from Ron's thumb.
"What's this?" Dr. Riley asked. Julianna swallowed.
"A bruise I got a few days ago." She tried to grin through her lie and her pain. "I don't even know how it got there."
"Mm." Dr. Riley murmured, not believing Julianna. She had seen that kind of mark before. She shifted in her chair, leaning forward and trying to look at the back of Julianna's arm. "You seem to have some bruises back here, too." Julianna swallowed nervously. George's brow crinkled. "Three or four of them." George wondered what could have made it. The doctor moved, and pulled up the shirt on Julianna's other arm. There were nearly identical marks on nearly the exact same place on her other arm. Dr. Riley knew. Julianna's eyes began to water with tears.
"What is that?" George asked. Dr. Riley stood up, placing her hands in the same way Ron had put his when he had gripped Julianna.
"Finger prints." Dr. Riley said softly. She turned towards George, wondering if it had been him. George stared at Julianna.
"Jules?" He asked, confused. The doctor could see the honest questioning in his eyes. He hadn't done it. All the men who were responsible seemed to have an arrogance about them that he didn't have. Julianna didn't say anything.
"Did somebody hurt you?" Dr. Riley asked.
"I don't know how they got there." Julianna lied.
"Did somebody push you down the stairs?"
"I tripped." Julianna said, sticking to her story.
"Julianna." George said, trying to encourage her to tell the truth.
"I. Fell. Down." Julianna said slowly, wishing they would leave it be. Dr. Riley sighed.
"Okay. Let's take care of your arm." She said, letting it slide. Julianna closed her eyes briefly, relaxing a bit. Focusing back on her arm. George merely stared, dumbfounded.
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After the doctor was finished casting Julianna's arm, she gave Julianna a few pamphlets about battered women and help that she could get, with various phone numbers and etceteras on it. Then when Julianna wasn't paying any attention Dr. Riley gave George the same pamphlets.
"I trust that you aren't the one that hurt you. I trust you'll make sure she's okay?" Dr. Riley asked. George nodded.
"I will. Thank you." When they got back in the car George didn't say anything about it. He knew that now wasn't the time to ask.
"Do you want me to take you back to your house?" He asked, even though he wasn't sure he would if she wanted to. She shrugged.
"I....." She paused. "No." She said finally. He nodded.
"I'll take you to my house."
"George." She said. He nodded.
"Hm?" He asked. She began to cry.
"I can't go back there." She said. He glanced at her.
"Jules." He said, his heart twisting.
"I can't, George, he'll do it again." George gritted his teeth.
"Can we talk about this when I'm not driving?" George asked. She didn't reply.
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When they arrived back at his house, George led Julianna into his living room, making sure to be careful with her newly casted arm. She looked around, realizing she had missed this place, too, as they sat on the couch together.
"Jules, we need to talk about this." He said.
"I know. I want to." She said.
"Did he push you?" George asked.
"He grabbed my arms and he pushed me against the wall. Then he sort of pushed me again and let go at the same time, and I tripped over my own feet. So he didn't actually intend to push me down the stairs, I just tripped." She said.
"But he was still physically abusing you?" George asked. Julianna shook her head.
"Well...not really. He only grabbed me."
"Hard enough to bruise!" George shouted, making her jump.
"Yes." She said after a moment of pause. "I can't stay with him, George. He cheated on me again. We were arguing this morning. That's why he grabbed me." She said. George lowered his head. He was torn between wanting to take her in and protect her, compared to wanting to make her leave so she wouldn't hurt him again. So she wouldn't break his heart again when it was just beginning to heal.
"Jules. What do you want me to do?" He asked. She looked away, wrapping her left arm around her as much as she could.
"I need to move out. Again." She said.
"I'll help you."
"But to where?" She asked. George closed his eyes, hurting.
"I don't know if I could..." He trailed off.
"I don't have anywhere to go." Julianna whispered, pleading at him with her eyes.
"You have family." He replied, hurting inside so much. He looked away from her, unable to withstand those eyes.
"But they don't have room. Plus I'd be too ashamed to live with either of my parents. He hurt me, George, after I went back to him once. I...I should have fought him. Instead I was just scared of him." The knife in George's heart twisted.
"I." He stopped. "You can stay here if you need to."
"George, I..." She trailed off. Now that she had what she wanted, she didn't know what to do about him. He obviously didn't want her there. "I'll go somewhere else. I can find somewhere else to go." She said. And then he felt even more empty. Guilt trip, he thought.
"No, Jules. I can't do that to you. You can stay here, again, for as long as you need." Then he remembered. "But I may not be home some of the time. I have work." He said. She swallowed.
"Okay, I, uh, that's okay. As long as you don't mind me being here." She said. He shook his head.
"That's okay." He said. She nodded.
"Alright."
"Well, we need to go get your stuff."
"I left most of it in the garage, still." She said. "I guess I always knew I wouldn't be there for long." He sighed gruffly.
"Do you think we'll need anymore help? I could call somebody." He said. She shook her head.
"No. It won't take me that long to pack up my things and it'll be the same amount of stuff as.....the first time." She said. He nodded.
"Alright then. Let's go."
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The next day George didn't come home until after Julianna was in bed. The night after that he began packing because he was leaving the next morning. Julianna knew that he had to work, but she knew that he was also in a hurry to get there because of her. She didn't blame him. She had hurt him and messed his life all up. And she was doing it again, she knew.
"Will you be okay?" George asked the next morning. He pointed to her arm.
"I've managed these past two days, so I should be fine." She replied softly.
"You don't mind being here all alone?" He asked. She shook her head.
"I'll have to get used to it for when I get my own apartment." She said. He swallowed and nodded. "I will probably start looking for apartments while you're gone." She continued.
"Alright. Well," He glanced at his watch, "My plane leaves in two hours, so I better get going." He said. She nodded.
"Okay." She walked toward him and kissed his cheek a bit awkwardly. She wanted to press her lips to his, like before, but she knew she couldn't do that. He wouldn't let her, for one thing, plus she hated herself for wanting to use him like that again. She was like a yo-yo. She was with Ron, and then she went to George and then she went back to Ron as quick as she could, and here she was, wanting to kiss George and beg him to stay home with her. I am fucked up, Julianna thought silently. "I guess I'll see you when you get back then." He nodded.
"Bye." He said and turned to leave. She stared at him as he left.
"Goodbye." She said softly. She watched him walk out into the garage and she waited a few seconds, hoping he would come back through the door. But she knew it was ridiculous. They weren't together anymore. Why should he come back? Not for her.
Julianna turned and made her way to the kitchen table. She sat down, folded her arms in front of her and buried her head against them. Then she sighed.
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The entire time that George was gone Julianna looked for apartments. She found a few that would be okay, but none of them really felt right. She hated herself for it, but she thought it was just because she didn't want to leave here that nothing appealed to her.
Three weeks after he left she was still looking and waiting.
+========+========+
The entire time George had been away from home, he hadn't stopped thinking of the woman residing in his house. Half of him wished fervently that she would be gone when he got back, but the part of him that told the truth hoped to God she would still be there when he got back. He loved her, even if she had broke his heart and was threatening to re-break it. He had called her a few times, and she had always been there, but he hadn't called for about a week.
That's why he was going home after three weeks of being gone to see if she was still there.
+========+========+
George slid his key into the door and walked into the house. Julianna heard a noise and stood up quietly, wondering what it was. She figured it was George, but just to be on the safe side she tip-toed. When she walked into the kitchen, there he was, holding two suitcases. He stopped when he saw her and they stared at each other, taking their fill.
Julianna thought he looked amazing. He looked exhausted, and a little thin, like he had been working too hard, but after three weeks of not seeing him it was like looking at the most exquisite thing you had ever seen in your life. Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them back, not wanting to worry him. She hated herself for ever ending things with him. Things had been going wonderfully. Then she left him to go back to her old life, which had turned out just as badly as before. And she knew she would never go back to Ron. But she knew George would never accept her back into his arms. She hated herself.
"Hi." She finally managed to whisper.
"Hey." He answered and dropped his suitcases. He smiled a little. "Doesn't look like you burnt the place down." She grinned a little.
"Nope. I managed to keep it in tact." He nodded.
"Well, I uh, I better get this stuff upstairs." He said. She nodded.
"Here, I'll help." She said and went to him. He handed her the smaller carry-on back.
"You take that. I'll get the rest. You don't need to lift things with your arm." He said. She smiled.
"It's fine, George. It doesn't hurt. I've been fine for three weeks with it." He nodded.
"I know, but you can't strain it." He said. "Believe me, I've hurt myself enough to know." She just nodded and followed him up the stairs.
+========+========+
Two days later they were driving each other crazy. Since George had come back from location he didn't really have to work just yet. They got to have a little break before they had to go back to the offices to work on the film. He had been home for two entire days and the tension between them was so thick it would take a butcher knife to slice it.
He had left the house a few times, going out with friends and things. She had gone shopping once because she thought she may not be able to stand being in the house with him any longer.
When she got home around 6 PM on the second night, from shopping, he was sitting on the couch watching television. She put her things away, greeting him as she walked by. Then she went back down the stairs and sat beside him on the couch.
They didn't talk.
After nearly five minutes of sitting there in silence and letting even more tension build, Julianna just exploded.
"This is fucking ridiculous!" She exclaimed and turned to look at him. He looked at her.
"What?" He asked.
"Oh, don't play dumb!" She said, standing. "We're acting like children."
"You don't have to shout." He said.
"Well, how else am I going to get anything through to you?" She asked, sliding towards her left so she was blocking his view of the television. He sighed and pressed the mute button, settling in for a good fight. "What is your problem?"
"What are you talking about?" He asked, staring up at her as she stood in front of him.
"When things....ended you said that you would work to stay friends so we didn't lose our friendship. And then you did what any good friend would have done when I called you crying because I broke my arm. But then as soon as that was all fixed you went into jerk mode!"
"You have no right to call me a jerk." He said, lowering his voice.
"Maybe I don't, but you aren't trying to be a friend. You're too wrapped up in yourself to care about this, us." She said.
"Can you REALLY blame me!?" He asked, standing up.
"What are you talking about?"
"You waltz into my life and I let you live with me because you had just gotten your heart broken. Which I was totally fine with because you were my best friend. Then you rush into having a new relationship with me which I had reservations about in the first place!" He took a deep breath, watching her. "Then you decide that you didn't really want me in the first place, that I was merely a replacement for a man you wanted. When he presented the opportunity you ran straight back into his arms, even though I knew he didn't really love you and that he would just cheat on you again. And I think even you knew that. But you still went, leaving me behind without a second thought. And THEN you run back to me AGAIN when he hurts you for the second time, like I knew he would! You did all of that without thinking about me! And now you're pissed because I'm not willing to be buddy buddy with you again." Julianna just stared at him when he finished.
"I'm sorry, George. I.." She paused. "I really did think about you, I agonized over it. And I hate myself for what I did to you." She paused, feeling tears coming on. "It was all for self-preservation and that's why I hate myself." He just stared at her, breathing hard. He hated it because she made all of his anger want to just go away. But he wouldn't let it go away. She had hurt him more than anyone ever had.
Suddenly Julianna just walked to him and kissed him. He stayed completely still, shocked, but she wrapped herself around him, pressing her body and her lips against him. She didn't care. He could push her away. But she didn't know how else to comfort him. Within seconds he felt himself responding. He couldn't stay immune to the kiss of the woman he loved more than anyone. It just wasn't possible for him.
He wrapped his arms tightly around her, crushing her to him but being mindful of her arm. She moaned, delighted by his heated response. He was obviously no more unaffected by it than she was. She threw her head back when his lips moved down to ravage her neck. She moaned again, pressing her pelvis against his. He began to drag her towards the stairs. She followed him, her hands running over him, touching everywhere she could. Half way up the stairs she pulled his shirt over his head. It was discarded carelessly.
When they reached the top of the stairs she pushed his back against the hallway wall. She broke their kiss to throw her own shirt off. Their lips came back together as soon as that barrier was gone. He pushed her towards the room, groping for her bra strap at the same time.
Their lovemaking had never been this desperate before. As soon as her bra was gone he filled his hands with her. She moaned, nipping at his neck as his fingers played over her. Then she reached for the buckle on his belt. She undid it and immediately reached for the button of his jeans. Soon enough his pants were falling down. He stepped out of them and reached down to take her pants off.
As soon as they were gone they both slid their underwear off and fell onto the bed. He kissed her hard, his body covering hers. She pushed him off, rolling over on top of him, wanting to be in control. She slid down his body and took his penis into her mouth, wanting to make him want her as much as she wanted him. He groaned, reaching down and tangling his hands in her hair that was dancing over his thighs and stomach.
"Jules." He groaned and she felt intensely satisfied by it. But she couldn't wait any longer. She slid back up his body, straddling his hips. He reached up, taking her hips into his hands and guiding her to him. She felt his head nudge her center and she slid down, taking him inside of her. They moaned simultaneously. She began to swivel her hips, rotating them but not lifting herself. She threw her head back and her curls fell along her back. He watched her, entranced at her concentration.
He slid his hand up the front of her belly, reaching up to cup her breast. She sighed audibly and leaned forward, staring down at him as she began to ride him. He reached out, taking her hands into his, their fingers gripping each other, palm to palm as much as they could despite her cast. She leaned over, kissing him once, hard on the lips. Then she leaned back up, gripping his hands as she closed her eyes. He watched her, unable to close his eyes even though the overwhelming pleasure called for it. He pushed up with his hips and she cried out. He could feel her body spasming around him and he fell over the edge with her, crying her name out on his lips. She sank into his chest, burying her face into the crook of his shoulder. He wrapped his arms loosely around her as they came down from the high.
When she finally came back to her senses she rolled over, off of him, so they were lying side by side, both staring at the ceiling.
"How many times did you fuck him in those two months when you were with him?" George asked. Julianna made a muffled sound under her breath and rolled over, sitting up on the edge of the bed with her back to George. "While he was out fucking someone else." George said, his voice angry, mad at himself for succumbing back to Julianna. This time when she cried out the pain wasn't muffled. She reached down and grabbed her underwear off the floor. She put them back on, reaching for her pants. She slid into those and got up, picking her bra off the floor. She put it on as quickly as she could but it was all tangled. In the time she was trying to get herself all situated George realized what an asshole remark that had been and he had jumped from the bed and made his way around to her, still naked.
"I'm sorry, Jules, that was uncalled for." He touched her shoulder. She jerked away as if he had burnt her.
"I found an apartment." She said coldly. "I'll be out of here by tomorrow." She hoped. She would just take one of the apartments that she had looked at and liked, but had decided to pass up. She'd take on of those, she didn't care. And if she couldn't get them by tomorrow, she'd check into a hotel. Julianna walked to the hall to get her shirt, but George pulled on her good arm, pulling her back into the room. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, not letting her go. He didn't want her to just leave and let it end this way.
"Let me go!" She exclaimed. He felt the brush of her cast against his stomach.
"I won't hurt you, not like that, Jules. But I can't let you go. You can't leave this like this."
"You're the one who wants me to go!" She exclaimed, still struggling against him. He held tight.
"Not like this, Jules." He said. She began to cry, stilling herself.
"Let me go." She moaned. Everything was piling up and she couldn't take this.
"Are you going to leave?" He asked. She didn't answer. "I won't let you go if you're going to leave."
"Fine." She muttered. He let her go and she stared at him, her eyes watery and her cheeks wet.
"What I just said was awful, Julianna, I shouldn't have said it. I just....I wanted to hurt you as much as you hurt me." He said. "And I hated myself for giving in to you again." He said and backed away from her. He bent down and picked his boxers up off the floor and slid into them. Then he sat on the bed, rubbing the heel of his hand against his eye. He sighed gruffly. "What we just did," He pointed to the bed carelessly, "just complicates things even more."
"I know." She whispered. She walked to the bed and sat beside him, keeping a good space between them.
"I know that I said I would try to be friends. But I....It's hard when I'm still hurt over what happened the first time. I didn't...I never thought what we had the first time would last forever, but I was hurt nonetheless by how quickly you ran back to that jerkoff."
"I'm sorry I hurt you. That was never my intention or part of a plan." She said. He nodded, glancing at her.
"I know that." He looked at her, sitting with just a bra on to cover her top, and he felt a surge of lust in his gut. He wondered if he would ever not feel that when he looked at her. And then he hoped that he always felt it. It may drive him crazy, but it was a good feeling. And nobody else made it happen but her. He didn't want to lose it.
"I just..." She sighed. "With Ron, I....We were supposed to be forever. I have always thought that, ya know?" She asked. George nodded slightly, understanding but hating it still. "And so when this happened I think even though I was hurt and so angry at him, I just thought in the back of my mind that we'd get back together because this was just a bump in the road. This was just something we had to get over to be together again." She turned to look at George, wanting to gauge his reaction. "But there were two things I didn't realize then that I understand now." George looked at her.
"First of all I realize that we're never going to be together forever. It wasn't meant to be. I should have known that the first time he cheated on me. And the second thing I understand now is that I didn't really love him. Anymore. He cheated on me, and it was for a good reason, I mean, because I felt it too. Something lacking in our relationship. But I just figured it was because we had been together so long. But obviously our relationship wasn't satisfying to him either because he realized it and did something about it."
"Jules, that doesn't make any sense. He cheated on you and.....Maybe what was lacking in your relationship was his devotion. Maybe he is just a jerk and wasn't satisfied, even though he had heaven in front of him." Julianna stared at George. "You can't let him just get away with it in your mind. It's not fair to you." George said. She sighed.
"Maybe not. But there's no place inside of me for hatred and anger. Maybe I do hate him now, but I won't dwell on it. I just know that I don't love him. That's all that matters is that I realize I don't love him anymore. I don't want him back anymore." She paused. "I'm just sorry that you got caught up in the middle of it. I should never have asked you to be with me when I thought I still loved Ron. It wasn't fair to you."
"You're forgiven." George said softly. Julianna shook her head.
"I don't deserve it." He sighed.
"Listen to me, Jules, and what I am going to say is probably not something you want to hear." He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "The reason I didn't even try to patch up our friendship was because I was so angry with you. I was hurt." He paused and looked at her. Met her gaze. "You hurt me worse than anybody ever has." He said truthfully. She stared at him for a few seconds longer before her eyes filled with tears. She looked away.
"George, I."
"No, don't. The reason why it hurt worse than anything ever has, more than Talia and I hurt each other, or more than Celine hurt me, is because you were also my best friend. And..." He trailed off, unable to continue. He couldn't tell her.
"What?" She asked through her tears. He shook his head.
"Nothing." He said. She reached for him, gripping his arm with her good hand.
"Tell me, George, please. Don't hold back because of me."
"And because I love you." He whispered softly. She stared at him, her eyes wide and amazed.
"What?" She asked. He pushed himself up.
"See." He said and sighed, running his hands through his hair and over his face. He began to pace.
"George...."
"Don't say anything, Jules. Think before you say anything." He said. She paused, looking up at him.
"When I was with Ron, I was aware even then that you and I were better friends than I could ever be with him. Do you know what I mean?" Julianna asked. George nodded. "You are my best friend. He was probably my second best friend, but I still felt closer to you in that way. And then when I went back to Ron, I realized that..." She blushed a little. "That making love to you is better than it is with him." George looked up, a bit shocked. A surge of male pride spurted through him and he had to make himself listen to her instead of clapping himself on the back. And then he realized that she was the best he had ever had, too, so maybe it had nothing to do with the person's performance, but it just had something to do with the person. George focused on Julianna. She laughed a little at his expression. "Plus I realized that the good times I had with him were no better than all the times I spent with you." She paused. "These past three weeks that you've been gone I've been able to do a LOT of thinking." She shrugged. "And it made me realize that I was the stupidest person on the planet when I went back to him and let you go when essentially you were better than him. You were more of what I wanted."
"Jules..." George trailed off, not wanting her to say something she didn't mean. She stood up, staring at him.
"George, I...I don't know if I love you. That's a hard thing for me to judge after all this....this shit, I've been through the past few months trying to understand and recognize what love is and who I feel it for. I don't know."
"That's okay." George said. "I don't want to you say anything you'll regret or make yourself believe something that's not there or that isn't true."
"But George, I want to find out if I do love you. I want to....I don't want to just leave this and walk away from this. I want to see what could be." She said. He sighed.
"I want to live my life with you, Julianna, but I don't know if I could stand it if you decided you really don't love me. I couldn't stand if you walked away again." She nodded. "Do you know what I mean?"
"I do. But how else can we find out?" He shrugged.
"The first time I didn't want to do it at first because I think I knew somewhere in the back of my mind that you still wanted Ron. I was hesitant of getting hurt then." He paused. "But I don't think I would take it back. What we had was the most amazing thing I've ever experienced. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I'll take it again, Jules, but if you leave again and I get hurt I won't be the same. I won't be able to patch things up like last time. If we do this and you decide to end it, it will be the last time." She nodded. Her stomach hurt. She knew she had hurt him, but having him tell it to her face like this made her hurt with him.
"I understand. I'm sorry, George, about what I did."
"You're forgiven. You know I couldn't hold it against you for long." Julianna sighed and walked to him. He wrapped his arms around her gently. She rested her head against his shoulder with her face turned towards his neck.
"Do you want me to move out?" Julianna asked and before he could answer she barreled on. "Because if you think it would be better for this, I will." She said. He sighed and shook his head, his arms tightening around her.
"I really don't want that." He said. She sighed in relief.
"Good."
"But I know what I do want." He said. She turned her head towards him.
"What?" She asked. He grinned and kissed her. She smiled and stood on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around his shoulders so she could melt into him again. This time their lovemaking wasn't nearly as desperate.
+========+========+
Two years later a married George and Julianna were getting ready for bed when Julianna couldn't hide her excitement anymore.
"George?" She asked.
"Hm?" He said, looking at her as he pulled back the covers. She grinned.
"I have something to tell you." She said.
"Oh really?" He asked, climbing into the bed. She slid in beside him and scooted closer. Their legs automatically tangled. He held his head up with his hand. Julianna reached down and wrapped his free hand in both of her hands. She lifted his hand to her mouth.
"I'm pregnant." She said quietly, her eyes shining. His eyes widened.
"You are?" He asked. She nodded, hiding her mouth behind his hand and giggling.
"You have a baby in there?" He asked looking down at her stomach. She pushed back the covers and placed his hand on her tummy.
"Mmmhmm." She replied.
"Wow." He said quietly, staring at her flat tummy. "Wow." He repeated. She laughed.
"Shocked?" She asked.
"A bit. I'm thrilled." He said and met her eyes. Her eyes moistened a bit and she leaned toward him and kissed him softly.
"I love you." She said. He lifted his hand from her tummy and brushed a curl from her cheek.
"I love you, too." He replied.
"Do you think we're ready?" Julianna asked him. He shrugged and smiled, wrapping his arms around her.
"I don't know, but I'm in it for the long run."
+========+========+