April 16-20, 01.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

There will be a lot of time skipping around in this story. Hopefully I did a good job keeping you on track. You shouldn't get lost. *smiles*

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

Julianna sat alone in the quiet house, staring out the window at the rain pouring down. It was the first time in her life she had thought this dreary weather suited her mood to the degree. Minutes earlier she had stopped crying and sat in silence, watching the rain pound the ground. It was a sad, angry rain that sometimes made you cringe just to look at it. Julianna welcomed it, watching the sharp little pellets bounce against the ground.

She was numb, frozen to the spot, her mind swirling with thoughts. She remembered the night she made a big mistake. It floated around in her mind, like a dark cloud unwilling to settle. She tried to wish it away, but it stayed, causing her a great deal of emotional pain. At times like these, she was glad she was an actress. She loved her ability to hide things from people she loved, more specifically Ron. If he ever found out....no, he would never know. She wouldn't allow it. She couldn't.

A wave of nausea passed over her, making her groan softly. She stood, shaking slightly on her feet, before she darted off the bathroom and fell to the floor, barely able to make it to the toilet before vomiting. She gagged as it felt like her insides were going to come out. She coughed and sat, bent over the toilet as she waited, praying she was finished. She stood, wobbling, as she flushed the toilet. Julianna made her way to the sink, turning on the cold water. She cupped her hands together and let the water run through her fingers before she splashed it on her face. She picked up a small hand towel and wiped her hands and face. Julianna placed it back on the counter before picking up a cup that she kept beside the sink. She filled it halfway with water and then drank, trying to get the sour taste out of her mouth.

She stood, looking herself over in the mirror and shook her head. Her life was currently a living hell. She sighed and headed into the bedroom.

Julianna was pregnant. Normally, she would be scared and nervous but mainly okay with that, but this wasn't a normal situation. She didn't know who the father was. That thought alone nearly sent her rushing back to the toilet.

She had been dating Ron for a long time now. Almost 10 years. But she wasn't so sure that she loved him anymore. 3 and a half weeks ago, she had had a one night stand. It was alcohol induced and she would like to think of it as an accident, but sex could never really be classified an accident. The worst part was that her one night stand had been with George. Her best friend. She loved him, and she thought she was in love with him. Maybe that's why she had let him take her to bed that night. She had woken the morning after, alone and cold in her bed. He had left her in the middle of the night. She had laid there and cried, buried under the covers in her bed until she fell back asleep, exhausted. She had not seen or heard from him since then.

She needed to decide what to do about Ron and George. If she had to make a bet, she would say that George was the father of her child. She didn't remember them using any form of protection and she and Ron always did. But if she told George he was the father, would he want the baby? And what if it so happened that George wasn't the father after she told him? She would have to tell Ron she was pregnant soon because he would know about her morning sickness and soon enough she would start to show. But then, if Ron wasn't the father and George was, what would Ron do? Would he abandon them both and leave her to raise a child alone? Most likely. She had to tell one of them he was the father, because there was no way she could raise this child alone. But George may not want the child. She had heard him say, numerous times that he did not want children. She cringed at the thought. So, she decided, she would tell Ron he was the father and if it so happened that he was not, she prayed he would stay with her.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

It was a week later before Julianna got up the courage to tell Ron about her pregnancy. Ron walked into the living room where she was seated and she reached out for him. He took her outstretched hand and sat, smiling at her.

"Hey." He said softly. She smiled.

"We need to talk." She said weakly, barely managing to get the words out.

"Okay." He replied.

"I know this was...unexpected and I don't know how you will feel about this. But, uh," She pauses, "I'm pregnant." Julianna said quietly. He stared at her, shocked.

"You're pregnant?" He asked. She nodded, watching him closely.

"Yes." She replied in a whisper. A slow smile spread across his face and he squeezed her hands in his.

"We're having a baby!" He exclaimed. "How far along are you?"

"A little over 4 weeks." She replied. He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her, kissing her excitedly. Just for that one look, she hoped the child really was his. He would be heartbroken if he found out otherwise, she thought. She watched as he got down on his knees to talk to the baby and she bit her bottom lip, fighting tears she was sure would come. But they didn't.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

At 17 weeks pregnant, Julianna wasn't sure how she had waited so long, but she was sitting in the waiting room of the doctor's office, waiting the results of an amnio test she had done 3 weeks ago. After the visits to the doctor's office, teaching her about the tests and what would be the best for her, she was anxious to get the results. Today was the day she would find out the baby's father. Somehow she had convinced Ron to keep her pregnancy from the press. He had been reluctant at first, but had agreed after she begged him. They had only told their families. No one else knew, including George.

She had seem him only once since their night together. That had been at a movie premiere. She had caught a glimpse of him across the room and had somehow managed to avoid him the whole night. That had been 9 weeks ago, and luckily for her, she wasn't showing then, so no one could have known. She chewed her bottom lip nervously as she waited for the nurse. Before she could finish her next thought, a door opened from the other side of the office and a nurse walked a few feet out.

"Julianna?" The nurse called out. Julianna stood and smiled nervously as she made her way to the nurse. The nurse smiled and lead her back to a small room. Julianna went into the room and saw that it was not a regular exam room that she had been in before. It was a smaller room, with a table and chairs with pictures of babies all over the walls. She realized this must be the room where the doctor came to give you the news, whatever that may be.

"Dr. Blackwell will be in shortly." The nurse said, snapping Julianna out of her thoughts. Julianna nodded and smiled slightly as the nurse closed the door behind her. Julianna pulled out a chair and sat down, placing her purse on the table and she crossed her hands nervously over her abdomen. In the past few months, she had fallen in love with her baby. At first she had been detached because she didn't know who the father was, but Ron had warmed her up to the baby. It continuously amazed her that there was a life growing inside her. She smiled shortly at the thought and knew she would love the baby regardless of the father. Just then the door opened and a woman of medium height, with straight, sleek black hair came in, a bright smile upon her face. Julianna recognized her as Dr. Blackwell.

"Hello Julianna." Dr. Blackwell said. Julianna smiled nervously.

"Hello." She replied. Dr. Blackwell took the seat beside Julianna and lay the results of the amnio in front of her on the table.

"How have you been?" She asked.

"Good." Julianna said genuinely, smiling.

"That's good. Well....we got the result of your amnio back."

"And?" Julianna swallowed.

"The Chromosome analysis was perfect, everything we had expected. There is nothing wrong with the baby as far as our tests tell, no disorders or diseases." Julianna let out a breath.

"Thank God." She said.

"And I know this test wasn't performed for this reason, but a lot of parents like to know. We've found out the baby's gender. Would you like to know?" Dr. Blackwell asked. Julianna had considered this earlier and had decided she would.

"Please." Julianna said. Dr. Blackwell nodded and smiled.

"You're having a little boy." Julianna grinned.

"That's wonderful. A boy." She sighed happily. She hadn't really cared whether she had a boy or a girl, but she was glad she knew. She could begin to pick out names and clothes and decorate the...She was cut from her thoughts by the doctor.

"Is there anything else you would like to ask about?" She asked.

"Oh. There was one thing." Julianna said.

"Hmm?" Dr. Blackwell asked.

"What blood type does the baby have?" Julianna asked.

"O positive." Dr. Blackwell said. Julianna's heart skipped a few beats.

"Oh God." She murmured. Dr. Blackwell watched her, confused. "Okay, um, if the baby's father has AB blood, is it possible for the baby to have O if I have A?" Julianna asks.

"I'm afraid not, why?"

"And if the baby's father has O, then it is very possible for the baby to have O, also, right?" Julianna asks.

"That's correct." Suddenly it dawned on her. "Do you not know who the father is?"

"I do now." Julianna said softly. She looks up at Dr. Blackwell. "If I tell you anything, are you allowed to tell anyone else?"

"No, there's a patient confidentiality rule. And besides, if you want me to keep something to myself, I will. I believe it is the right thing to do." She said. Julianna smiled.

"Thank you. Well, to say the least, my boyfriend of the past 10 years has AB blood." Dr. Blackwell raised her eyebrows and Julianna nodded. "I had a one night stand and ended up pregnant. With his child apparently."

"How do you know his blood type then?"

"He's a friend. We donated blood together." Dr. Blackwell nods. "Yeah, so, I'm in deep shit. My pregnancy hasn't been released to the press yet, so no one but my boyfriend, his family, and my family know about it. So to make this all the more confusing, the real father doesn't even know I am pregnant. So, he'll be surprised when I tell him since it was 17 weeks ago. We haven't talked at all since then and we used to talk all the time." She sighed. "I've only seen him once since that night. The thing is, I'm in love with him, not my boyfriend." Julianna leaned forward and buried her face into her hands. "What am I gonna do?"

"Well..that's the most complicated thing I've ever heard." Julianna nodded.

"Yeah. Probably that anyone's ever heard." She groaned softly and looked up at Dr. Blackwell. "At least I told someone." She smiled. "I've not told anyone about the one night thing, or this whole ordeal, so I'm glad to at least have got it off my chest. Now maybe I can figure out what to do."

"One piece of advice. Tell them both the truth. Telling the truth is always the best way." Dr. Blackwell touched Julianna's hand briefly before standing. Julianna stood up beside her.

"Thank you." Julianna said. Dr. Blackwell nodded and they walked out of the room together.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

Julianna didn't know what to do. She had wanted Ron to be the father of her child, only because he was so in love with the idea of becoming a father. But she didn't love him. Not really the way she should. Not the way she had somehow fallen in love with George. Even if she hadn't seen him for 9 weeks and hadn't talked to him for 17 weeks, she still loved him. And she was somewhat glad her baby was his, but she knew he probably wouldn't be glad. And neither would Ron. She knew she had to take Dr. Blackwell's advice and tell the both of them. How and when was her problem. Soon, she knew.

Her eyes filled with tears and she gripped tightly to the steering wheel of her little black car. She tried to blink them back, but the tears blurred her vision and she was blinded for a brief moment. When she regained her sight, she was on the wrong side of the road and was headed straight for a pickup truck. She swerved to the left, but the truck had swerved also, and he hit the back of her car, sending it spinning in circles. She heard the crunch of metal and saw the outside world flashing by before she briefly saw the tree in front of her. The next thing she knew was that an incredibly horrible pain had filled her body and her head had slammed against the window. She moaned and lifted her head. The front of her car was jammed into the base of a tree and the steering wheel was pressing her against the back of her seat. She was stuck. Oh God, the baby.

She blinked her eyes rapidly with the fresh tears that pooled in her eyes. Oh God, it hurt. She needed to get out. The baby. A terrible feeling filled her body, an emotion like no other she had ever felt. Fear for her child.

She was jerked out of her reverie when someone pounded on the window beside her head. She looked out a tall, broad shouldered man who was looking in on her.

"Are you okay?" She heard him shout. She shook her head weakly.

"Help me." She managed to say. She doubted he heard her, but apparently he understood or he read her lips.

"Someone called 911."

"Hurry." She managed to whisper. She rested her head against the back of the seat, to exhausted and hurt to hold it up any longer. She had a pounding headache and felt as blood trickled down her cheek. She was too tired to wipe it away, or investigate where it was coming from. She slipped into unconsciousness.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

She opened her eyes, only to be blinded with a bright light. She moaned and reached her hand up to try and feel her head, wondering why she was so lightheaded. Then she heard strange noises, which were familiar to her, but that she hadn't heard in awhile. She managed to open her eyes, as long as she squinted. She saw people rushing around her and talking above her. She felt people's hands on her. Touching and prodding.

"She's awake." A voice unknown to Julianna said.

"What's your name, ma'am?"

"Julianna Margulies." She managed to mumble. "Where am I?" She asked.

"The ER." Another voice foreign to her replied.

"What? Oh God. Oh no. Please, save my baby. I'm pregnant. 17 weeks." Julianna said, her eyes wide open now, ignoring the searing headache the light gave her. The doctor's exchanged looks over her body.

"Call Dr. Morgan up in OB. Tell her we need her down here now." One of the doctors said.

"Okay, honey, just lay back now. We'll check everything out. You'll be just fine." A hand soothed her hair back, avoiding the cut on her head. She looked at the person who was stroking her head and saw a large, black woman in a nurse's outfit. She reminded her oddly of Yvette Freeman in her 'Haleh outfit' for ER. She laid back and waited fearfully for the news they would deliver her about her baby.

"Is there anyone you would like us to call?" The nurse asked her.

"Yeah, uh. Could you call my boyfriend, Ron? His number is uh..um...190-483-2398. It's his cell phone. He's in New York right now. Wait!" She exclaimed. "Don't call him yet. Wait until we find out about the baby." Julianna said. The nurse was quick, Julianna noted. She had already written the number down. A small woman with short, dark blonde hair came into the room.

"We'll call him soon." The nurse said and handed the notepad in which she had written the number on to another nurse who was rushing around.

"What have we got?" The woman asked. Julianna watched as the three doctors conversed quietly together. Then they turned back to Julianna.

"We're going to do an ultrasound now, okay?" The male doctor asked, looking at Julianna. He was a tall, handsome man, who looked like he belonged playing sports instead of doctoring people. She nodded nervously.

"Okay." She said. They lifted her shirt back so her abdomen was exposed. A nurse rubbed the cool cream on her stomach and almost immediately the doctor pressed the small handle against her. Her eyes flicked to the screen as it was turned on. She watched the screen as the doctor moved the handle around until he stopped.

"There's the fetus." He murmured. Julianna's eyes filled with tears. Her little boy was on that screen. The doctor's watched alertly, waiting for any sign of movement on the screen. The doctor holding the paddle shook his head. "Amy?" He said quietly to the OB doctor. She nodded.

"There's no fetal heartbeat." She said.

"No, please." Julianna said, looking at the doctor's quickly before looking back at the screen. "Oh..." She began to cry quietly as she stared at the screen which held a picture of her son. He would never get to live. Never get to experience life. She closed her eyes and pressed her head back into the pillow as hot tears slid down the side of her face and onto the gurney. She barely felt as the doctor wiped her stomach off gently.

"Do you want me to call your boyfriend now?" The large nurse asked her, her voice warm and gentle. Julianna nodded, still not opening her eyes. "Okay, honey."

"Julianna?" The OB doctor asked, coming up beside her. She opened her eyes, staring blindly up at her.

"We have to have the baby removed now because it could cause an infection. Or it could try to eject itself and it will be an extremely painful experience for you." Julianna nodded.

"I understand." She said quietly.

"Is there anything you need first?" She asked. Julianna shook her head.

"No."

"Okay. Let's get her up to OB." Julianna closed her eyes and tried to block out everything going on around her.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

Julianna opened her eyes groggily, reaching one hand up to touch her cheek briefly. She struggled to remember where she was, what she was doing. She looked up as a nurse walked in.

"You're up." The nurse murmured. Julianna froze. Her son was gone. They had scraped him out of her, like some bad part of her body that couldn't stay. She lay gingerly back on the bed, finally realizing the extent of her injuries. Her whole body ached with every movement. Julianna settled her throbbing head back onto the pillow and watched the nurse.

"Has my boyfriend arrived yet?" Julianna asked. The nurse shook her head.

"Not yet." She replied. Julianna nodded. The nurse smiled at her and turned, leaving the room. Julianna looked at her surroundings, looking at the pale green walls and the ugly floral curtains. The room did not appeal to her taste, certainly at the moment. She felt the need for something bright and cheery, knowing even that would never satisfy the ache in her heart for the child she lost.

She couldn't help but blame herself. If only she hadn't started to cry in the damn car. If only she had been a little stronger, she could have protected the baby. If only she had loved the baby a little more. If only she had wanted him more at the beginning. If only...She choked on her tears, swallowing the huge lump in her throat. She let one lone tear drop before she wiped it away and shook her head, as if to shake the tears out of her head.

She looked up and saw a clock behind her head. Just in time for Entertainment Tonight. On the other wall was a TV. She looked around for the remote and couldn't see it. She pressed a button on the bed beside her and within seconds a nurse entered the room.

"Yes?"

"Could you turn on my TV, please?" Julianna asked.

"Sure. Here, I'll get the remote." The nurse said. She walked to a small stand that was a few feet away from Julianna and picked up the remote control for the television. Julianna had not caught sight of that on her search. The nurse turned the TV on and handed the remote to Julianna. Julianna thanked her quietly and began flipping through the channels in search of Entertainment Tonight.

"...and I'm Mary Hart." Julianna heard. She stopped it and watched alertly, waiting for them to mention something about her. She listened impatiently as they went through something about Britney Spears and another Hollywood divorce. Her ears perked up.

"We've gotten news that Julianna Margulies was involved in a car accident on Route 89. Her car was hit by a pickup truck and spun around a few times before she slammed the front of her car into a tree. Julianna was rushed to the hospital but is apparently fine. Just a few bruises and a really big dent in her car." Mary Hart giggled sweetly as if she had told a wonderful joke. Julianna felt like slapping her. Hell, she felt like slapping anyone. "The other driver was not injured." Mary Hart moved onto something else. At least they hadn't mentioned anything about the baby. Julianna sighed and clicked the TV off, watching the screen fade from gray to black. She sighed and placed the remote beside her on the stand.

Julianna's head jerked up as the door of her room burst open. Ron flew in and saw her.

"Oh God, Jules!" He said and stopped beside her. She smiled weakly at him.

"Hey." She said.

"Oh baby...I'm sorry." Ron said and took her hand into his. He sat beside her on the bed and brought his hand up to stroke the bandage on her forehead. She let the tears well up in her eyes. With him there, no one would care if she cried. Ron wouldn't care. He would probably even expect it.

"I'm sorry, Ron. I am so sorry." Julianna said. She was sorry for more reasons than one. She was sorry that the child he thought was his, wasn't. She was sorry he was mourning for the child that wasn't his. She was sorry for not telling him.

"It's okay, shhh.." Ron said leaning closer to her. They held each other as she wept and he tried to comfort her.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

Julianna was released from the hospital the next afternoon with clear orders to get some rest from the doctor. They had kept her to make sure the bump on her head didn't turn out to be something worse. And they had kept her to make sure she wouldn't have any allergic reactions to the medications they gave her.

They had told her that her body would take longer to heal then she would think it would. Her body would have to readjust after having the baby and back to no longer being pregnant. Her bruise across her whole stomach from just under her breasts, to just above her waistline would take awhile to heal and go away. She was instructed to put medicine on the cut on her head. It hadn't been deep enough for stitches, so she just had a bandage and was supposed to put medicine on it twice a day, changing the bandages each time.

Julianna felt a distance between herself and Ron. It was so teeny tiny that she barely recognized it, but he had put a distance between them, probably because she lost a baby that he thought was his. Maybe it was just his way of dealing with it, Julianna thought. She sighed. Right now it didn't really matter if he put a distance between them, because soon enough she would have to tell Ron that the child wasn't his and George that the child was his. She sighed and snuggled farther into the covers of her bed.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

George had been in Europe for the past three weeks. His mother and father had been vacationing there. So he had gone out to do a commercial and then spent some time with his parents and vacationed alone. He had just gotten back this morning.

He flipped to the last page of his magazine, and finding nothing of interest, threw it on the table in front of him and looked at the television in which the 6 o' clock news was on. He watched, bored and not quite paying attention.

"We have just received some more information from inside sources about Julianna Margulies' car accident last week." George shot up on the couch. "Julianna wrecked her car out on Route 89 last week and supposedly she was fine, with a few cuts and bruises, nothing serious. But we've gotten news that she was 17 weeks pregnant and the baby died due to the accident and had to be removed. Now onto...." George sat, staring at the screen as his mind calculated it. 17 weeks would have been......He jumped up off the couch, pulled his shoes on clumsily and grabbed his keys before heading out to the garage and hopping into his Range Rover.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

George pounded on the door to Julianna's house loudly, hoping she was home.

"I'm coming." He heard her call out. He stopped pounding, hoping from one foot to the other. She opened the door slowly, apparently having seen who it was through the peephole.

"George." She murmured. He pushed into the house, grabbing hold of her and touching her upper body everywhere. "What're you doing?" She asked quietly.

"Jules, why didn't you tell me about the accident?" He asked.

"It wasn't such a big deal. Only a few bruises and a cut." She said, repeating the news he had heard earlier.

"No, I mean about the baby." George said. She froze, her face paling.

"How did you find out?" She whispered.

"It was on the 6 o' clock news." He said.

"Oh God." She murmured under her breath.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked again. She didn't answer him, just pulled out of his reach and wrapped her arms across her chest, hugging herself. She looked away from him, not meeting his gaze. "Is the baby Ron's?" George asked. She hesitated before her small voice filled the room.

"The morning of the accident, I went to the doctor's office by myself. I had been going to a specialist for about a month and Ron never knew. I had an amnio done and got the results back that day. The baby was healthy, a beautiful baby." She smiled slightly. "Dr. Blackwell told me I was having a boy." She murmured. "Did you know that if one person has type A blood and one person has AB, they cannot have a child with O? But if one person has A blood and the other person has O, it's likely they will have a child with O. Ron doesn't have O. The baby did." Julianna whispered. George knew he had type O blood, he remembered from their visit to the Red Cross to give blood.

"So I left and was in the car when I began to cry." Her bottom lip trembled. "My vision was blurred for a brief second. When I managed to see what was going on, the truck swerved and I swerved, but he still hit the back end of me and I was rammed into a tree, the front of my car crunching up like tin foil." She closed her eyes as if she could see it happening in front of her. "The whole front of the car was pushed up against me, pinning me against the seat, the steering wheel jammed into my stomach. I remember a sharp pain and blood trickling down my cheek. Then a man knocked on my window and said someone had called 911. I passed out and didn't wake up until I was in the ER. I told them I was pregnant and they checked the baby through an ultrasound. There was no heartbeat." She let out a painful sigh and opened her eyes, looking at him. "I lost the baby. Our baby." Her voice was so quiet he had to strain to hear her whisper. He moved towards her, holding his arms out for her.

"C'mere." He whispered. She wrapped her arms around him, as if she had been pulled by a magnetic force. She buried her head into his shoulder and let the tears flow. He held her gently, aware that she was probably still sore from the accident. She sobbed, clutching him, her hands digging into his back.

"Shhh..." George said, rocking her slightly from side to side. She cried desperately, the first real cry she had allowed herself since the accident. Sure, she had cried that night with Ron. And she had let tears fill her eyes but she would blink them away, not allowing herself the privilege of crying because her son would never get to. She would never hear his first cry as he entered the world. She would never get to comfort him when he fell down as a toddler, learning to walk.

But now, in the arms of the man she loved, the father of her dead baby, she could cry. She wasn't even sure why she could under those circumstances. She began to calm down, the tears no longer pouring down her cheeks, merely trickling. He continued rocking her until he could no longer feel the slight tremors of her crying spout. She was resting in his arms, exhausted from the harsh sobs that had filled her body. She hadn't slept much in the past week. Julianna felt cozy in his arms and closed her eyes, sighing softly. He shifted slightly under her and she realized he probably wasn't very comfortable. She paused briefly before she moved, backing a few inches away from him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" George asked her quietly, his voice gentle and not accusing. She didn't move or say a word, uncertain of how to answer the question. She shook her head slightly.

"I don't know." She murmured. He sighed and looked down slightly.

"Did you think I wouldn't want the baby?" He asked, looking back up at her. She looked down this time, studying the gray of his t-shirt. Then she nodded slightly.

"And..I didn't know if the baby was yours or Rons. I didn't want to tell you that you could be a father, when I didn't know if you were." She murmured quietly, backing a little farther away from him so she was standing a good couple of feet away.

"But you could tell Ron." George bowed his head in shame.

"He never said that he didn't ever want children. You did. I..you have to know that it was very difficult for me to do anything. I wanted to just leave and never come back, so I wouldn't have to face either of you. I couldn't decide what to do. I was...I'm sorry." Julianna said. He didn't say anything for a moment, ashamed that he had let any of this happen. Had he not left that night, none of this would be going on right now, he doubted.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you didn't think you could tell me. I'm sorry for leaving that night." He sighed. "You deserve an explanation." He paused. "I don't really even have a good one. I was...shocked to say the least. I mean, I didn't ever expect that to happen. And when I laid there, watching you sleep, I.....I panicked. I didn't know what the hell we were going to do in the morning. I didn't want to have the talk we would have had. It would have been embarrassing among other things. As you know, I'm not one for embarrassment. But really, none of that justifies me leaving you, without even so much as a goodbye. I regret leaving and I'm sorry for hurting you." He said. She looked up at him.

"I don't..." She didn't finish the sentence. "It doesn't matter anymore. What I've got to figure out now, is how to tell Ron. I have to figure out what he will do now. And then I have to figure out what the hell to do with myself. I've been moping around all week. Yes, I lost my child, but I have to get on with my life. I'll always be sad when I think about what could have been but I have to do something." Julianna said.

"I want kids." He murmured. She looked up at him sharply, her hazel eyes burning into his chocolate ones.

"What?" She whispered.

"I want children, I think. It's just that, I've always told everyone that I don't because I want children with the woman I am in love with and plan on being with forever. And I don't think I'd be a very good father, but.." He sighed. "I wish you would have told me, Jules. He was..." George hesitated. "He was my son, too, even if I didn't know about him until after he was...gone." Julianna's eyes filled with fresh tears as he looked at her.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. The sound of a door opening down the hall by the kitchen had them both looking over in surprise. Heavy footsteps were heard coming down the hall and Julianna tried to blink back the tears. Ron walked around the corner and stopped, not expecting to see either of them in the living room.

"Oh, hey George." Ron said.

"Hey." George said, backing a few more feet away from Julianna and tucking his hands into his back pockets.

"Haven't seen you around much." Ron said, slipping his leather jacket off.

"Yeah. I was..uh, in Europe the past 3 weeks." Ron nodded and Julianna looked at him in surprise.

"Oh really? Was it nice?" Ron asked, moving into the kitchen and picking up a small pile of mail that Julianna had left on the table. He began leafing through it.

"Yeah, it was great. My parents were there, so I visited them a little bit and did a commercial." George said.

"Oh really, what for?" Ron asked, looking up at him.

"Uh, a car commercial." George said. Ron nodded and glanced at Julianna. She was staring down at the floor, listening to their small talk. Ron's eyebrows knit together.

"So, just out of curiosity, why are you here?" Ron asked.

"Actually..I was watching the 6 o' clock news and I heard about Julianna's wreck." George said. Julianna noted he kept the bit about the baby to himself.

"They're still talking about that?" Ron asked. George looked helplessly at Julianna who looked up at Ron, smiling weakly.

"Somehow they found out about the baby." Julianna said.

"Oh." Ron said. Julianna nodded and Ron looked at George. George bowed his head, not making eye contact. Julianna let out a sigh.

"Ron.." She said softly and George looked up, looking at her. Ron looked at Julianna. She bit her bottom lip nervously. "There is something you need to know." Julianna said. Ron's brows knit together.

"Yeah?"

"Why don't we sit." Julianna said. Ron gave her a confused look but sat on the couch. She sat on a chair across from him and George sat in a chair on the other side of the room. George leaned forward, studying the rug on the floor intently, as if he was fascinated by it. He really didn't want to be here for this, but he figured it was good that he was, Julianna probably needed some support.

"What?" Ron asked.

"The reason I was on the wrong side of the road was because I had been crying and couldn't see there for a brief moment." Ron squinted slightly, the information new to him.

"Why were you crying?" He asked. She sighed and bit her lip.

"For the past month, I had been talking to some doctors over at the Los Angeles Pregnancy Specialists office." Ron raised his eyebrows. "I wanted to have an amnio test done."

"What? Why didn't you tell me?" Ron asked. Julianna cleared her throat softly.

"I just...I had to do it alone. I went to find out if the baby was okay, of course, but that wasn't the main reason." Julianna withheld the information about the baby being a boy. Ron didn't really need to know that. "The baby was okay, though." She sighed nervously. "I went to go find out the baby's blood type."

"What?" Ron asked. "What the hell for?"

"I have type A blood. Ron, you have type AB blood."

"Yes, I know that. What does that have to do with anything?" Ron asked.

"George has type O." Julianna said. Ron glanced briefly at George who was studying the carpet still.

"So what?" Ron asked.

"The baby had O." Julianna whispered. Ron sat, staring at her silently, as he struggled to fit the pieces together.

"What the hell? Are you trying to tell me I was not the father of the baby?" Ron asked, his temper flaring and his face becoming red with anger. "But George is?!" Julianna looked away but she nodded slightly, tears flooding her eyes again. Why, oh dear God, why had she let this get so out of hand? George watched the two of them carefully, Julianna looking alone and terrified. "All this time I was mourning a child that you lost and I thought it was my child. For a whole week, I've mourned and for 18 weeks I've thought that child was mine. It was your fault you lost the baby, but of course, that doesn't matter to me anymore because it wasn't mine." Julianna's tears spilled over onto her cheeks and streaked down her face.

"Don't you dare say it was her fault." George said, his voice cold, speaking for the first time since the beginning of the conversation. Ron and Julianna both look at him.

"You stay out of this." Ron said angrily.

"I don't think so. I'm involved in this too. And you better never say that it was her fault she had a miscarriage. It happens to millions of women every day and they did nothing to deserve it, or nothing wrong to lose their babies." George glares at Ron. "I can't believe you could sit here and say that to the person you supposedly love." The two men stared at each other, their eyes dark and angry, before Ron stood. He moved into the kitchen and grabbed his leather jacket and keys and walked down the hall way, his shoes pounding the floor in anger. George watched as Ron's body glided out of the house and the door slammed behind him. Immediately George got up, moving to Julianna, who had her head bent and was crying silently. George dropped to his knees in front her and took her face into his big hands.

"It's not your fault." George said and wiped away the tears spilling from her eyes with his thumbs.

"I'm sorry." Julianna whispered. George shook his head and pulled her down onto his lap on the floor. She curled up into him, her head on his shoulder and chest and her hand gripped his shirt.

"I don't blame you." George said.

"I know." But I blame myself, she finished silently. George sighed and then paused.

"He'll be back, Jules. He'll realize he was wrong." Julianna shook her head and silently hoped he wouldn't realize he was wrong. She even hoped he wouldn't be back. But she knew that he would be back, even if he didn't think he was wrong. She sat on George, his arms around her, until she fell asleep. George watched her sleep before he decided he should leave. He stood, her still in his arms. He laid her gently on the couch and bent over her face. He brushed his hand against it. She stirred slightly.

"Jules?" George asked, his hand moving down to her shoulder as he shook her slightly. She didn't wake. He took a good long look at her with her clothes still on, wondering what her bruise looked like. Wanting to see her naked again. He sighed and shook it off. And shook her harder. "Julianna..." He said. She moaned slightly and opened her eyes, looking up at him. "I think I should probably leave before he comes back. I don't think it will be such a pretty sight." Julianna nodded.

"Okay." She said, although the last thing she wanted was for him to leave her. He bent down and kissed her cheek gently.

"Everything's gonna be alright." George said.

"I hope so." She said as he stood. He smiled at her and took his own keys off the table. He still had his shoes on and in his attempt to leave hadn't brought his coat.

"Bye." He murmured, smiling lightly. He didn't want to leave.

"Bye George." She returned a weak smile. He opened the front door and looked at her before he exited the house. She sighed and buried her face into the pillows on the couch. Ron would be back eventually and she would have to be prepared for their argument by then.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

Ron walked into the house, closing the door quietly behind him. He saw Julianna standing in the living room, looking out the window that led to their pool. She was facing the pool and stayed very still. He began to wonder if she even knew he was home.

"I'm sorry." Julianna said quietly. "There's nothing more I can say. I didn't plan to sleep with him. We got caught up in everything and didn't think and it just so happened that a child came out of it. I understand that you can't be sympathetic towards me and I don't blame you for that. I would be upset if I were you also. Maybe losing the baby was my punishment for all of this, I don't know." Julianna continued looking out the window, not turning to face him. "I should have told you earlier. I realize that I've made a big mistake by waiting so long." Julianna turned and faced him. "I was scared and I felt so alone. I was stupid." Julianna shrugged slightly. "I don't expect forgiveness from you or George." The two looked at each other some more. Ron no longer knew what to say to her. He had planned an argument, but she had basically covered everything he had wanted to yell about. So he shrugged instead.

"I don't forgive you." He said honestly. "What you did was wrong and it hurt me terribly. First of all, I thought that baby was mine. Secondly, I thought my child died. Then it turned out it wasn't even my baby." Ron sighed. "And I don't forgive you for sleeping with George, because if I was really enough for you, you wouldn't have had felt the need to sleep with someone else, let alone George." Julianna nodded and looked down.

"I understand." She said. It was exactly what she had expected to hear.

"I just have one question." Ron said. Julianna looked back up at him. "Why George?" Julianna stared at him silently, completely thrown off guard by this question.

"We were drunk and it just happened. I don't know why it was George...or why it happened."

"You could have slept with anyone. Why did it happen to be your best friend?" Ron asked. Because I'm in love with him, the thought ran silently through Julianna's head but she didn't say it out loud. Julianna shrugged.

"I don't know why any of this happened. I don't know why George happened to be my 'victim'. I don't know why!" Julianna said exasperated and annoyed with him. "I know I caused all of this somehow, but I don't know what for. I don't know why it had to happen to the three of us. But it did and there's nothing I can do about it anymore! It's done with and I cannot change that! And I'm sorry if you can't accept that." She turned and walked away from him, anger suddenly radiating from her. She was angry at the world who took her child. She was angry that she loved George so much it hurt and he didn't seem to love her at all. She was angry that Ron had to bother her about it. He didn't understand and never would. She wished he would leave her alone. But most of all, she was angry with herself for letting her baby die and for letting this drag on so long.

"I don't know if I want to accept it. I don't know if I want to forgive you for anything of this. Ever."

"I don't care anymore!" Julianna said, turning back to him, her eyes flashing. "If you want out of this relationship, just say it please! It'll save us both a lot of fucking trouble!"

"Fine! I want out of it! I can't trust you anymore!" Ron said.

"Thank you!" Julianna yelled and stormed out of the room. She went into the study, shut the door behind her and locked it. She stood just on the other side of the door and covered her face with her hands and wept silently.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

By the way, I know absolutely nothing about amniocentesis tests, so if any of the information in this story is incorrect, then I apologize. I also realize Julianna would probably not go through the amniocentesis alone, but this is the way the story needed to be played out.

oxoxoxoxoxoxo

Next