Carol hurried into the ER carrying her 7 and a half month old son, Andrew, in her arms. He was screaming at the top of his lungs as she tried to comfort him. She rushed past the desk.
"You're..."
"Late! I know. I'm sorry Kerry, give me five minutes. I'll stay late to make up for it." Carol said to Kerry, rushing past the desk with Andrew. She got onto the elevator and pressed the button for the 3rd floor. She sighs, thanking God for letting the elevator be empty. She brings Andrew up to her face and kisses him.
"Andy, sweetie..calm down. What's the matter?" Carol asks. She puts the baby into her arms and rocks him, pushing his diaper bag up onto her shoulder as it slips. He finally starts to calm down. The elevator opens. She looks down at him whimpering as she rushes into daycare.
"Beth!" Carol calls out, walking quickly into the room.
"Oh hey Carol." Beth says. Carol hands Andrew to her.
"I'm late. I gotta go. I'll be coming for him a little late today because I have to make up the time." Carol says. Beth nods.
"Okay. I'll call you if we have any problems." Beth says.
"Thanks!" Carol says and walks out of the room. She decides to take the stairs so she can get to the ER quicker.
+o+o+o+o+
"Hey Kerry." Carol says.
"Carol." Kerry says.
"I need to talk to you." Carol says.
"Okay, I'm available now. Want to go into the lounge?" Kerry asks.
"Sure." Carol says smiling. They walk into the lounge and Kerry turns to Carol. "I'm sorry about being late this morning but I'll stay thirty minutes later to make up for my time." Carol says.
"That's fine. I'm actually very pleased with you. Considering you having Andrew, you haven't been late too often." Kerry says.
"I'm glad you're not upset. Okay, well I was wondering if I could have tomorrow off. Right now I'm extremely exhausted. Andrew was teething last night and I was up with him all night. Tomorrow I wanted to get some sleep so that I can come back refreshed." Carol says.
"Sure Carol. If you feel that's what you need, then go ahead." Kerry says.
"Thanks Kerry. I really appreciate it. And I promise not to make a habit out of it." Carol says.
"Good. And you're welcome." Kerry says. Carol smiles.
"Well I'm going to get back to work now." Carol says, as she turns and walks out. Kerry follows her out as they continue working.
+o+o+o+o+
Carol was home alone with Andrew the next day.
"Hey Andy. How's my boy?" Carol said, coming into his room the next morning. He didn't make any noises, just stared at her.
"What's the matter baby?" Carol asks, picking him up. He still doesn't make any of his normal sweet baby noises. She sits down with him in the rocker and her hand brushes against his forehead. He seems hot. She stands up and gets out the thermometer. She sticks it in his ear and waits a few seconds.
"100.3. Aw, does my baby not feel good?" Carol asks, rocking him close to her chest. She picks up him and leans him over her shoulder. He throws up.
"Aw, Andy! You should have warned me." Carol says. She smiles at the baby and takes him over to his changing table. She lays him down and lifts her shirt up over her head. She picks him up again and sits down in the rocker, moving her bra to the side, to feed him. When she puts his mouth to her breast, he doesn't move and she starts to get worried.
"Come on Andy......You must really feel sick." Carol says. She stands up, and takes him into her room. She pulls a clean shirt up over her head and takes him downstairs. She lays down on the couch and turns on a movie, cradling Andy to her chest. She watches him carefully as he falls asleep. She cannot keep her eyes open and she falls asleep also.
+o+o+o+o+
Carol wakes up a few hours later, to a dark room with just the TV making some soft background noise. She feels her son in her arms and she looks down. She can tell something is wrong but she cannot see very well so she leans over and flips on the light. When she sees her son, she almost screams.
"Oh God. Andy....baby..Wake up!" Carol says. The little boy's lips are blue and she stands up. She feels for a pulse but only feels a weak one.
"Oh God. Andy, Mommy is so sorry." Carol says. She runs out to the car and jumps in. She holds him in one arm while driving as fast as possible with the other arm. A few minutes later she pulls up to the ER. She jumps out of the car, looking at her son.
"Someone help me! Help me!" Carol says running into the ER in a panicked state. Cleo and Mark are standing by the nurse's station and they come running when they see Carol.
"Carol...what happened?" Mark asks. Cleo takes the little boy from her arms as the three of them run to a trauma room.
"He..he had a small fever..." Carol says sobbing. "He wouldn't eat. I took him downstairs and we fell asleep on the couch for about two hours. When I woke up, he wouldn't wake up and he was blue. He had a weak pulse. Mark, save my baby. Please Mark, don't let Andrew die!" Carol says.
"I won't Carol. Don't worry!" Mark says. Cleo and him start working on the little baby as Carter and Chuny run into the room. They immediately swarm around Andrew and she can barely see him. Carol has her hand over her mouth and she is nearly blinded with tears.
"Andy. Oh God. I am so sorry." Carol whispers.
"We need the paddles!" Mark calls out. Carol gasps.
"Oh no! Mark save him!" Carol says.
"Charge to 30!" Mark says. Chuny nods and turns it to 30. Mark shocks the little baby. The monitor is still flatline.
"MARK, SAVE HIM!" Carol screams.
"Charge to 35!" Mark says. Chuny does so. He presses the paddles to the little babies chest. They watch the monitor and finally a soft, but steady heartbeat fills the screen.
"Oh God." Carol says. Her legs almost give way out from under her but she doesn't fall.
"He's stable. Get him up to the Pedes ICU." Mark says pulling his gloves off. Chuny nods.
"I'll get him." She says. Mark nods and walks to Carol.
"I want to go with him!" Carol says but Mark holds her back.
"You can go in a minute Carol." Mark says. Carol hangs her head in defeat. He leads her out of the trauma room and to the lounge. He sits her down on the couch.
"Tell me everything that happened." Mark says.
"When I woke up this morning I was surprised that I hadn't heard him cry since about 3. So I went in and he was already awake. He wasn't his normal self. He was quiet and not cooing at me or moving much. I picked up him and he puked on me. Then I tried to feed him and he wouldn't. He had a temperature of 100.3. I figured he just was sick and I promised if it got worse I would bring him in. But I was so exhausted that I fell asleep with him on my stomach. When I woke up he was unconscious. His lips were blue and his pulse was weak. I couldn't wake him up, so I drove here as fast as I could." Carol says. She is sobbing and he wraps her in his arms.
"It's okay Carol. He's going to be fine." Mark says.
"Will he have brain damage?" Carol asks.
"We can't be sure until we get the CT's back. But I think Andy will be fine." Mark says.
"You think?" Carol asks. She starts to cry harder.
"We can't be sure until we get the CT's. You know that Carol." Mark says.
"I don't know what I would do without him Mark. He's my life. I love that little boy with my whole entire heart." Carol wails. He hugs her tighter.
"I know. He's going to be fine." Mark says. He holds her until she calms down.
"Can I go see him now?" Carol whispers.
"Yes. Let me take you." Mark says. She nods and he helps her stand. She walks slowly with him beside her. She keeps her head down and he motions for everyone to stay back.
+o+o+o+o+
Carol slowly walks up to the little bed her son is in. Mark stays back, giving her some privacy.
"Hey Andy. It's Mommy." Carol says. She lays her hand on her son's stomach. "I am so sorry sweetheart. I didn't know you were that sick." Carol says. She rubs her hand across his tummy. A tear slips down her cheek.
"I love you baby." Carol says. She just stands and watches him for a few minutes. She then tears herself away from him and walks out of the room. Mark is standing outside.
"Are you alright?" He asks. She shakes her head.
"Of course not. I need to make a phone call." Carol says. She turns and leaves Mark standing there. He shakes his head and goes into the room.
+o+o+o+o+
Carol walks outside. She takes her cell phone from her purse, which she had gotten shortly after Andrew was born, in case of an emergency. She slowly dials Doug's number.
"Hello?" She hears him say through the phone. She takes a deep breath.
"Hey Doug." She says.
"Carol. Hey." He says, sounding surprised.
"How are you?" She asks.
"I'm fine. Carol..what's wrong?" Doug asks sensing the tone of her voice.
"I um.....there was...ugh.." Carol starts, not sure how to put this. All she wants to say is how much of a horrible mother she is for letting this happen.
"What Carol? What happened?" Doug asks, the panic in his voice rising.
"Today I brought Andy into the ER." Carol starts.
"WHAT HAPPENED?" Doug asks panicking.
"Doug wait...he's fine. Just let me talk please." Carol says, her eyes filling with tears.
"Okay. Go ahead." Doug whispers.
"Today he wasn't feeling well. He puked on me and he had a temperature of 100.3. We fell asleep together on the couch and when I woke up he was unconscious. His lips were blue and his pulse was weak. I brought him into the ER and Mark, Cleo, and Carter worked on him. They had to shock him twice but he's okay now. They had to take him up to the Pedes ICU and that's where he is now. Mark hasn't gotten the CT's back yet, but he says they should be okay." Carol says. Tears start to stream down her face now.
"Oh God Carol. Are you alright?" He asks.
"I..no Doug. God, I am such a horrible mother. How could I have let that happen? I should have brought him in when I knew he had a fever!" Carol says wailing.
"Carol there was nothing you could do about that. If you had brought him in sooner there's no way to know if he still wouldn't have gone into respiratory distress." Doug says.
"Yeah but I could have at least had him here when it happened. I don't even know how long he was like that!" Carol says.
"Carol, calm down. He's fine. You said so yourself." Doug says.
"I'm a horrible mother." Carol says.
"No. You're not. Don't ever say that. I saw how you were with him when I came to visit that once. Don't ever think that of yourself." Doug says. Her sobs slowly subside as he lets her cry.
"I'm sorry Doug." Carol says.
"Hey, it's okay. Anytime." Doug says.
"I better go. I need to get back to him." Carol says.
"Call me with any news! Please Carol!" Doug says.
"I promise." Carol says softly.
"Goodbye." Doug says softly.
"Bye Doug." She whispers, then hangs up. She dries her eyes and walks up to her baby's room.
+o+o+o+o+
Doug sits down on the couch in his living room after the call from Carol. He cannot believe that his son almost died today and that he never would have gotten to say goodbye. Tears spring into his eyes as he thinks about all that he has missed. He thinks about the times he had gotten to hold his son. When Andrew was one month old, he had finally convinced Carol to let him come see them. He had stayed for Christmas. He looks at the mantle above the fireplace. He sees the picture of Carol, holding Andrew, in front of her Christmas tree. He smiles and stands up, walking to the picture. He picks it up and brings it closer to his face. His whole world is in that picture. Doug sets the photo down and turns around, surveying the house. It is pretty bare. Doug hasn't taken the time to fix it up, he hadn't had the energy. He tried to work as much as possible so that he wouldn't have to be home in this empty house, alone. He rubs his hand across his face and he knows what he has to to do. He sits down on the couch and picks up the telephone.
+o+o+o+o+
Carol walked into Andrew's room.
"Hey Mark." She says softly. He turns to her and smiles.
"I was just about ready to come find you. Look's like this little booger is waking up." Mark says. Carol looks at Andrew and smiles. He wraps his hand around her finger.
"I love you." Carol said simply. She bent down and kissed his forehead. Mark smiles. A doctor walks through the doors.
"We got the head CT back." The doctor said, walking up to them. Carol and Mark turned to him intently.
"No brain damage. He should be just fine. We can release him in a couple of days." The doctor says. Carol smiles, relieved.
"Thank you." Carol says.
"No problem." The doctor answers and smiles. He picks up the chart, writing something down, smiles at Carol, then walks out.
+o+o+o+o+
"Hello?" We hear Doug's voice ask through the phone.
"Doug. It's me." Carol says.
"Hey Carol. How is he?" Doug asked.
"No brain damage. I get to take him home the day after tomorrow." Carol says. He sighs, relieved.
"Thank God! How are you holding up?" He asks.
"I'm fine. Better then before." Carol says.
"That's good Carol." Doug says. She smiles.
"Yeah. Well...I know we haven't talked long, but I really want to get back up to Andrew. I'll call you later, okay?" Carol says.
"Yeah. That's fine." Doug says smiling, thinking about the next couple of days.
"Alright. Bye Doug." Carol says.
"Tell Andy I love him. Bye Carol." Doug says.
"Goodbye." Carol says hanging up. She smiles and walks back to Andrew's room.
+o+o+o+o+
"Mark, can you help me!?" Carol calls out to Mark.
"Sure, what do you need?" He asks.
"Can you please carry his bag for me? He won't settle down and I don't know if I can carry both him and his bag." Carol says.
"Sure thing." Mark says, picking up Andrew's bag.
"Andy..come on buddy. Sit still." Carol said pulling his hand away from her hair. He just grins and giggles his baby giggle. She can't help but smile.
"You look just like your daddy." Carol whispered into his ear. She followed Mark out of the room.
+o+o+o+o+
"Thanks Mark." Carol said as they put Andrew into his carseat.
"For?" He asks.
"For being here for me. And for helping me with this little rugrat." Carol said. Mark smiles.
"No problem Carol." He says. She smiles and then hugs him.
"Well I better go." Carol says. He nods and smiles and she walks around to the other side of the car getting into the driver's seat. She starts up the car and waves to him. He waves back and she goes home.
+o+o+o+o+
Carol is sitting in the living room, a few hours after she brought Andrew home. She has the TV on but she is really playing with Andrew. She has a toy and she is hiding it from him behind her back. She brings it back out and puts it close to his face.
"Boo!" She says. He gets this wicked baby grin on his face and giggles evilly. His face turns bright red. She throws her head back and laughs. He reaches for the toy and she gives it to him. He sticks it into his mouth and looks up at her. She smiles at him and ruffles his little curls on his head. Just then the doorbell rings. She stands up, putting Andy on the floor.
"I'll be right back little boy." Carol says. She walks towards the door, watching him. He just lays on his stomach and chews on the toy. She smiles and opens the door.
"Hey Carol." Doug says. Her jaw drops.
"Doug." She says. He chuckles.
"Surprised?" He asks.
"What are you doing here?" She asks.
"I wanted to see my little boy for myself." Doug says. She steps back.
"Come in." Carol says, opening the door for him. He steps through and sets his suitcase on the floor by the door. He walks in a few feet and Carol closes the door. She looks towards the living room. Andrew has rolled over onto his back and he is chewing intently on his teether that Carol was playing with him earlier. His legs are in the air, waving around. Doug spots him and chuckles. Carol smiles and bends down, picking Andrew up. She gently pulls the teething ring away from him and he goes for the next best thing. Her hair. Doug chuckles as she pulls his slobbery hands away from her hair. She reaches down and picks up a towel she has laying on the coffee table. She wipes his hands up and he smiles at her. She grins back at him and kisses his nose. Then she turns to Doug and hands Andrew to him.
"Here ya go." She says. He takes his son into his arms. The boy smiles and reaches up, smacking Doug's nose lightly with his hand. Doug chuckles.
"Want some coffee?" Carol asks.
"Sure." He says.
"Have a seat. I'll be right back." Carol says. He smiles and sits down on the couch. He can hear Carol in the kitchen but he is paying attention to his son.
"Hey pal. You've gotten so big!" Doug says. Andrew smiles goofily at him. "You look just like your mom. But that's good." Doug says. Andrew blows bubbles out of his mouth and does his wicked giggle. Doug laughs as Carol comes back into the room.
"Did he just do his laugh?" Carol asks. Doug, still chuckling, nods.
"Yes." Doug says. Carol giggles.
"It always makes me laugh when he does that." Carol says. Doug smiles and lays Andrew down on the floor. The baby scoots around on his stomach and arms. Doug takes his coffee from Carol and takes a sip of it. The baby finds a piece of fuzz on the floor and puts his mouth right down onto the carpet. Carol stands up, puts her coffee down and picks him up.
"Oh, no you don't babe!" Carol says. She opens his mouth and picks out a piece of hair that found it's way in. The baby grins and she smiles. She sits him on her lap and bounces him up and down. He giggles and reaches for her.
"Ba!" He says. She smiles and pulls him to her chest. He snuggles his head into her shoulder, sticking his thumb into his mouth and stares at Doug. Doug chuckles. She rubs his back and Doug watches him.
"He's getting sleepy." Doug whispers.
"It's about time. Ever since I brought him home this morning, he hasn't stopped moving." Carol says.
"He was happy to get out of there." Doug says. She smiles.
"Yeah." She says. She kisses the little boy's shoulder.
"Can I put him to bed?" Doug asks.
"Yeah sure." Carol said.
"Did you keep his crib in your room?" Doug asks, remembering the last time he was there.
"Yeah." Carol said. She gently handed Andrew to him and he smiled, cradling the young boy to his chest. They walked back to the bedroom and he kissed the little boy's head, and laid him down. Carol walked out of the room and he stayed a minute or so more, just watching his baby sleep. He exited the room and walked out to where Carol was.
"Thank you." He says.
"You're welcome." She smiles.
"I, ugh...Can we talk?" Doug asks.
"Sure." She says smiling. He smiles back nervously and they sit down onto the couch.
"I um...well...I know that this visit was unexpected but....after you called me and told me about Andrew, I realized that he could've died and I never would have gotten to see him or to say goodbye. I've missed out on so much of his life and I realized that I can't stay away from him. Before you say anything, let me finish." Doug says to Carol. She nods silently. "A few days ago Mercy Hospital called and offered me a job. I told them I wasn't sure, but I would get back to them in a week. Then you called about Andrew and that's when I knew what I had to do. So I called them back and I am now the new pedes ER doctor at Mercy." Doug finishes. She smiles happily.
"That's great Doug. Congratulations." Carol says. He smiles.
"Will you let me see Andrew?" Doug asks. Carol puts her hand over his.
"I would never keep you from him." Carol says. He smiles and hugs her.
"Thank you." He says, pulling away from her. "I'm going to get an apartment that is as close to here as possible so I can come see him a lot. I don't expect you to just change your life all around so that I can stay here, but I would like to see him, a lot........And I want to see you too." Doug says. She smiles shyly.
"Like I said, I'm not going to keep you from your son. Doug...I think it's really great that you want to take part in his life. I'm not going to keep either of you away from that." She reaches up and touches his face. "Doug, I want you to understand that I love you. I just don't think that right now, I can forgive you for everything and take you back. But I also love my son and I don't want him to grow up without you." Carol says.
"I know. And I understand that Carol. I'll wait if I have to." Doug says. He kisses her hand lightly and then stands up.
"I think that I should go....I need to get a hotel." Doug says.
"Why don't you stay for dinner. We can go out somewhere or we can just stay here." Carol offers. He smiles.
"Why don't we go out....we don't have to go anywhere fancy or anything. I just want to take him out....if that's okay with you." Doug says, knowing full well that's it's her that is truly responsible for Andrew. She smiles.
"Sure." She says. He smiles.
"Thank you Carol." He says.
"For?" She asks.
"For giving me Andrew. For being so patient with me. For letting me see him." Doug says. She smiles shyly.
"No problem." Carol answers.
+o+o+o+o+
"Open up Andy." Doug says. Andrew is sitting beside the booth in a highchair as Doug attempts to feed him a little soft french fry. Carol is on the other side of the booth, watching. Andy opens his mouth and lets Doug feed him the fry. He chews it slowly and Doug smiles watching him carefully. They are sitting in McDonald's enjoying a small dinner. Andrew reaches for more french fries.
"Do you like those buddy? Hm? I do too." Doug says. He smiles and hands Andy some cheerios.
"I know you want more but you can't have too many or you'll get sick. Eat your cheerios." Doug says. The little boy looks at Doug's face intently. Then he reaches down and picks up a Cheerio, putting it into his mouth.
"Good boy." Carol coos at him. The baby turns to her and reaches for her. She shakes her head.
"No..you can come see me in a little bit. Let's eat first." Carol says. She leans over and kisses his nose and then picks up a Cheerio and pops it into her mouth. He copies her and she smiles at him.
"That's my good boy." Carol says. Doug sits back in his booth and watches happily. She starts eating her french fries and she looks at him. He smiles at her and she smiles back as they watch Andrew eat.
+o+o+o+o+
"Doug's back." Carol says to Mark as they sit in the lounge. His head comes up quickly.
"What?" He asks.
"He's back. He came to my house yesterday. We took Andrew to McDonald's for supper." Carol says.
"Where is he now?" Mark asks.
"At home with Andrew. He got a job as a pedes ER doc at Mercy and he doesn't start until tomorrow. So I said he could watch Andrew while I was at work." Carol says.
"Where is he staying?" Mark asks.
"At a hotel. But apparently he was going to take Andrew out to go apartment hunting today." Carol says.
"He's not staying with you?" Mark asks, surprised.
"No...." Carol hesitates. "I love him Mark and he knows that...but I can't...I can't have him stay with me now. It would be too hard." Carol says nodding slowly, trying to convince herself.
"I think you're right. I don't think you are ready for the emotional stress that would go along with that. I'm just happy he's back. Tell him to call me." Mark says.
"I will....He's supposed to be coming to get me for lunch sometime soon so I can see Andrew." Carol says. She stands up from her seat on the couch. Mark doesn't say anything he just nods. Carol starts to leave.
"I'll see you after lunch probably." Carol says. He waves slightly as Carol walks out. She walks up to the desk and leans against it. She closes her eyes and sighs. She is tired because she didn't get much sleep last night, as she lay awake thinking. She leans onto her arms, propping her head up between her hands as she waits for Doug.
"Bama!" A baby calls out. She smiles slowly, opening her eyes and turning around. Andrew is in Doug's arms and he has his chubby little arms reaching out for her. Doug is chuckling. He hands Andrew to Carol.
"You lil' mommy's boy." Doug says.
"That's a good thing. Huh, Andy?" Carol asks. The little boy bumps his head against her cheek and grins happily. He pats her face with his hands. Carol turns around and notices everyone at the desk looking at Doug. He is standing there uncomfortably. Mark walks out of the lounge.
"Doug! Hey. I heard you were back." Mark says. He walks up to Doug and hugs him quickly.
"Hey Mark. How've you been?" Doug asks.
"Good. Carol told me you were back. Call me sometime and we can get together, okay?" Mark asks.
"Sure." Doug says. He hears a noise and he turns around to find Kerry, limping slowly towards him.
"What are you doing here?" Kerry asks.
"I came to take Carol to lunch." Doug says smiling politely. Everyone has their eyes locked on Kerry. She just nods.
"Carol I expect you to be back on time." Kerry says and walks away. Doug rolls his eyes and turns to Carol.
"We should go." He says. She nods and giggles at him. She kissed Andrew's cheek and they walk out together.
+o+o+o+o+
Carol comes home to find Doug and Andrew in the living room. Doug has Andrew in his arms as he watches TV. Carol flops down beside Doug on the couch and he can see something is wrong.
"What's wrong?" Doug asks. She just shakes her head, not trusting her voice. He stands up.
"I'm going to take Andy back to his crib. Stay there. I'll be right back." Doug says. He walks quickly into Carol's room. He lays his son into his crib and hurries back into the living room. He turns on a light and sits beside Carol on the couch, turning his attention to her.
"What's wrong Carol?" Doug asks. She just looks down and he sees a tear roll out of her eye. "Hey hey Carol. Don't cry. What's the matter?" Doug asks. He puts his hands on her arms. She looks at him.
"Kerry is such a bitch." Carol whispers. Doug gets an annoyed look on his face.
"What did she do?" Doug asks.
"When I came back, she worked my ass off. I am exhausted. And.." she sobs. "She finally talked.." she chokes on her tears. "to me and she told me how much of a loser she thought you were and how could I ever have been with you. She said the only thing good that came out of our relationship was my son and that..." Carol sobs and smacks the couch violently. "She said he would probably turn out to be a rude, drunk, womanizer, just like his father." Carol says. She falls into Doug's arms as he wraps her up tightly. She sobs and clings to his shirt as he rocks her back in forth.
"Carol....Kerry had no right to say anything like that to you." Doug says rocking her still. He pauses. "The reason I turned out the way I did was because of my childhood. My father was abusive and I never had a manly figure to follow after. I was just like my father because that was all I ever knew. Andrew has you Carol. You are the most wonderful mother in the whole world and he will learn that's not the way to be. I don't do all that stuff anymore and that's what he is going to grow up to know. Andrew will grow up to be a wonderful man that you will always be proud of." Doug says. She lifts her head and sighs deeply.
"I'm proud of you Doug." Carol says, pausing. "Maybe I haven't always been but you realized what you had to do to change and you did. I will always be thankful for that and I know Andrew will be someone I can be proud of. It just hurt me so much when Kerry talks about the people I love like that." Carol says.
"Ignore her. She's a bitch. She has no right to say anything to you. If you have any more problems you just tell me. I'll make sure to get it taken care of. Okay?" He asks. She nods slowly.
"Thank you." She whispers. He just smiles. She leans in and kisses him very gently. She pulls away and smiles. He smiles back at her.
"What time do you get off work tomorrow?" He asks.
"5." Carol answers.
"Well...since I have to work tomorrow until 7, how about I come and we can have dinner?" Doug asks. She nods.
"I'd like that." She answers. He smiles.
"Good." He says. He stands up. "I'll see you then." Doug answers. She nods and stands up.
"Okay." She says as he leaves.
+o+o+o+o+
"This is my new apartment." Doug says.
"Apartment number 10." Carol says. He nods and unlocks the door. She adjusts Andrew on her hip.
"It's got 2 bedrooms, a bath, a living room, and a kitchen." Doug says. She smiles sadly, although she tried to cover it up.
"It's perfect." Carol said. He smiles.
"And cheap too." Doug answers. She smiles.
"I still have some of your stuff in my attic." Carol said.
"Yeah, I'll have to get that down, considering I don't have a bed." Doug says.
"I'll help ya." Carol says. He looks at his watch.
"I've got to work tonight...but tomorrow after 10, I'm off. You're off right?" Doug asks. She nods and sets Andy down onto the floor.
"Yeah. All day." Carol said.
"Want to get my stuff down then?" He asks.
"Yeah. You'll need it as soon as possible." She says.
"When I take you home, can I borrow a sleeping bag? I already checked out of my hotel." Doug says chuckling. She smiles.
"What would you do if I said no?" She asks.
"Freeze my ass off, sleeping on the floor." Doug says. She giggles.
"Sure. You can get the sleeping bag." Carol says.
"Okay great. I'll probably sleep some when I get home...so...I'll come to your house around 2. Is that okay?" He asks.
"Sure. That's fine." She replies.
+o+o+o+o+
"Okay, well I better get going." Doug says walking to the closest to get the sleeping bag.
"Wait a sec." Carol says. She re-adjusts Andrew into a more comfortable position against her chest.
"What?" Doug asks stopping.
"I don't like the idea of you sleeping on the floor with just a sleeping bag. So...why don't you just come here after work. You can sleep in the spare room. That way you don't have to come here after you wake up, you'll already be here." Carol says. He smiles slowly.
"Okay. That'd be nice." He says, turning away from the closet. He walks up to her. He leans over and kisses Andrew's forehead, softly, then leans up and kisses her forehead. He rubs her arm slightly.
"I guess I'll see you in the morning then." Doug says. She smiles and he turns to the door. It opens it and steps out, turning back and looking at her one more time.
"Goodnight." He says.
"Night Doug." She whispers.
+o+o+o+o+
Doug walks up Carol's porch and uses his key to open the door.
"Carol?" He calls out.
"In the kitchen." She calls back. He walks in to see her feeding Andrew Cheerios and applesauce.
The little boy sees him and reaches his arms out. Doug chuckles and shakes his head.
"Oh no you don't." He says kissing the top of the boy's head.
"How was work?" Carol asks.
"It was okay. I slept a little because it wasn't that busy." Doug says.
"That's good." Carol says.
"It's always good when there's not many pedes patients." Doug says with a smile, looking at his son.
"Why don't you go get some more sleep. You look like you need it." Carol says. He nods.
"I appreciate this Carol." Doug says.
"Hey no problem." Carol says. He smiles and turns and walks up the stairs. He glances at her and continues up the stairs. He walks into the bedroom. He peels off his coat and his pants and gets into the bed in his t-shirt and boxers. He pulls the covers up over his shoulders and falls asleep almost instantly. Downstairs, Carol is calling her mom.
"Hello?" Helen asks.
"Hey Ma." Carol says.
"Oh hello Carol." Helen says, surprised by this phone call.
"Mama, I have a small favor to ask you." Carol says.
"What is it?" Helen asks.
"Will you watch Andy today?" Carol asks.
"Oh, I would love to have my grandson for the day! When will you bring him?" Helen asks.
"I'll be there within the next hour." Carol says.
"Wonderful. What time will you be by to get him?" Helen asks.
"I'm not sure. It won't be too late." Carol replies.
"That's fine." Helen says.
"Thanks Mama. I'm going to go get him ready." Carol says.
"Okay. I'll see you later then. Bye." Helen says.
"Bye." Carol answers, hanging up the phone. Andrew stretches his arms out to her.
"Ma!" He calls out. She giggles and picks him up.
"Let's go see Nana Helen." Carol says.
+o+o+o+o+
Carol slowly walks up the stairs, trying to make as little as noise as possible. She creeps into the spare bedroom and sees Doug in the bed. His head is turned away from the door and she cannot see his face. She walks slowly around to the other side of the bed and watches him sleep for a few seconds. She realizes how tired she is and slowly pulls back the covers on the other side of the bed. She crawls under the covers, pulling them up to her shoulder. She looks at Doug one more time, then falls asleep.
+o+o+o+o+
Doug wakes up and he can smell Carol's shampoo. He smiles and rolls over onto his side. He opens his eyes and he almost falls off the bed in surprise. He hadn't been expecting Carol to be in the bed with him. He took a closer look at her and noticed she was sleeping. She had her arms wrapped around herself and was laying on her side, facing him. A smile crept up onto his face and he had to force his arm to stay by his side. He wanted to reach over and brush her hair away from her face, but he didn't want to have her wake up to that. He looked over at the clock. 1:56. He knew that they should get going so he reached over and shook Carol's shoulder.
"Carol sweetheart, wake up." Doug says. She moans and rolls over onto her back.
"Doug?" She asks sleepily.
"Carol. It's almost two." Doug says. She rolls onto her stomach and finally opens her eyes, looking at him. She smiles sleepily.
"Hey." She whispers. He chuckles at her and just looks at her.
"So..what are you doing in here?" He asks.
"Well....I took Andy to my mom's so that we didn't have to watch him when we were getting into the attic and when I came home, I came up here and you looked so peaceful and I realized how tired I was. So...I crawled in and I was out like a light." Carol says. He chuckles. Without thinking he reaches his arm out to her back. He starts to scratch it gently, knowing how she liked it. She closes her eyes and relaxes into the pillow.
"Mmm.." She says. He continues scratching for a minute or so before he pulls his hand away.
"I haven't had a good one of those in a long time." Carol says opening her eyes. He smiles and sits up.
"Can I take a shower?" Doug asks. Carol smiles.
"Sure." She says. He smiles.
"Thanks." He says standing up. She nods. He takes his clothes with him and goes into the bathroom. She tries to stay awake but her eyes droop until they finally close and she doesn't resist the sleep.
+o+o+o+o+
Doug walks past the room, glancing into it quickly, figuring Carol is already downstairs. He stops when he sees her body in the same position he left her. He walks in and he sees that she has fallen asleep again. He chuckles and walks into the room. He stands watching, not sure whether to wake her or not, considering she must be really tired if she fell asleep again. He wants to let her sleep but he decides against it. He sits on the side of the bed he had been sleeping on. He places his hand on her back and shakes her gently.
"Carol? You awake?" Doug asks. She stays still. "Carol?" He asks.
"Go away." Carol says grumpily. He chuckles.
"Come on. You fell back to sleep. It's time to get up." Doug says.
"Leave me alone Doug." Carol says. He chuckles. He reaches down and tickles her sides slightly then a little harder. She suddenly squeals and jumps up, covering her sides with her arms.
"Douglas Stephen Ross!" Carol says. He laughs.
"Carol Marie Hathaway." He says back. She gives him an evil glare but he can see the smile playing behind her lips. He gives her a serious look.
"Don't smile Carol." He says in a deep gloomy voice. She can't help but smile at him. She picks up her pillow and hits him with it.
"I hate you Doug!" She says laughing. He chuckles and stands up. He offers his hand to her.
"Come on." He says simply. She takes his hand and stands up. She stretches and follows him out of the room.
"I'm going to go change." Carol says as they walk down the stairs.
"Alright. I'll get us some coffee." Doug says. She smiles and walks into her room, closing her door.
+o+o+o+o+
Carol walks into her house, Doug shortly on her heels. She falls onto the couch and flips her ponytail up off her neck. He sits beside her and she closes her eyes.
"Finally." She says. He chuckles.
"Want something to drink?" Doug asks. She nods.
"Water." She says. He nods.
"Be right back." He says standing up. A minute later he comes back with a glass of water for her and a glass of lemonade for himself. Carol takes the water and gulps it down.
"Ahhh. I needed that." Carol says. He chuckles and sets his glass on the coffee table. She puts her empty glass on the table in front of her and turns to him. She smiles and he smiles back before getting a serious look on his face.
"What?" He asks her. She is staring at him.
"We need to stop dancing around this and talk." Carol says. He chuckles.
"Alright." He says. She is silent. He looks at her and laughs. She giggles and finally talks.
"I'm glad that you are back, Doug." She says looking at her hands. "But...you hurt me. When you left, it hurt me. I didn't think you loved me anymore." Carol says looking up at him.
"And I am sorry for making you feel that way. But...I felt the same way Carol. I was hurt that you wouldn't come with me. But...I realized a while ago that I couldn't expect you to just pick up your life and come with me just because I wanted you to." Doug says. She nods slowly.
"I..." Carol starts, not sure how to put her feelings into words. "I am glad you feel that way, Doug. But...I guess...I need more time. I want us to be a family with Andrew but.." Carol's voice cracks and she cannot continue. He lifts her chin up with his finger, turning her head towards him.
"Carol...don't explain it. I know. I understand." He smiles sadly. "I'm sorry." He whispers. She smiles weakly.
"I'm sorry too." Carol says. Doug lets his hand fall.
"I want to be with you Carol. I love you. And I will wait. If you need time, then I'll give it to you." Doug says smiling.
"Why do I always need time?" Carol asks, looking away from him and slapping her hand down onto her thigh.
"Because you need to think things through Carol. It's who you are. You have to be sure of everything. I respect that. That's part of what I love about you." Doug says. She smiles weakly and turns back to him.
"Why are you always so understanding?" Carol asks. He chuckles.
"I wasn't always this way." Doug says. She nods and smiles, turning her head back down to her hands. He stands up.
"Well...I better go. I need to get my stuff into my apartment." Doug says.
"Do you need any help?" Carol asks.
"Nope. Go get Andrew. You miss him." Doug says. Carol smiles.
"Is it obvious?" Carol asks. Doug chuckles.
"Only to me." He says. She stands up with him. She puts a hand on the side of his face.
"Thank you Doug." Carol says. He nods.
"You're welcome." He whispers. She leans in and kisses him gently. When she pulls away she smiles. He smiles back and reluctantly pulls himself away from her.
"I'll call you." Doug says. She nods.
"Okay." Carol says softly. He opens the door and walks out turning around once and waving shortly at her. She just smiles and he shuts the door behind him. She sits on the couch and smiles to herself. Her eyes fill with tears and spill over her cheeks. She laughs at herself and wipes her tears away.
+o+o+o+o+
The telephone rings waking Carol up. She looks at the clock. 4:38 a.m. it reads.
"Who the hell?" Carol asks, picking up the phone. "Hello?" She asks.
"Carol, it's Mark." Mark says. Carol sighs.
"Mark..it's four in the morning. I'm tired. I don't want to come into work now!" Carol says.
"It's not work! Doug was in an accident!" Mark says. Carol's heart drops to her feet.
"Mark? What happened? How is he?" Carol asks, her voice rising.
"He's in surgery right now. You need to get down here." Mark says.
"Oh God, Mark. Is he going to be okay?" Carol asks.
"We don't know. Just come." Mark says.
"I'm coming!" Carol says. She hangs up the phone and jumps out of the bed. She throws on some jeans and goes to Andrew's crib. She picks up him and the blanket he is in and rushes downstairs. He wakes up and starts crying. She hurriedly straps him into his carrier and runs out to the car. She jumps in, putting Andrew beside her on the passenger side and she drives off quickly.
+o+o+o+o+
Carol rushes into the ER. She runs to the elevator and hits the button. Almost immediately the door opens and she steps in, pressing the button for surgery. Andrew has finally calmed down but is still whimpering. She looks down at him.
"I'm sorry baby. But Daddy's hurt." Carol says. The elevator doors open and she rushes into the waiting room to find Mark sitting in a chair, tapping his foot against the floor nervously.
"Mark!" Carol calls out running to him.
"Carol!" Mark says standing up.
"What happened?" Carol asks, setting Andrew's carrier onto a chair.
"He was walking. I have no idea why. Anyways a drunk driver spun out of control and hit Doug. He has a broken arm and a rib. One of his lungs collapsed and we had to shock him. They took him up to surgery but he's in a coma as of right now. There....he could have brain damage." Mark manages to spit out. Carol brings a hand up to her mouth and lets out a strangled sob.
"The driver?" She manages to choke out.
"DOA." Mark replies. Carol nods and sits down beside Andrew. Her hand is shaking against her mouth as she tries to calm herself as silent tears spill down over her cheeks.
"Ma?" Andrew calls out from his carrier. She turns to him and picks him and his blanket up. She lays him on her shoulder and rocks slowly, letting her tears fall into his blanket.
"It's okay baby. Daddy's going to be just fine." Carol says patting Andrew's back, mostly to reassure herself.
"Da?" He asks. She lets out a choked giggle.
"Yeah Da. I wish he could have heard you say that baby." Carol says. She kisses his cheek and continues rocking him. The little boy lays upon her shoulder, resting as Carol cries into his blanket. Mark stands by watching.
"How long has he been in there?" Carol asks.
"Since I called you." Mark says. Carol nods sadly.
+o+o+o+o+
A few hours later Elizabeth walks out of the OR where they had Doug. Carol jumps up along with Mark.
"How is he?" Carol asks.
"We got his lung back up and running but he's still in a coma." Elizabeth says. Carol bites her lip.
"I um..can I see him?" She asks, blinking her eyes rapidly to keep tears from filling them.
"In a few minutes. I'll let you know okay?" Elizabeth asks. Carol nods and lifts her hand to her mouth, trying to calm herself, even though her hand was visibly shaking. Elizabeth goes back to wait on Doug.
"Carol, I think maybe you should sit down." Mark says. She nods and he leads her over to a chair, beside a sleeping Andrew.
"We were just getting things straightened out. Thing's were starting to fit together." Carol says softy, staring straight ahead.
"Carol, he's going to be fine." Mark says.
"You don't know that!" Carol says angrily. "He's in a coma. He might have brain damage for God sake's Mark! He is NOT fine!" Carol says.
"I know Carol. I know." Mark says. He wraps her into his arms and she sobs violently. She leans into his chest and cries. He rubs her back trying to calm her down. A few minutes later she pulls away from him.
"I'm okay." Carol says. He smiles weakly at her.
"It's okay to not be okay, Carol." He says. She just shakes her head slightly but cannot say anything because she is interrupted by Elizabeth.
"Carol..you can go see him now." Elizabeth says.
"Will you stay with Andrew until I get back? I'll come back in time so you can go see him." Carol says. Mark nods.
"Sure. Go on." He says. She nods her thanks and walks behind Elizabeth to Doug's room.
+o+o+o+o+
Carol takes his hand into hers and she smiles sadly as her eyes fill with fresh tears.
"Doug, I love you. Please don't die. Andrew needs his Daddy and I need you more than you know. We were just getting things patched up, you can't leave me now. Please Doug." Carol says softly. She bends down and kisses his cheek gently. "I need to go back to Andy. Mark's going to come in now. I'll see you soon Doug. I love you." Carol says. She squeezes his hand and then lets go, walking out of the room.
+o+o+o+o+
"We got the head CT back." Dr. Rosco says to Carol and Mark.
"And?" Mark asks.
"There's no brain damage." Dr. Rosco says. Carol breaths a sigh of relief.
"Thank god." She whispers.
"But." Dr. Rosco says. Carol's head snaps up. "He's still on life support. If he doesn't wake up soon, you'll need to think about taking him off of it. It's up to him after that. If he doesn't breath on his own, then you'll have to let him go." Dr. Rosco says. Carol gasps and covers her mouth with her hand.
"Oh god." Carol whispers.
"I'm sorry." Dr. Rosco says sadly. Mark nods grimly and Dr. Rosco nods his head, walking out of the room to leave Mark and Carol in privacy.
"Mark?" Carol says hesitantly. He turns to her. "How long will they keep him on...life support before I have to decide?" Carol asks.
"A week, just to see if he will wake up, then it's up to you." Mark says. She nods and tears start to fall rapidly.
"Doug wouldn't want to be kept on longer then that." Carol says. Mark nods.
"I know." He says quietly. She turns to Doug's bed and takes his hand.
"Doug, please. Wake up." Carol begs him softly. Mark bites his lip, trying to hold the tears in.
+o+o+o+o+
It's a few days later and Carol is sitting next to Doug's bed, holding his hand.
"Doug. You don't have much time. Wake up, please. I love you Doug. I need you in my life. When....When you were in Seattle, I didn't have you but...you were alive and I knew that. You cannot die on me Doug!" Carol says slightly angry now. "You cannot! We need you!" Carol says angrily. She breaks down. "We need you Doug." Carol whispers. She kisses his fingers, letting a few tears fall onto his hand. She sighs heavily and lays her head beside his on the pillow, still holding his hand.
+o+o+o+o+
Doug can feel someone holding his hand. He can feel someone's breath on his cheek. He struggles to wake up. He feels something going down his throat and he reaches his free hand up and feels the tube that is protruding from his mouth. He remembers what happened and he moans softly. He recognizes the feel of Carol's hand in his and he can smell her shampoo near him. He knows it is her beside him. He tries to wake her up. He squeezes her hand and reaches his free arm up and shakes her shoulder a little bit. She jumps.
"Doug?" She asks. He peers up at her and a smile lights up across her face. His heart surges.
"YOUR AWAKE!" Carol says loudly. He reaches his arm up and pulls her towards him. She smiles and leans over him, hugging him. She pulls away.
"I'm going to call in a doctor and have him extubate you, okay Doug?" Carol asks. He nods silently, his eyes never leaving her face. She smiles and reaches over pressing the button. A doctor comes in quickly.
"He's awake!" Carol says happily. Dr. Rosco smiles.
"Well hello there Dr. Ross. Have a nice nap?" He asks chuckling. Doug looks from the doctor back to Carol and she smiles.
"Will you extubate him?" Carol asks.
"Sure. Dr. Ross, you know the drill?" Dr. Rosco asks him. Doug nods his head.
"Okay, on my count. 1..2..3..push." Dr. Rosco says, pulling the tube up out of Doug's throat. He coughs and sputters for a little bit. Carol gives him a drink of water from her glass.
"Carol." Doug whispers slowly. She smiles and takes his hand, squeezing it gently.
"Well...we will have to keep him here a little while longer to let his ribs heal some but he should be able to go home with in a week." Dr. Rosco says.
"Thank you." Carol says sincerely. He smiles.
"My pleasure." Dr. Rosco says, turning to leave. Carol turns to Doug and smiles.
"You gave me quite a scare Doug." Carol says. He smiles.
"Where's Andy?" He asks.
"I gave him to my Mom for a few days so I could be here." Carol says.
"You should have went home to rest." Doug says.
"I didn't want you to wake up without me by your side and I thought you were going to die so I wanted to be with you as much as possible." Carol says.
"I wouldn't have left you." Doug says.
"You better not. I was so scared because in two days they were going to take you off life
support and if you didn't breath on your own they were going to call it. I wouldn't have been able to live." Carol says. He smiles.
"Well I'm here now. And I can't go anywhere." Doug says. She smiles happily.
"God, Doug. I am so happy you are okay." Carol says. He smiles at her and she leans in and kisses him passionately. He readily accepts, having not kissed her like this in a long time. She makes a soft moaning noise from deep in her throat and he can't help but smile a little. He wraps his arms tightly around her waist and kisses her. She reluctantly pulls away from him.
"You better stop or I'll have to jump your bones right here on this hospital bed." Carol says smiling. He chuckles and pulls her close, hugging her.
+o+o+o+o+
"I get to go home!" Doug says happily. Mark chuckles.
"Yeah, and if you hurry we can get there faster and you can finally hold Andrew." Mark says. Doug nods happily.
"I get to go to see my son! And my beautiful girlfriend!" Doug says chuckling to himself. Mark pats his back.
"Come on. Hop on." Mark says referring to the wheelchair.
"Do I REALLY need one of those?" Doug asks complaining.
"You have to have one. Hospital rules." Mark says. Doug groans and sits down in the chair, banging his cast against it.
"Well let's go then!" Doug says impatiently. Mark chuckles and begins to push him.
"I think that you need to get your ass out of this damn chair and walk and lose some of that weight." Mark says. Doug chuckles lightly.
+o+o+o+o+
Mark pulls up to Carol's house and Carol comes running out. She opens Doug's door and he smiles.
"Hey there." He says. She smiles.
"Andrew is getting impatient." Carol says.
"Who is?" Doug teases her. She giggles.
"Come on!" She says. Mark laughs and gets out.
"Need some help?" Mark asks.
"No thanks. I got it. Plus, I'd rather lean on her." Doug says. He holds onto Carol for unnecessary support and she giggles, wrapping her arms gently around his waist. Mark just chuckles and shuts the door.
"I'll go now. Doug needs time with his family." Mark says. Doug's face lights up.
"Family." Doug repeats softly to himself. Carol smiles and waves to Mark.
"Bye Mark!" Carol calls out. He waves and drives off. Carol walks with Doug into the house and closes the door behind him.
"Where is he?" Doug asks.
"Right there." Carol says pointing to the his playpen in the living room. Andrew is sitting up playing with some toys. When he hears Doug's voice he looks up. He reaches his arms out.
"Da!" He says. Doug chuckles.
"I finally get to hear him say that!" Doug says. Carol bends down picking Andrew up and handing him to Doug. Doug sits on the couch with Andrew in his lap. Carol sits beside him and he smiles at her. He wraps his arm around her shoulder and she snuggles close to him as Andrew sits babbling away to Doug, acting like he is telling him all about what happened when he was gone. Doug chuckles and hugs Carol tighter to him as he realizes his life is finally in order.
+o+o+o+o+