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Elizabeth stood in the doorway of Carol's room, watching her look at the one twin she was breast-feeding and watching the other one cry with an exasperated look on her face. She knocked softly.
"Can I come in?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yes. Please." Carol said.
"Tough already huh?" Elizabeth asked. Carol nodded.
"God...I thought I could handle it, but...they are just...so innocent and dependent." Carol replied again.
"It'll be okay Carol. Don't you worry. So which one is which?" Elizabeth asked.
"I've got Tess, the oldest. That's Kate." Carol said.
"Can I hold little Kate?" Elizabeth said.
"Be my guest. Maybe you can calm her down before I feed her." Carol replied.
"They are absolutely darling." Elizabeth replied.
"I know. I am just glad that I didn't have a hysterectomy. After I had them and Kate turned out alright, I knew I wanted to do this again, someday. And I didn't want to lose my uterus. I have to thank Mark for all my future children." Carol said.
"Yeah, but you knew the risks. Your very lucky that you were awake to tell them no." Elizabeth replied.
"Yeah, but I passed out soon after and then I woke up here, and Mark told me I still had my uterus. Thank God." Carol replied.
"They look just like you...and Doug." Elizabeth replied.
"Can you switch me? Yeah they do. I can see the Doug in them already. This is going to be hard." Carol said. They switched babies.
"Have you told him yet?" Elizabeth asked.
"I...no. I am going to..but I was going to wait until I got a few minutes of peace and quiet." Carol said.
"Oh. He didn't know you were having twins did he?" Elizabeth asked.
"No." Carol whispered.
"You need to tell him Carol. They are his children too." Elizabeth said.
"I know. I know. I just...I don't want him to come back just for the babies." Carol said.
"He wouldn't be coming back just for the babies and you know that." Elizabeth said.
"Do I?" Carol replied. She looked down at Tess in her arms who had just fallen asleep.
"Well..I better get going," Elizabeth said as she put Kate down, "Here let me have Tess." Carol handed the baby to her.
"Thank you so much Elizabeth." Carol said.
"No problem. They are wonderful. Now call him." Elizabeth said and she left.
Carol sighed and stared at the phone longingly. She picked it up, and dialed his number slowly. She hoped he wasn't home.
"Hello?" She heard his voice through the phone.
"Hi Doug. It's.."
"Carol." Doug finished for her.
"Yeah." Carol said.
"Is there anything wrong?" Doug asked. He didn't mean to sound so sharp, he just guessed she had the baby or something was wrong with it and he was concerned. She didn't exactly call him very often.
"Uh. No. Nothings wrong." Carol said.
"So uh, how are you?" Doug asked.
"I'm great actually. I just...Doug your a father....again." Carol said suddenly.
"Oh Carol. Is it a boy or a girl? What it's name? How big? What does it look like?" Doug said, stopping as he realized he was probably overwhelming her.
"You have two new beautiful baby girls." Carol said. Doug gasped.
"Twin girls?" Doug said and Carol could tell he was crying.
"Yes." Carol said softly.
"Did you know that you were having twins?" Doug asked.
"Yes." Carol whispered again this time barely audible.
"How long?" Doug asked.
"A while." Carol said.
"Well..what are their names?" Doug asked.
"Tess is the oldest and Kate." Carol said.
"Oh Carol." Doug said softly.
"Tess is 6 lbs. 4 ounces. Kate is 6 lbs. 3 ounces." Carol said.
"What do they look like?" Doug asked.
"Us." Carol said.
"I bet...I bet they are beautiful." Doug said.
"They are. They should be after everything I went through to get them here." Carol said.
"What happened?" Doug asked.
"I was on the El Tracks, coming home from the hospital cuz I had went to see Lydia even though I was supposed to be at home. My water broke and so I was sitting on a bench having a contraction about 15 minutes later, when Luka...a new doctor.... found me and brought me to Cook County. Well I passed out on the way here but woke up a few minutes later laying on a gurney with Kerry helping. Tess's heart rate dropped. The cord was wrapped around her neck. Kerry delivered her in the ER. But she's fine now. Then," Carol said.
"Kerry, in the ER?" Doug asked.
"Mm hmm. Then before the second one was coming I asked Kerry to go with Tess as they took me up to OB. Anyway, by then Mark was there, he missed Tess but he came to coach me through the second one. Well then, Kate's heartbeat dropped. She had a prolapsed cord. They had to take me up to get a C-Section." Carol said.
"Oh God." Doug said.
"When they got her out, she was blue but they got her oxygen and she's fine now. Then I started bleeding out. I was at 3 liters and they wanted to do a hysterectomy but I said no. Dr. Coburn insisted, but Mark tried to stop her. Then I passed out. When I woke up, Mark was in my room holding Tess and Kate was beside me. I remembered what happened but then Mark told me I still had my uterus. I have to thank him for all my future children." Carol said.
"Oh God Carol. I am so sorry I wasn't there." Doug said.
"You couldn't have done anything differently." Carol said.
"I know but oh I am so glad your okay." Doug said.
"We are. We are." Carol assured him. Then a baby started crying. Doug gasped.
"Which one?" Doug asked.
"Kate." Carol said.
"Oh god. Can I...Carol can I see them please? I still want to be their father." Doug said.
"I..yes...okay." Carol said.
"Really?" Doug asked smiling now.
"Yes."
"Oh thank you Carol. Thank you. Tell them I love them for me please. Now go. Go get Kate. I'll call you later with details." Doug said.
"Okay...bye." Carol said and hung up before he could say anything else. She picked up Kate and begin to sing softly to her as the baby settled down.
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Mark was paged to the desk.
"Who paged me?" Mark asked.
"I did." Randi said handing him the phone.
"Hello?" Mark asked into the phone.
"Mark." Doug said.
"Doug?" Mark asked.
"Yup it's me. Can you believe I have two new beautiful baby daughters?" Doug asked.
"She told you?" Mark asked.
"Yup, we just hung up. I decided not to wait another week to come back for that job. I'm coming tonight." Doug said.
"Tonight?" Mark asked.
"Yes. Can I stay with you just tonight, because I haven't got time to book a hotel and all that." Doug said.
"Sure." Mark said.
"Okay. Don't tell Carol. And Mark, thank you for saving Carol's uterus." Doug said then hung up. Mark hung up the phone and stared at in, in disbelief.
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It's about 10 hours later. It's 8:30 in the morning. Carol is nursing Tess. Elizabeth is in with her holding Kate.
"Hey Carol, I'm going to take Kate out in the hallway for a second because she's getting cranky listening to her sister nurse. Just call me when your ready for her." Elizabeth said.
"Okay thanks." Elizabeth walked out into the hall, closing the door. As soon as she got there Mark walked up.
"Elizabeth." Mark said quietly.
"Oh hey Mark. What are you doing up here?" Elizabeth said cheerfully. Mark looked at her then stepped aside. Doug came into view. Elizabeth gasped slightly.
"Doug!" Elizabeth said.
"Is that...is that one of the girls?" Doug asked quietly not taking his eyes off the baby.
"Yes this is Kate." Elizabeth replied. Doug walked up slowly. Tears came into his eyes and he rubbed the baby's cheek gently with his index finger. The baby yawned.
"She's beautiful." Doug said trying to hold his emotions in.
"Yes she is. Here." Elizabeth said holding the baby out to him. He looked up uncertainly. "Go on." Elizabeth said. He took the baby into his arms and cradled it to his chest.
"Oh god." Doug said and one tear slipped silently down his cheek. Mark and Elizabeth stood back and watched smiling slightly.
"Elizabeth! I'm ready!" Carol called out from inside the room. Doug's head turned sharply.
"You go on. Take her in." Elizabeth said.
"I dunno..she doesn't know I'm here." Doug said.
"Go." Elizabeth said firmly. Doug looks at Mark. He nods. Doug slowly opens the door and steps in. Carol is looking down at Tess.
"Thank you so much for all of this Eliza," Carol looks up and sees Doug, "beth." She finishes softly.
"Carol...she's more beautiful than I could ever have imagined." Doug said smiling down at the little baby asleep in his arms. "Can...Can I hold Tess too?" Doug asked. Carol nods and Doug leans over and gathers the baby into his other arm, barely touching Carol's arm. She shudders on the inside at his touch.
"When did you get here?" Carol asked quietly.
"This morning. Oh Carol...." Doug said as two tears slipped down his cheeks. His body shudders a little in a silent sob.
"They're amazing aren't they?" Carol asked.
"The most amazing thing I've ever seen. How can you love someone so much when you just first see them?" Doug asked.
"I don't know." Carol replied truthfully. Doug looked up at Carol.
"Carol....I want you to know that even though I still love you I don't expect you to take me back, but I want to be part of these girl's lives. Please don't deny me that. I love them more than anything. But before you answer you need to know that last week, I called Dr. Romano and asked for my old job back. He said that he liked the way I worked and my attitude and as long as Kerry said it was okay I was allowed back. So he asked Kerry and she said...yes. I've got my old job back here but if I screw up big time just once...then I'm outta here and never allowed back. But I need to be here for my girls and to help you if you need any help at all. I want to be their father, even if I don't deserve it. I'll be staying with Mark until I get an apartment. Just please let me be part of their lives." Doug said looking down at his babies again.
"Okay." Carol said quietly.
"Thank you Carol. Thank you so much." Doug said. She smiled.
"Lemme have Kate. I should wake her up to feed her." Carol said. He handed her Kate and then turned around and started walking Tess to sleep singing softly to her. When she was asleep he kissed her tiny forehead.
"I love you." He whispered, laying Tess into her crib. Even though he said it quietly Carol heard him. She had been watching him out of her peripheral vision. She smiled slightly.
"Doug. Kate's asleep if you want to put her in her crib." Carol said. He grinned and bent over to pick up the tiny baby from her arms. He acted like he didn't have a good enough hold yet, just so he could let his arm linger on hers. He carried the baby to her respective crib and laid her down softly. Then he bent over and kissed her forehead and whispered the same words to her that he did to Tess.
"They are beautiful. Just like you." Doug said looking at Carol.
"They look like you too." Carol said.
"They are definitely our kids." Doug said. Carol nodded then patted a spot on her bed for him to come sit. He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed near her knee and turned to her.
"Doug...would you like to stay at my house until you get an apartment? Because, I'll need a lot of help. You can stay on the couch or something." Carol said. Doug's face lit up.
"Do you mean that?" Doug asked.
"Yes..I do." Carol said. He forgot what he was doing and he hugged her quickly. Just for that brief moment Carol had felt the warmth and comfort of being in his arms that she had missed so much.
"Thank you Carol. I promise not to let you or the girls or anyone else down this time." Doug said.
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It's the next day and Carol and Doug are returning home. They just went through the whole hospital staff, it seemed, stopping them and cooing over the babies. Doug announced he was here to stay, getting a few whoops and hollers from some of the staff. They are now putting the babies down in the nursery.
"They probably won't stay asleep very long." Doug said.
"Well at least we'll get a little time to talk." Carol said as they headed downstairs. "Want some coffee?" Carol asked.
"I'll get it. You just go sit on the couch and rest." Doug said.
"I've been resting for the past two days." Carol protested.
"No you haven't. You've been up in all hours of the night with the girls." Doug replied and headed off to the kitchen. A few minutes later he returned with two cups of coffee. Carol took hers and took a sip.
"It's wonderful to be able to have caffeine again." Carol said. Doug chuckled.
"You'll need all you can get now." He said. They didn't speak for a minute or so as they sipped on their coffee.
"Doug. Are you really here to stay?" Carol asked quietly.
"Yes. I cannot leave now, not ever. Even if I can't work at Cook County...or any other hospital here in Chicago, I will get a different job. I'm not leaving you and the girls." Doug said truthfully. He made sure he was looking Carol straight in the eye when he said it so she knew he wasn't lying. He sat his coffee down on the coffee table in front of him and turned to Carol, giving her his full attention.
"The girls need you." Carol said.
"I know that. Neither one of us had fathers growing up, I don't want to leave my children without a father. I already have done that with my son. I've never even see him. I don't know where he is. I don't know his name. I don't want that to happen with Tess and Kate. They deserve a father. I want to be that to them. Everyday I wonder about my son, where he is, what he looks like, if I've ever passed him on the street and not known it, if he plays sports, the whole deal. I'll probably never know. I want to witness everything that happens in our girls lives. I'm never going to leave them." Doug said staring Carol right in the face. She was shocked about all this talk about his son. He had never talked about him before. She was glad to learn more about this man. She smiled.
"I believe you." Carol whispered softly.
"I'm just wondering, why didn't you tell me you were having twins?" Doug asked softly. He wasn't upset or angry, he knew it was probably his fault. Carol looked down but Doug lifted her chin up so she had to look at him.
"I didn't want you to come back for the babies. I didn't want you to think I was dependent on you." Carol said simply.
"I know your not Carol. I know you would have handled it perfectly and been the best mother to these girls." Doug said.
"I'm sorry." Carol said her chin trembling slightly.
"Hey, don't cry. It's okay, I understand. I left you here. It's my fault." Doug said.
"No it's not. You didn't know I was in labor, you didn't know I was having twins, you didn't know I was pregnant when you left." Carol said.
"Hey. Neither one of us knew you were pregnant when I left, that's not either of our faults. And I understand why you didn't tell me Carol." Doug said.
"You had the right to know. They're your kids too." Carol said.
"Maybe I didn't have the right to know. I left you Carol." Doug said.
"I could've came with you. I was just too stubborn." Carol said.
"Okay, enough of blaming ourselves." Doug said. Just then one of the babies started crying.
"Can I go get her?" Doug asked his face lighting up.
"Bring her back down." Carol said and smiled at his excitement.
"Okay. Hold on." Doug said and bounded up the steps. Carol smiled slightly. She was so happy that he was back, she knew they needed to work this out and she hoped sometime soon they could be together again, if he wanted that. She knew she wanted it more than anything in the world. He came back down with each of the girls on his chest, their heads nestled into his neck. Kate was whimpering.
"Kate is the troublemaker already. She was laying there crying, Tess was awake just waving her little arms about. I think Kate's hungry." Doug said.
"Lemme have her. I'll see if she's hungry." Carol said.
"She's not wet. So either she's hungry or she wants to see her mommy. Or both." Doug said smiling. He handed Kate down to Carol. Carol lifted her shirt, unaware that Doug was watching her. The baby quickly latched on and Carol smiled.
"She's definitely hungry." Carol smiled and then looked up. Doug sat beside her.
"Tess here is already asleep again." Doug said as he rubbed the baby's back.
"She just wanted her Daddy." Carol said. Doug smiled at the mention of being a daddy.
"Daddy. Wow." Doug said. He smiled at Carol with so much happiness she thought he would bust. She couldn't help but smile back.
"She's gonna be the Daddy's girl." Carol said.
"I hope one of them is. I think she just drooled on my neck." Doug said. Carol giggled. He reached his hand up slightly and felt it. "Yep. That sure is slobber." Doug said. Doug turned his gaze to Kate. Carol looked at him watching the baby and she smiled as he looked up and knew he was caught staring. He blushed and looked down.
"It's okay Doug." Carol said. He looked up at her again. She smiled gently and reassuringly.
"Carol, I'm sorry I made you go through all that alone." Doug said.
"Doug it's okay. Really. Your here now to stay." Carol said.
"But I never should have left." Doug said.
"I understand why you did. It's over and done with now Doug. Let's not talk about it." Carol said.
"Okay." Doug nodded.
"I think she's done. It's time to switch." Carol said. She pulled Kate away from her and baby yawned. Doug gently pulled Tess away from his neck and she woke up. Her little face scrunched up and her fist hit him softly on the cheek. She started bawling.
"I think we should get her into boxing classes." Doug said. Carol smiled. She laid Kate down in his lap and then took Tess from him.
"Shhhh baby. It's okay. Mommy's here." Carol whispered. Doug smiled. He took Kate over his shoulder and burped her.
"That's a good girl. Do it just like Daddy." Doug said. Carol snorted.
"We don't need to teach her bad habits already." Carol said.
"Hey! It's a relief isn't Katie girl?" Doug cooed at the baby. Carol smiled at his new nickname for the girl. He drew his legs together and laid her down in the crevice. He started rubbing her belly. She watched his face sleepily never letting her gaze leave him.
"You've got a handsome Daddy, don't you Katie?" Carol said brushing her fingers against the babies cheek.
"And a beautiful Mommy. Huh Kate?" Doug said. Carol and Doug looked at each other and smiled slightly before turning back to their daughters. Doug knew in that quick glance that everything would be okay between them. Carol lifted her shirt slightly before pulling Tess away. Doug caught sight of the stitches on her stomach. He reached over before he realized what he was doing and he touched them slightly. She looked at him and held her shirt up for him.
"Does it hurt?" Doug whispered. She shook her head.
"No." Carol said.
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." Doug said again, smiling sadly.
"Hey. Look at Kate. She's fine isn't she? Tess's fine too. I'm fine. I still have my uterus. It's okay Doug. Don't blame yourself." Carol said.
"But I always will." Doug said. Carol nodded.
"And I'll always blame myself for not letting you come back and be there. But we're both here now so let's not blame ourselves now. Let's just get on with life. Okay Doug?" Carol said. He looked up at her. He nodded.
"Okay."
"Good. Now let me burp Tess and then we'll go upstairs." Carol said. She patted the baby's back as Doug played with Kate. A few minutes later, Carol carrying Tess and Doug carrying Kate, they headed up the stairs. They changed the girl's diapers and then Carol sat down in the rocking chair. Doug put Kate in her other arm and she started rocking softly. He got down on his knees and leaned onto Carol's knees and rocked with them. Carol started to sing softly and Doug soon joined in. Quickly both of the babies fell asleep. He smiled at Carol and she smiled back.
"Everything's going to be fine." Doug said talking to the babies but getting the message across to Carol. Carol nodded. He bent down and kissed Tess then Kate's forehead. When his face came back up he was just two inches from Carol's mouth. He looked into her eyes and leaned forward slightly. She didn't object. She leaned forward and their lips met. It was gentle at first but Carol quickly melted into his lips. His hands came up to her face and he gently pulled her head closer. The kiss turned passionate, making up for the last nine months without each other. Carol could feel the warmth bubbling in her stomach and then racing throughout her whole body. Finally the kiss slowed down and they pulled apart. Doug smiled and she smiled back.
"Everything's fine." Carol whispered and Doug chuckled. Then they heard a soft baby sound. They both looked down, nearly smacking heads. Tess was staring back up at them.
"I wonder how much she saw." Doug said. Carol laughed quietly, not wanting to wake Kate.
"Take Kate and put her down." Carol said. He gently gathered Kate into his arms and kissed her forehead.
"I love you baby girl." Doug said and laid her down. Carol was rocking Tess again. Doug stood and watched as Tess stared at her mother. She drifted off to sleep and Carol looked up at Doug.
"Hey. Do you have a camera with film around here anywhere?" Doug asked.
"I think so. In my bag from the hospital. Elizabeth insisted on taking some pictures." Carol said.
"Okay. Don't move. I'll be right back." Doug said and ran down the steps and into the living room where they had left her bags. He dug through it and found the camera. He dashed back up the stairs. Carol smiled at him as he entered.
"Do you have to get a picture of me? I look awful." Carol said.
"Yes. You look beautiful Carol. Now, look down at Tess." Doug ordered.
"Yes sir." Carol giggled then looked down at the baby. She smiled to herself, not really for the camera. He snapped the picture and she looked up at him.
"Perfect." Doug said.
"She's so beautiful Doug." Carol said.
"You are, Tess is, and Kate is." Doug said truthfully. Carol smiled.
"I don't know how I could ever have lived without them." Carol said.
"I don't know how I lived without you." Doug said staring straight into Carol's eyes.
"Me neither." Carol said. She stood up and walked over to the babies crib. "I love you Tessie." Carol whispered, then moved over to Kate's crib. She brushed her hair with her fingers. "I love you too, Katie." Carol said. Doug walked over and wrapped his arms around Carol's waist, making sure not to touch her stitches.
"And I love you Carol." Doug said. Carol turned in his arms, she kissed his lips gently.
"I love you too Doug." Carol said and kissed him deeper. They pulled away reluctantly.
"I've missed this." Doug said.
"Mmm...me too." Carol said nuzzling his neck.
"Why don't we go downstairs and fix lunch, while we can." Doug said.
"Lead the way Romeo." Carol said and giggled.
"Come on Juliet." Doug said and chuckled. He took her hand and they walked out of the room shoulder to shoulder. When they reached the bottom of the stairs they heard a soft knock on the door.
"At least they didn't ring the doorbell." Carol said. Doug smiled. Carol walked over to the door holding onto Doug's hand. She didn't care at this point who saw them, she just needed to feel his touch. She opened the door and there was her mother.
"Ma!" Carol said, surprised. Helen gave her a stern look.
"What is he doing here?" Helen asked shooting Doug a death ray look.
"He's staying here Ma. He got his old job back and he's here to see the girls." Carol said.
"I cannot believe your letting him back into your life again. For the third time Carol." Helen said.
"Hey. I'm not leaving this time. I swear to God. My children and Carol need me." Doug said.
"Carol does not need you." Helen said.
"Yes I do Ma." Carol said and pulled Doug closer to her.
"Carol, it's your life. I've learned by now not to interfere because it won't do any good. So can I come in and see my darling granddaughters?" Helen asked.
"Yes Ma. Come in." Carol said and she stepped aside. Helen brushed past Doug and into the house.
"They are upstairs sleeping right now." Doug said.
"We just put them down." Carol said.
"Well I'll just go take a peek if that's okay?" Helen asked looking at Carol as if Doug wasn't there.
"Go ahead Ma." Carol said and Helen went for the stairs. Doug and Carol followed still holding hands. Helen walked over to Kate's crib.
"Hello Katherine." Helen said. Doug looked at Carol and rolled his eyes.
"Ma, we're calling her Kate. So you can too, if that's alright with you." Carol said. Helen turned to her.
"Excuse me. Hello Kate." Helen turned back towards the baby. "I hope you've got more sense then you mother and aren't stupid like your father." Helen said.
"Ma!" Carol shouted slightly. Helen didn't answer, she just turned and walked to Tess. Carol looked at Doug with a pained expression on her face. Doug just placed a hand on her arm reassuringly. He hugged her quickly and turned back to Helen. Then Kate started to wail from Carol's shout.
"Oh damn." Carol said. She walked over to the baby and picked her up.
"Hey Katie girl. It's okay. Mommy's sorry for yelling." Carol said bouncing the baby in her arms. The baby whimpered and finally quit crying.
"Have you fed her? Maybe she's hungry." Helen said.
"We fed them and changed them just before we put them to sleep Ma." Carol said, annoyed. She sat in the rocking chair cradling Kate to her chest.
"Well I can see I'm not wanted so, I'll let myself out." Helen said.
"Ma, don't go." Carol said sighing.
"I'll come back later when the girls are more awake." Helen said and she walked out. Carol looked up at Doug helplessly and he tried to smile.
"I'm sorry Doug." Carol whispered and then burst out crying.
"Hey hey Carol. It's okay. Stand up." Doug said. She stood up. He hugged her. Then he sat in the chair and pulled Carol down onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist and rocked them. "Shhhh Carol. Quit crying. It's okay. I am stupid for leaving you. Your mom's right. But don't worry about it Carol. What she says about me, doesn't matter."
"But Doug I hate it when she does that. She knows how much it hurts me when she talks about you. When you were gone she would talk about you and even though I was mad at you I couldn't say anything about you because I still loved you." Carol said.
"And Carol I love you. And look where our love has gotten us," he said motioning towards the girls,"I know we have been through some big bumps in the road but we're here now and we'll be this way forever Carol. I'm not leaving. I can't now. I'm way too attached. I'm in too deep. And I know now, after being away from you for nine months that I cannot live without you. I'm here to stay Carol." Doug said. He kissed her neck softly.
"I love you Doug." Carol said.
"I know you do," Doug said and he smiled, "looks like the little booger is asleep again."
"Yup, why don't we go get that lunch now." Carol said.
"Okay, let's go." Doug said and they put the baby back in her crib and went downstairs.
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