May 9-22, 01.
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Ron does not exist in this story. It's set around Season Four of ER.
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Julianna looked up and smiled. George followed her gaze and studied the sprig of mistletoe over his head.
"Nice." He said, and because he wasn't sure what to do about it, he stood still, gazing into her eyes.
"Bad luck." She said and hiked up to her toes, brushing her mouth lightly over his. "I don't like to risk bad luck." He reacted instinctively to a woman's lips, to her lips. Action came before thought. He caught her chin in her hand to hold her still.
"Who said it was bad luck?" He asked and brought his mouth down on hers in a kiss tasting of the scotch he had just drank and an underlying impatience that had the blood draining out of her head.
Oh God, oh my God, was all she had the chance to think as her lips parted helplessly underneath his own. It was quick, seconds only, when he released her from his grasp. She rocked back down on her heels, her hazel eyes wide. Her stomach quivered in response and she lay a shaky hand on it, pressing her lips together as she gazed up at him.
Never before had anything of the sort happened between them. At work, she had always known he was a fantastic kisser, but knowing it all was scripted had kept them both in their perspective places.
Suddenly the phone rang, interrupting them both from their trance. Julianna walked to the phone, picking it up and clicking it on.
"Hello?" She asked and paused. "Oh hey Alex." Julianna greeted her sister warmly. She looked back at George who was picking his coat up.
"I'm going to go now." He mouthed to her. She nodded and brushed a hand over her forehead. He watched her for another second, not really listening to her end of the conversation before he turned, his coat over his arm, and opened the front door. He stepped out into the frigid cold and closed the door behind him.
Julianna closed her eyes as she listened to her sisters bright chatter on the other end. She sat on the arm of the couch and sighed deeply, but silently.
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Julianna didn't want to think about how that kiss felt, but she did that night, tossing and turning in her bed. Luckily, throughout the next day work was hectic and she didn't think about it often. Only when she saw George and remembered did it jolt her back to the night before.
Before she knew it, it was time for a scene where she had to kiss George. It was ER's Christmas episode of season four, "Do You See What I See?" and the scene they were getting ready to film was when Carol went into the lounge to talk to Doug, before the scene when they had to film the announcement that they were dating to the staff who already knew.
Julianna stood outside the lounge, rereading her script. She knew she would have to study this script extra hard because she would probably forget everything she was supposed to say after he kissed her. Her mind would go blank like it had last night.
George was standing talking to Tony and watching her go over the script. She looked, not nervous, but jittery as she stood there. She had her hair tied in a braid and was wearing a black sweater. She was pacing slightly as she read the script. Absolutely gorgeous, George thought.
Sarah Pia Anderson, the director for this particular episode, stuck her head out of the lounge.
"George? Julianna? We're ready for you." She said.
"Alright. I've gotta start out here, right?" Julianna asked, turning on Carol mode.
"Uh huh." Sarah replied and motioned Doug into the lounge. He smiled at her and touched Julianna's arm briefly before pushing the door to the lounge open. She took a deep breath and waited until she was motioned inside. She began acting, reciting her lines perfectly for the camera. But all she could focus on was George.
Her mind buzzed as he pressed his lips to hers for the camera, but she stayed on track, getting all of her lines right. Oh God, he is so beautiful, she thought, her arms wrapped around his neck as she played her part. She could barely focus, but she got through it, knowing it was not one of her better scenes.
"Cut! Print!" Sarah said and smiled at them as they stepped apart from each other slightly. "Good job." She praised. "Now onto the next scene." Julianna sighed inwardly and headed out of the lounge to do the next shot.
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"Hey Jules." George said, coming up behind her at work as she was getting ready to leave.
"Oh, hey George." She said, smiling at him.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"Going home to eat some dinner." She said, her stomach nearly growling at the thought.
"Want some company?" He asked, his arm brushing against hers, making her try discreetly to pull it away.
"Uh, sure." She said. He smiled.
"Wanna pick something up on the way home for dinner?" He asked.
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Julianna sat down at the counter in her kitchen. George pulled a stool out across from her and sat down in it. Julianna began rifling through the boxes of Chinese on the counter, looking for her dinner. She found her noodles and picked up the chopsticks and dug in.
"Mmm!" She murmured, slurping up a noodle. He chuckled.
"Hungry?" He asked. She nodded.
"Considering I only had a salad for lunch and that was," She checked her kitchen clock, "7 hours ago, I'm really hungry." He smiled and bit into his chicken.
"I can understand why. How do you women live off of those things?"
"What, salads?" She asked. He nodded and chewed. She shrugged as she bit into another noodle. "I don't live off them. I enjoy them and it fills me up at the time, but I don't stay full for long." She said.
"No wonder. All it is is a little bit of leaves, some veggies, and a bit of vinegar oil junk on top, if you're daring." He said. She laughed.
"George, we work in Hollywood, you've got to expect it." She said. He swallows.
"I do, I just wonder how you do it is all." He said. She shrugged again and took a sip of her soft drink. George glanced beyond her head and she watched him, wondering where his eyes were travelling, but she didn't turn to look. George's eyes moved back towards her and their eyes met. Electricity burned quickly before Julianna looked away. Her stomach jumped slightly. What the hell was going on? Her body was responding to George in ways she'd never known before. He was like....her best friend. She shouldn't be having those type of feelings, those quivers.
George's eyes had been focused on the ceiling in the living room in a certain area. A certain area where she had placed the mistletoe. The certain area in which they had shared their first off screen, real kiss. Not a quick peck here and there, the real deal. Why had she looked away so quickly when he met her gaze? Did she feel that little tug that he felt? Was that why she had been so jumpy around him that day? He had so many questions with no answers and he wasn't sure if he wanted to ask her what was going on. He abandoned his food and leaned forward in his seat, looking at her.
"Jules?" He asked.
"Hmm?" She replied, not looking up from her noodles.
"What's up?" He asked. She glanced up at him, her eyebrows puckered together.
"What?"
"What happened last night?" He paused. "At work today, something was going on. When I suggested I come over tonight, you were acting weird. Now, when I look at you, you can't even hold my gaze. What's up?" He asked again. She cleared her throat, fiddling with her chopsticks. She knew if she put them down, she wouldn't have a clue what to do with her hands.
"Nothing, George. Nothing's up." She said, gazing at her noodles, but not really seeing them.
"Then why won't you look at me?" He asked. She swallowed a sigh and looked up at him, gazing into his eyes.
"I'm looking at you." She said and her heart was doing somersaults. She hoped he wouldn't be able to see her pulse jumping in her neck. He didn't, but he heard the slight quickening of her breath.
"Now you are." He murmured and reached out, tucking a tendril behind her ear. Something was happening between them and it was pretty big, he knew, his hand now resting on her cheek. His gaze shifted to her lips and they parted under his watch. Her breath caught in her throat and she couldn't breath. His gaze slid back up to her eyes and she stared at him, her bottom lip now trembling. In anticipation? He wondered.
"George..." She murmured, her voice quivering unsurely.
"Mm?" He asked. Julianna wanted to look away from him, but she couldn't, it was as if her eyes were locked there, on his. She didn't reply, not sure what to say. He shifted forward in his seat, leaning across the table, over the boxes of Chinese. He pressed his lips to hers softly, his lips barely touching hers. She let out the sigh she had been holding in and scooted up in her seat, her mouth pressing harder against his. He brought his other hand up and cupped her face in his hands, pulling her closer. Her mind was going fuzzy and she fought to stay there, to stay in reality. Before she could slip away, he was pulling away from her, his lips leaving hers. She let out an unconscious sound of protest and he nearly grinned. Her eyes fluttered open and they met his again. Julianna read the amusement in George's eyes and pulled away, growing embarrassed. She bent her head, her cheeks flushed slightly.
"Hey, hey." He said, sliding off the stool and coming around to her side of the counter. "Don't do that, don't pull away." He lifted her chin with his fingertips. She looked into his warm chocolate colored eyes once more and no longer saw amusement, only a need, a yearning maybe. She didn't know, she'd never seen those looks in his eyes before, especially not for her.
"George, I...." She didn't know what to say. Julianna was confused. She needed to know what that kiss meant. She needed to know what the hell was going on. She pulled away from him and began pacing the kitchen. "What.....I...Dammit." She murmured at her inability to express herself. She looked up at him and she knew for certain now that he was amused. He was smiling and had that twinkle in his eyes that she usually found adorable, but now she found annoying. "Dammit George, don't stand there and look at me like that."
"Like what?" He asked, smiling.
"Like you're amused...And, and smug." She finished. He couldn't help but grin wider.
"Jules, you're amazing." He said. "Come here." He said, motioning her over. She was aggravated at him, looking at her like she was something to laugh at. Ordering her around. But she couldn't help herself, she moved to him. He took her upper arms into his hands. "You're absolutely beautiful when you're exasperated." He said. She blushed slightly and bent her head. He was getting a kick out of this shyness that had seemed to formulize out of nowhere. "You're getting shy on me." He said, lowering his head to try and catch her gaze.
"What are you doing?" She asked. His eyebrows quirked. "Why are you doing this to me? What the hell is this....Ugh!" She let out an exasperated sigh and realized that he was looking at her so she immediately let all emotions drain her face. But her eyes told it all for him. He kissed her again, quickly but he caught her off guard and she nearly bared her teeth at him.
"Beautiful." He said and chuckled as she lowered her gaze once more. "Why are you turning shy on me?" He asked.
"Because I'm confused." She nearly wailed it.
"Why?" He asked. "It's obvious something is going on."
"What is it? What's going on?" She asked. He shrugged.
"Attraction." He said as if it was all so simple. She sighed.
"Why?" She asked. He laughed slightly.
"What am I, answer guy?" She couldn't help but grin. "I don't know why it's happening, I only know that it is. Is that such a bad thing?" He asked. She shrugged.
"Is it?" She asked. "It depends on what we're going to do about it."
"What do you want to do about it?" He asked.
"I don't know. What do you want to do about it?" She asked. He smiled at her.
"Well, we're actors, right?" He asked. She didn't reply. "Let's act on it."
"What?" She asked, her eyebrows raising slightly.
"Let's act on our attraction. There's no reason we can't." He said.
"George, I..." But she couldn't think of any reasonable argument. "Okay." She mumbled. He laughed.
"Okay?" She nodded and looked up at him, her mouth curving up into a smile.
"Okay." She repeated. He laughed and pressed a spontaneous kiss to her mouth.
"I repeat, you are amazing." He said. She slid her arms around his neck.
"Mm." She murmured. He grinned and his gaze slid down to her lips again.
"You know what?" He asked.
"No, what?" She replied.
"I'm going to kiss you, like you've never been kissed before." He said it with such certainty that she believed him. Then she experienced it as he lowered his mouth to hers and knocked her socks off.
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George moved into Julianna's house and they quickly fell into the routine of lovers. Julianna held back somewhat, knowing that if she let too much of herself go, he would retreat into his shell and back off for a few days. She'd found out the hard way. Julianna loved him but she couldn't bring herself to tell him. George wasn't so easy with the words, she found out. His previous marriage and girlfriends had scared him away from the small three word sentence.
But it was killing her, not being able to tell him the extent of her feelings. And she was desperate to hear the words from him. So maybe when the words slipped, she really had meant to say them.
Julianna and George were lying in bed after a bout of hot sweaty sex. Julianna sat up and pulled on a ratty t-shirt that had gotten tossed off somewhere between stumbling into the room and stumbling on the bed. They had been painting the spare room when George decided he was bored with that and had tried to seduce her, only she hadn't needed seducing.
"I think you tore my shirt." Julianna grinned as she looked over her shoulder at him as she fingered the bottom where there was a small rip. He chuckled and pulled his boxers on.
"I was in a hurry." He said. She laughed.
"Obviously." He smiled and ran his hands through his hair.
"You looked so damn sexy in those sweatpants and that big t-shirt with paint dripping all over you." He said, teasing her. Her hair tumbled around her shoulders as she laughed once more.
"God, I love you George." She said. They both froze for a brief moment before Julianna shifted uncomfortably on the bed, her back to George. "Whoops." She muttered. "That wasn't supposed to come out." She stood from the bed and bent down, picking up her sweat pants and slipping into them before she turned to him. "I uh, just forget I said anything...I uh..It's no big deal." She said and forced a smile onto her face as she watched his still figure as he stared back up at her. She nodded a little and turned, ready to head out of the room.
"You meant it, didn't you?" He asked. She stopped and didn't say anything for a few moments. Then she nodded and turned to him.
"Yes, I meant it. I don't want to pressure you into saying the same or anything. I guess it's good you know, though." She said and looked down. She felt the tickle of tears in the back of her throat, but managed to act well enough to keep her eyes dry. "I'm going to go paint some more." Julianna looked up at him and nodded slightly before turning and leaving the room.
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Within days Julianna was getting extremely agitated. She hadn't really expected George to tell her that he loved her. But she didn't expect him to act like nothing had happened, that nothing had changed. But she could feel it.
Julianna tried not to let it, but it hurt. It felt like he was ignoring her feelings. She knew he knew that she needed to hear something in return. And even if he didn't tell her he loved her, he could at least show he cared.
Julianna arrived at the set of ER earlier than George did. He didn't have to be there for a few more hours because he wasn't needed for filming. She sighed and threw her things into her trailer quickly and walked out to find everyone else. She grabbed a cup of coffee and found them all standing around the admit desk on the set.
"Hey Jules." Tony called out to her upon her arrival. She smiled at him and the rest of the crew as they greeted her.
"Hey guys." She said and set her coffee onto the desk, her hand still wrapped around it's base.
"What's going on this morning?" Noah asked. She stifled a yawn with her free hand.
"Nothing much." She managed to get out after her yawn. Noah chuckled.
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Later that day, Julianna was sitting in Alex Kingston's trailer, sharing a quick lunch with her before they had to head back to the set. Since Alex's arrival early that season, she and Julianna had became friends quickly and often hung around together on the set when they weren't needed.
"So, Tony told me about George's contract." Alex said. Julianna raised her eyebrows as she bit into a sandwich.
"What about it?" She asked.
"About him deciding not to sign on for two more years after his contract runs out next year." Alex said, taking a sip of her Diet Coke.
"What?" Julianna asked, placing her sandwich down onto the table.
"You didn't know?" Alex asked, her face becoming alarmed. Julianna shook her head.
"He didn't mention it, no." Julianna replied.
"Oh dear, I think I've said too much." Alex said.
"Who did you hear it from?" Julianna asked calmly, but the anger was building up inside her.
"Tony told me that George told him. He said that George talked to John Wells and the others." Alex said, swallowing nervously as she felt the tension suddenly leaking from Julianna.
"He must've just been waiting to tell me." Julianna said and picked up her sandwich again, taking another bite. Alex looked down at her salad and swallowed.
"Must have." She said and fell silent, realizing Julianna's wheels were turning in her head as she sat silently, thinking and eating.
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"Jules, is something wrong?" George asked later that night as they entered the house. Since he had arrived at work that afternoon, she had avoided him as best she could, besides their one scene together.
"What do you mean?" She asked, turning to him, her voice sickly sweet.
"You're upset." He sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. He didn't know why, just that she was, and with him.
"When were you planning on telling me you are quitting ER?" She asked. His throat tightened.
"How'd you find out?" He asked.
"Does it matter how I found out? What matters is that you didn't tell me. George, that's something big. If I were to quit ER, I would have told you. We're supposed to share things together. Isn't that part of the point of being together?" She asked. She was extremely angry, George could tell.
"I'm sorry. I didn't think." He said. She smiled sarcastically and turned, her eyes filling with tears.
"Obviously." She said. Then she turned to him, her eyes wet. Oh no, he thought, not the tears. He could handle her tantrums, but seeing her cry broke him down.
"Jules.." He trailed off, reaching an arm out to her, but she stepped away. That hurt worse than a slap across the face.
"Don't.." She warned, but her voice broke. "I tell you that I love you and you don't respond in any way. If anything you backed off. I understand you can't say the words, but you ignored them completely. I trusted you and thought we could communicate better than we can. You didn't tell me about your contract, George." The tears began to spill over. "That hurts. All of it hurts. I don't think I can take it. If you don't love me, I understand that. But you could at least let me know, so I wouldn't hurt like this." She turned away from him then, wiping the tears away. He stared at her, dumbfounded. She kept her back to him, trembling slightly as she wrapped her arms across her chest. "I want you to leave."
"Jules.." He protested but she cut him off.
"I want you to take your things and leave. I don't want to live with you anymore." She said. His jaw dropped.
"You don't mean that." He said. Her heart broke.
"If I didn't mean it, I wouldn't ask." Her voice was stony. "Leave." She managed to get out, but barely above a whisper. He stood, staring at her back before he turned and headed towards the stairs. She watched him out of the corner of her eye and waited until he climbed the stairs before she let her head drop and the tears begin to fall again. She heard him walking across the floor upstairs and knew he was headed into their room. Julianna moved towards the window that looked out into the back of the house, facing the pool. She stared, her arms folded across her chest as she fought the tears, knowing they would have to wait until he was gone.
Minutes later he came down into the living room where she stood, an armful of clothes in his hand and his bathroom bag.
"I'll come and get the rest some other time." He paused. "When you're not home." He said, talking to her back. He saw her nod slightly and he sighed. "I'm sorry." He murmured and turned, heading for the door. He pulled it open, his heart heavy in his chest, heavier than it ever had been. He looked back at her before stepping into the garage and closing the door behind him. He slid into his car after piling his clothes into the back. And leaned his head against the steering wheel before he sighed heavily.
As soon as the garage door closed behind him, she let out a weak sob and buried her face into her hands as she cried harshly.
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George knocked on the door of Tony's house. Within minutes, Tony opened the door in his robe.
"George?" He questioned.
"Hey." George said.
"Come in." Tony said and held the door open. He knew something was wrong. He could tell by the way George was acting.
"I'm sorry to bother you so late. Are the kids in bed?" George asked. Tony nodded.
"Uh huh. I was getting ready to head up to bed too." Tony said.
"I'm sorry." George said. Tony smiled slightly.
"What happened?" He asked.
"Julianna kicked me out." He muttered and reached a hand up to scratch his face absently.
"Why?" Tony murmured.
"Because I didn't tell her. She found out somehow about my contract and she said that if I don't trust her than I should leave. She didn't let me talk."
"That doesn't sound like Jules." Tony said.
"Two weeks ago she told me she loved me and I..." George paused. "Didn't do anything. I didn't say anything. I didn't even act differently. I went on like everything was the same. I knew it hurt her...and when I didn't tell her about the contract, she said that if I couldn't tell her things, couldn't even try to show her I cared, couldn't.....couldn't love her than I should leave. But she wasn't giving me an option." George sighed. "I don't have anywhere else to go. I don't have my own place anymore." He said.
"You can stay here as long as you need." Tony said. George looked up and smiled weakly.
"Thanks Tony." George said.
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George looked across the Warner Bros. parking lot at Julianna as she headed towards his trailer. For the past few days, she hadn't talked to him, unless they were doing a scene together. Everyone knew about their break-up, so it just made things worse for him because people felt sorry for him. Another blow to his system was that she was doing her job beautifully. Her acting was wonderful and because he had let his personal life interfere, his acting sucked.
It was hard to pretend like he was dating her on TV, when he had realized he was in love with her in real life. But it was too late now. She didn't care anymore. He sighed and started jogging across the parking lot towards her.
"Jules!" He called out. She turned to him.
"What?" She asked, stopping in front of her trailer as he came up to her.
"I need to talk to you." He said. She sighed.
"Could you make it quick, I'm kind of in a hurry." He felt another punch to his heart.
"Yeah, sure. I just wanted to say that I respect your decision about us breaking up or whatever." He said and looked down. "But I also think that we need to at least try to be friendly, if not for us, for the sake of our friends. They know we aren't together anymore and they can feel the tension in the air, just when we are in the same room. If you don't want to be friends with me, that's your decision and I'll have to deal with that, but we could at least try to be civilized in front of everyone else." George suggested.
"You're right. It probably is difficult for our friends." She sighed. "I'm sorry I've been such a bitch." She paused. "I'll try to be more friendly." She said. He nodded.
"Good." He paused. "Well you can go now, that's all I wanted." He said. She nodded and saw the truly sad look on his face. It nearly melted her heart, but she realized what was happening quickly enough and she turned to stone. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned, his head down as he made his was back to the set, acting like a puppy that had just been kicked. She sighed heavily and pushed her way into her trailer.
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"What is she doing?" George asked, walking up to the Warner Bro's studio. Noah and Laura's son, Cal, were standing and looking up at the building. Julianna was climbing a ladder on the side of the building.
"Cal threw his ball on the roof. I wasn't out here when he told Jules, so she went to retrieve it." Noah filled George in as Julianna stepped onto the roof. George watched as her head bent and she walked a few feet to her left. Julianna looked down to the three of them standing around and she smiled at Cal.
"Here it is!" She yelled and tossed it to the ground. Cal ran after it.
"Thanks Julianna!" He yelled. She smiled and waved at him before turning back to the ladder. George watched as she stepped from the roof onto the top rung of the later. His palms began to sweat. He got that feeling in his stomach like something bad was going to happen. You're being stupid, he thought and wiped his hands on his jeans.
George watched as Julianna went to step down on the next rung. Her foot missed completely and she slipped, her hands sliding right off the bars. She let out a shriek of surprise as she fell.
"Jules!" George yelled and watched as she hit the ground with a sickening thud. "Oh God." He fell to his knees beside her and touched her arm. Her eyes were closed and he knew she was in trouble, he had seen the way her head had hit the pavement. He touched her cheek, not daring to tilt her head to the side, in case she was hurt. Noah dropped down to his knees beside George.
"Cal!" Noah called when he saw the little boy standing, his eyes wide in shock. "Go get as many people as you can. Tell them Julianna is hurt! Get your Mom!" Noah said. Cal stood still, shocked before he turned, the ball falling to the ground and rolling to the side as he fled into the building. Moments later, Laura, Alex, Tony, a bunch of the crew, and some of the real nurses who played as background nurses on ER came running out of the building. The nurses all jumped into action.
"Don't move her. Keep her still."
"Someone call 911." A nurse ordered. Noah stood, backing away from Julianna and taking his cell phone from his pocket and dialing quickly.
"What happened?" Laura asked, holding on to Cal as he buried his face against her chest.
"She fell off the ladder." Cal said and shuddered. Laura bent her head, kissing Cal's head as she looked at the ladder on the side of the building. She wondered what Julianna had been doing on the ladder, but didn't ask. Everyone watched as the nurses bent over Julianna, taking her vitals as best as they could without machines. George stayed bent over Julianna, watching in horror.
Everyone heard the sound of the ambulance's in the distance and prayed they would come in time.
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George stood in the waiting room with Rachel, Julianna's sister. She lived in California, close to Julianna, so George had called her to come and she had called the rest of the family, who was on their way. George paced around the room, his hands dangling helplessly to his side. He needed to do something. He needed to see her. Rachel sat in the chair, her hands clutched together on her lap and she watched him pace, making her more and more nervous. She was just about to ask him if he would sit down when the doctor came through into the waiting room of the emergency room. Rachel jumped up and came to George's side. She touched his arm slightly.
"How is she?" George asked, his eyes wide.
"We sent her up to radiology. She needs a head CT. She broke her ankle and we took care of that as best as we could. There's not much I can tell you, other then she's not in our hands any longer." The young doctor smiled softly. "After radiology, she'll be sent to her own room up on the fourth floor. So if you want to head up there and wait, that should be alright."
"How does she look? Will she be okay?" Rachel asked, wringing her hands nervously. The doctor nodded.
"She hit her head pretty hard from the looks of it. I don't know exactly but there's a chance she could have some damage in her brain. If not, she'll definitely have a pretty huge concussion." He said. Rachel nodded.
"Thank you doctor." She said. He nodded and walked off after touching her arm gently. Rachel turned to George, tears swimming in her eyes.
"Brain damage." She managed to get out. "Oh, George." Rachel said. George opened his arms to her and let her fall against his chest. He buried his face in her matching curly hair and sighed gruffly, trying to be of some comfort to Julianna's trembling sister, but he was trembling himself.
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Later that afternoon, George was finally allowed into Julianna's room. He stepped up to the bed and gazed down at her. Her head was bandaged and her ankle was in a cast. She was very still except for the shallow rise of her chest as she breathed. Her skin was paler than normal and she looked extremely thin lying in the huge hospital gown. George sighed gruffly and took her hand into his. He sat down beside her bed and brought their joined hands to his cheek. He touched the back of her hand to his face and bent his head, his eyes closing.
"Oh Jules.." He murmured. He looked up at her and kissed her knuckles. "I probably shouldn't even be here right now. You probably wouldn't want me to be." He shook his head slightly, still gazing at her face. "When you fell off that ladder, my whole world stopped and when you hit, I hit the ground with you. I was so scared, Jules. I thought I would lose you there for awhile." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I know I never told you this when you were....When we were still together, but I was scared. I was scared of your love for me, our love together." He paused. "I love you, Julianna." He stood and leaned down, brushing his lips across her cheek gently. "I love you." He repeated and placed her hand onto the bed and turned, heading out of the room. He leaned against the wall and took a deep shuddering breath. "God." He muttered and began walking down the hall, towards the waiting room.
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George, Tony, Rachel, and Julianna's parents and other sister were sitting in Julianna's room together later that night. Tony had come to check on Julianna and make sure George was okay. The rest of Julianna's family had arrived a few moments earlier and the doctor had called them in to talk.
"When she was brought in we were concerned about her head the most. She took a fall from several feet off the ground and hit her head. So, we got a head CT to check for various things that could have been wrong. Luckily for her, we didn't find anything."
"Thank God." Francesca, Julianna's mother, murmured, clutching to her husband, Jack's hand. Paul Margulies, Julianna's father was sitting between her sisters, holding each of their hands. George and Tony were sitting beside each other, listening intently.
"There is one thing to be concerned about." Everyone's attention was drawn completely back to him. The doctor motioned behind him, towards Julianna. "She hit her head pretty hard. After a head injury of her sort, we sometimes run across amnesia. She may not remember how she got hurt. Or she may forget the past week, the past month, the past year. She may not remember who any of you are. There are so many different types of amnesia that it is impossible to figure out what she may or may not forget. But there is always the chance that she will remember everything. There's no way for us to know until she wakes." The doctor said. A cloud settled over all their hearts. None of them had even contemplated this. They had all figured that once she awoke, she would be as she was before the accident. George sighed and leaned forward in his seat, burying his face into his hands.
What if she forgot all about this past week and what had happened between them? What would he do then? What if she forgot she had ever even told him she loved him? What if she forgot they were dating? And dear God, what if she forgot who he was? A million thoughts raced through his mind as he struggled to stay on track. George looked up, glancing at Julianna's family. They were all sitting, staring at the doctor or thinking their own thoughts of doubt. He sighed and stood up, making his way to Julianna's bedside. He took her hand into his and just stood, staring down at her.
++++++
A few hours later, George was getting ready to leave. He bent down and kissed Julianna's cheek briefly. He stopped suddenly when he thought he felt her squeeze the hand he was holding her hand with. He looked at her but she didn't move anymore. He sighed and knew he was imagining things, so he turned and began to walk from the room but he stopped in his tracks when he could have swore he heard her make a noise. He turned and looked at her and was amazed when he saw her hand lift up as she tried to touch her face. He hesitated. Her eyes weren't open yet and he thought about leaving and telling her family that she was awake because he didn't figure she would want to see him when she woke. George turned, getting ready to flee the room.
"George?" Her voice croaked out. He froze before he turned and made his way back to her bed.
"You're awake." He said, smiling. She reached her hand out for his and he took it. She remembered who he was, he thought with some relief.
"What's going on?" She asked. He pulled up a stool and sat beside her on the bed, her hand in his.
"Don't you remember?" He asked. She shook her head.
"The last thing I remember clearly is..." She paused and closed her eyes briefly. She bit her bottom lip gently as she opened her eyes. "Our conversation in the parking lot." She murmured. He smiled and rubbed his thumb across her thumb.
"That's good." He said.
"Why?" She asked.
"The doctor said he wasn't sure what you would remember. He wasn't sure if you would even remember your parents, sisters, or me." He said. She smiled.
"I remember everyone alright." She said. He chuckled slightly.
"You're only a few days behind." He said.
"Hmm?"
"Our conversation in the parking lot was three days ago, Jules." He said.
"You mean I forget the last three days?" She asked. He sighed softly and nodded.
"Yeah. Lucky for you, nothing big happened. At least I don't think it did. You didn't mention anything to me." He said. She sighed.
"What happened to me? Why am I here?" She asked. He sighed.
"That I am still a bit unclear on. I came up to the studio this morning and you were on that ladder climbing up the side of the building. Cal threw his ball up there and for some reason you told him you would go get it. So you went onto the building and got his ball. Noah, Cal, and I were standing below, waiting on you. As you were coming down, you slipped and fell, landing on your back and smacking you head against the pavement and scared the shit out of all of us, especially me." George said.
"Sorry." She said. "So, what's all wrong with me? They must have me on drugs right now, because I'm not feeling much."
"You broke your right ankle and you got a nice concussion. Lucky for you, you didn't crack your skull." He said. She sighed.
"Thank God." She brought her free hand up and touched the bandage on her head. "How bad do I look?" She asked. He smiled.
"You don't." He said. She smirked.
"Tell me the truth, liar." She said. He sighed, still smiling.
"You're extremely pale, paler than normal. You have bruises and scrapes on your arms." He watched as she glanced down at her arms. "And you look as skinny as a pole in that baggy hospital gown." He said. She sighed.
"Thanks." She said. He chuckled.
"You look beautiful." He murmured and stood, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I really should be going. You're parents are still here, so I'll go give them the news that you are awake so they can come fuss over you, okay?" He asked. She smiled slightly and nodded.
"Okay." She said. He smiled and turned to go, but she stopped him by pulling on his hand. "Wait a sec." She said. He turned back to her. "I'm sorry that I scared you by falling." She said. He laughed quietly and bent down, kissing her cheek again.
"Don't worry about it. You're alive and awake and you need to focus on getting better." He said. She smiled and let go of his hand. "Bye Jules." He said and headed out of the room to find her family.
++++++O++++++O++++++
Julianna was finally home. She didn't like the fact that Rachel was staying with her for a few days, but she was home nonetheless. Julianna was sitting on the couch, watching TV with Rachel when the doorbell rang. Julianna moved to stand, but Rachel held her back on the couch.
"I'll get it." She said and stood. Julianna rolled her eyes but secretly was glad. She still got a little dizzy when she stood. She couldn't see who was at the door, but she could hear her sister and the person conversing. Moments later, Alex walked into the room.
"Hey Jules!" Alex said in her lovely English voice.
"Alex!" Julianna smiled widely.
"I'm going to go in the kitchen and fix me some tea. Would you like some?" Rachel asked Julianna and Alex.
"Yes, thank you." Alex said.
"I'd appreciate it, Rach." Julianna said as Rachel headed into the kitchen.
"So, how have you been?" Alex asked.
"Fine. I'm getting better. Getting my strength back." Julianna said. Alex smiled.
"That's good. Have you gotten your memory back?" She asked. Julianna grinned.
"Not really. But according to everyone, I didn't forget much. So, tell me all about what's happening at work. I'm so bored." Julianna dragging out the 'so'. Alex chuckled.
"Things are good. Mostly back to normal now that everyone knows you are okay. Everyone's asking George about you though. He joked that he was just going to post everything up on the bulletin board or pass out flyers so he wouldn't have to repeat himself to ever crewman." Alex said. Julianna laughed.
"That's so like George." She said.
"So, have you talked to him lately?" Alex asked.
"Well...When I first woke up he was there. He visited me in the hospital once after that, but only for a short while. And he called me last night at the hospital. He wasn't around as much as I thought he would be." Julianna said.
"Well, do you really expect him to?" Alex asked. Julianna looked at her.
"What?"
"If the last thing you remember is your discussion in the parking lot, than you remember everything that happened before. He doesn't think you want him around. You broke up with him, Julianna. You were doing a pretty good job of avoiding him when you could at work."
"I don't remember." Julianna said, frustrated.
"Like we said, it was nothing new. You were more friendly with him, mostly for our sakes we all knew. But when you were alone, we all saw that you two didn't talk." Alex said, her eyes somewhat disapproving.
"Why are you giving me that look?" Julianna asked and sighed. Alex rolled her eyes.
"I think you're being ridiculous. Somebody needs to tell you that." Alex said.
"What do you mean, I'm being ridiculous?" Julianna asked.
"You told him you loved him, correct?" Alex asked. Julianna nodded. "So he didn't tell you in return. That hurt you, I understand that. But did you ever think that he's had bad relationships in the past and he's not so easy with those three words?" Alex asked.
"Why are you taking his side? And besides, that's not the only reason we broke up. He withheld important information about his life from me. We were supposed to share such things." Julianna argued. Alex sighed.
"This isn't a war, there are no sides. And yes, George didn't tell you about him quitting ER next year. But did you ever realize that maybe he didn't tell you because he didn't want to disappoint you?" Alex asked. Julianna sighed.
"What do you mean, disappoint me?" She asked.
"He loves you, Julianna. And he didn't want to disappoint you by leaving a show that you've worked on together for four years, five next year. He didn't want to make you feel as if he was leaving the show for reasons other than the fact that he wants more career opportunities." Alex said. Julianna sighed and hung her head.
"Alex, I know you disagree with what I've done, but it's what I thought was best at the time."
"At the time?" Alex asked. Julianna sighed.
"I miss him." She said.
"Tell him that." Alex said. Julianna looked up.
"I can't."
"Why can't you?" Alex asked. Julianna sighed.
"Maybe you think he loves me, but I can't be so sure. He's never told me, never said the words to me." Julianna said. Now it was Alex's turn to sigh.
"You know him better than I. And you know he was married before. You know he has dated a lot of women and is....in case you haven't noticed, is insecure about his relationships. He knew you loved him, but he was scared to tell you that he loved you because of his own insecurities about love not working out for him." Alex said. "You should know that."
"Maybe. I need to have a talk with him." Julianna said softly. Alex grinned.
"There you go. Now I'm getting somewhere. Just think about it, okay?" Alex said. Julianna nodded.
"I will."
"Good. Now let's talk about something else, get our minds off the topic." Alex said. Julianna grinned.
"How's Florian?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. Alex grinned. Her favorite topic.
++++++
George sighed. He hated his new apartment. He hated everything about it. But most of all he hated that he was living alone, without Julianna. He brushed a hand through his hair and stretched out on the couch. Life sucked, he thought but was brought out of his thoughts by the telephone ringing. He stumbled off the couch and into the kitchen where he had left his cordless.
"Hello?" He asked, bringing the phone up to his ear.
"Hey George." He heard Julianna's voice on the other end.
"Hey Jules!" He exclaimed and smiled.
"Thank you for the flowers." She said. He smiled. He had sent her a dozen white roses, one of her favorite types of flowers.
"You're welcome. I thought you could use some cheering up. And I figured you have enough flowers, but I wanted to get you some more." He said. She laughed.
"Well, they're beautiful." She said. He nodded.
"So, how are you?" He asked.
"Pretty good. I don't get dizzy when I stand up now. And I can stay on my feet for longer periods of time even though I have to use these stupid crutches." She said. He laughed.
"You need a personal piggy backer. Someone who can give you piggy back rides everywhere instead of you walking on those crutches."
"Why don't you be my personal piggy backer?" She asked and laughed. "That's funny. Piggy backer. Anyways, what are you doing? Anything important?" She asked.
"Nope. Why?" He asked.
"I was hoping you could come over. Or would, anyway. I wanted to talk to you....about everything." She said quietly. He held back a sigh.
"About everything?" He asked.
"Yeah. I'm sorry about.....Just, come over. I'd rather do this in person." She said. He nodded.
"Okay. I'll be there. I'll let myself in, okay? So you don't have to use your crutches to get the door." He said. She smiled.
"Thanks George." She said.
"Alright, see you in a little bit." He said and hung up the phone. She smiled and clicked her phone off as she slid further into the couch.
++++++
"Hey." George said, walking into the living room where she was sitting, her casted ankle propped up on the coffee table.
"Hi." She said and waited until he took a seat beside her on the couch.
"How's the ankle?" He asked.
"Wonderful. I love drugs." She said. He chuckled.
"I'm sure you do. I see you got your bandage off." He said. He hadn't seen her since the bandage on her head had been removed.
"Yeah, I got it off a couple days ago. It felt nice to wash my hair, even if I had to do it in the sink." She said. He chuckled.
"Rachel didn't help you?"
"She tried but I fought her off." Julianna said.
"Where is she now, anyway?"
"I sent her home for awhile because I told her you were coming over to babysit." She said, making a face. He chuckled slightly. "Besides, Eric had a soccer game she had to take him to." Julianna said, referring to Rachel's five-year-old son.
"So.." He paused, not sure if he really wanted to know, but he asked. "What did you want to talk to me about?" He asked. She smiled and let out a short sigh.
"We haven't really talked about......us, since before my fall." She said. He nodded and looked down at his hands which were resting idly in his lap.
"No, we haven't." He murmured, ready for some more bashing.
"I know I wasn't fair to you." She said. He looked up.
"What?" He asked.
"Alex came over the other night and she told me that I was being ridiculous. She said that even though we were acting friendly at work for everyone's sake, no one fell for it and they knew we still weren't....talking. At least not like we use to. Then she proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't have broke up with you." Julianna said.
"Alex said that?" George asked. He figured Alex would agree with Julianna, figuring it would be some sort of woman thing. She nodded.
"Yeah. She knocked some sense into me since the fall obviously didn't." Julianna grinned. "I know I wasn't fair for being upset with you about not telling me about your contract. I was just upset and hurt and I let it get the best of me."
"I'm sorry I hurt you." He said. She shook her head and smiled at him.
"I understand if you didn't.....If you don't love me, George. And I understand if you did that you were afraid to tell me because of your past relationships and all. I'm sorry that I was a complete and utter bitch about it all.." She tried to continue but was cut off by his words.
"I love you." He said and took her chin into his hands to stop her from talking. She stared at him, her eyes wide in surprise. "I've loved you since I first saw you." He smiled at the memory of her turning her head to look at him when he asked allowed who she was at the beginning of ER. "I just didn't know how to tell you. Then when we kissed under the mistletoe, I could hardly believe it." He chuckled at how cliche it sounded. "Yes, I was afraid of love. I was afraid of my intensity of my love for you. I never wanted to hurt you. That's probably why I didn't tell you about my contract, because I didn't want you to be upset about me not staying." He stared into her eyes and she nearly melted. From his gaze, his touch. His words.
"I love you." She murmured. He smiled and pressed his lips to hers.
"I love you too, Julianna."
++++++O++++++O++++++