February 19th, 2003

~~~~~x~~~~~

I've probably wrote one of these before, and if I have, I'm sorry. I kind of wrote this same thing in my D/C standalone "Calm Before the Storm". I'm going to write another one, a little different this time, and better writing. I was watching the end of The Storm II - which I can watch over and over because it's such a great scene between my two favorite actors. This is just going to be a short D/C fic about Doug and Carol's feelings about him leaving, plus how I think he left. There is a bit of a NC-17 scene in here, but it's not really a normal scene. It's vital to the story. You can skip it if you want, but this story is only five scenes long, so it's kind of hard to skip. But you can decide. This story is really short.

~~~~~x~~~~~

"So I spoke to Anspaugh. Told him I was quitting." Doug said quietly to Carol. Her heart thudded hard at the sound of him saying quitting. She was already pleading with him in her head and in her heart not to leave her.

"What did he say?" Carol managed to get out.

"He was polite enough not to burst into song, but..." Doug smiles weakly. Carol makes a sound like laughter in her throat, but it's not really laughter. "He didn't try to talk me out of it."

"Well, did you expect him to?" Carol asked, wishing herself that Anspaugh had told Doug not to leave.

"No." Doug said, and paused. "Julian in genetics stood up for me with the cops."

"And?" Carol asked, her heart thumping again.

"They're not going to prosecute." Thank God, Carol thought.

"That's great." She said honestly. He nodded a bit.

"Yeah." They remained silent for a few seconds. "Long night, huh?" He asked, desperately trying to grasp at something to say. Wishing he knew what to say to her to make her come with him. Carol nodded.

"Yup." She said simply. Her heart begins to crumble slowly inside of her.

"You're not coming with me, are you?" He voiced the question that had been inside him for awhile now. Carol's stomach flopped and her heart began to pound. Her mouth was dry.

"Are you really leaving?" She asked, hoping he would say he wasn't. Hoping that he was joking with her. That he really would not leave her.

"There's nothing for me here." Carol's heart shattered. She felt his words like a punch to her gut.

"I'm here." She said sternly and felt tears burning in the back of her throat.

"I mean work." He whispered. "I can't stay here."

"Not even for me?" She asked. Don't ask that, Carol, he begged silently. Don't do this.

"Come with me." He pleaded. Don't say no, Carol.

"I want you to stay here." She pleaded back. Her hands were icy cold.

"I can't." He said. She struggled with that.

"I don't understand that." She said simply, her entire being aching for what she was losing.

"I have to go...Carol." He paused. "I can't stay here." I can't, he thought, believing he had no other choice. Carol looks down, and he looks down with her, wondering what she is thinking. He sighs gruffly, unable to stand the tension between them. He turns to leave, walking a few feet.

"Doug." She said. He stopped, his heart pounding. Carol, come with me, he thought. Carol's breath hitches and tears start to fall. "I don't wanna wake up alone tomorrow." She said, pleading with him one last time to stay with her. Oh God, she couldn't breath. Doug came back to her quickly, unable to just leave her standing there, begging for him. He takes her face firmly in his hands and kisses her. Carol continues crying, making the kissing difficult.

"I love you." He whispers. She lets out a sob, and cries harder. Don't say that, she pleaded silently. Don't tell me you're leaving me. Doug kisses her again. Then he kisses her forehead and her cheek. Finally after much debate, he drops his hands from her face and turns around. He tries to hurry because the sounds of her crying behind him are slowly killing him.

Carol feels the loss straight through her, even though he really isn't gone yet. She watches him go, barely able to stop herself from falling to the ground in a sobbing heap. She wipes her eyes, trying to control herself. She presses her fingers to her lips, trying to keep the sobs inside. The pain inside.

Don't go, Doug, don't go. She pleaded silently.

~~~~~x~~~~~

After Doug had left Mark playing basketball, he had gone home to find the house empty. Carol's shift wasn't over yet. Doug trudged up the stairs and began to pack his things methodically. When he was done with a suitcase he would drag it down the stairs. When he was finished he had three suitcases full of things, and two boxes. When he was finished packing everything but what he wanted to take on the plane, he started loading everything into his jeep. When he was done with that he walked back into the house and up the stairs to the bedroom. He grabbed a smaller bag and began to put things inside that he could take with him as carry on. A few magazines, a book or two, a framed picture of himself and Carol that Mark had taken at a party. He stared at it, stroking his thumb over her face in the picture and sighed. He placed it in the bag.

Just outside the house Carol was walking up the sidewalk, relieved to see his jeep still there. It meant he was still home and hadn't left her. Yet. She quickened her pace and opened the door with her key. She didn't hear or see him so she went quickly up the stairs to their bedroom. When she walked in he had his back to her and he was zipping up a small bag. Her heart dropped.

"Doug." She whispered. He turned to stare at her. He picked up the bag and moved toward her, placing it near her feet, by the doorway. They stood close to each other, just watching, waiting for the other to make the first move. Finally he lifted a hand and cupped her elbow. She came into his arms, wrapping herself around him, trying to bury in and become one with him. Then he couldn't leave her. "What about..?"

"Carol, don't do this." He whispered. She sighed and nodded.

"I know." Tears blurred her eyes but she blinked them away. She lifted her head. "When does your flight leave?" She asked.

"Six." He replied. She glanced at the clock. 12:30 AM it read. She sighed. Five and a half more hours, she thought silently. He looked at the clock with her, nearly feeling the time slip by him. They turned back to each other and automatically their lips met. Carol clung to him, promising herself that she wasn't going to let go of him for the next five and a half hours.

~~~~~x~~~~~

Doug slid inside of Carol and he moaned softly. They stared into each other's eyes, having been quieter than normal as they made love. Doug saw tears welling up in Carol's eyes and he sighed, bending his head and kissing her. When he lifted his head he saw a tear slide it's way out of her eye.

"Carol." He said gruffly. She closed her eyes, tightening her arms and legs around him as he pushed into her. "I love you." He murmured. Another tear fell. He kissed it away. Carol sighed and then began to move under him, deciding to put her heart and soul into the lovemaking instead of crying over it. Doug pressed his forehead against her as they tumbled over the edge together.

~~~~~x~~~~~

"Don't leave." She begged softly.

"Carol." He said, his heart aching within him. She buried her face into his chest, growing silent. His arms tightened around her. He felt her tears on his chest and he bent his head, rubbing his lips across her hairline. "I love you, no matter what." He whispered and felt a tiny sob erupt from her. He tipped her chin up and kissed her again.

Throughout the night they made love as often as they could, desperately trying to hold onto their last hours together. Around four-thirty AM Carol fell into an exhausted sleep. Doug stayed awake, watching her sleep as he held her. He cried then, only when she was asleep.

At five o'clock he gently unfolded her from his arms and slipped out of the bed. He stood, watching her for a few more seconds to make sure she wouldn't wake up. He gathered up some clothes, his bag, and went downstairs to take a shower in the bathroom on the first floor so he wouldn't wake her. He was out the door by five-fifteen AM.

~~~~~x~~~~~

Forty-five minutes later Carol woke up to find Doug's place on the bed empty. Her heart tripped in her throat and she scrambled into a sitting position. She didn't hear a sound. She rushed out of the bed and went quickly to her window and looked out.

His jeep was gone. Tears immediately began to fall from her eyes. She stared at the empty spot and cried. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was six AM. He should be leaving now, or at least boarding the plane. She sighed gruffly. After a few seconds she gathered up her underwear and a t-shirt and slipped into them. Then she made her way downstairs, hoping against hope that maybe he had just moved the jeep, and that he had decided not to leave. She looked out the front window. It wasn't there. Her legs began to crumple and she made her way to the couch. She fell onto it and began to sob harder than she ever had before.

She was crying so hard that she made herself throw up. She ran to the bathroom in time and emptied her stomach of everything she had eaten the day before, which hadn't been much. When she was finished she could smell his shampoo and realized he had taken a shower down there while she had still been sleeping. She continued crying, curled up in a ball in the corner of the bathroom, wallowing in her sadness.

He had left her without a goodbye, much like he used to when they had been together the first time. And she hated him for it. For leaving her without a goodbye.

~~~~~x~~~~~